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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To make dh clean up his own sick?

93 replies

plon1041m · 17/04/2017 22:47

DH came home from work today telling me he wasn't feeling well. He kept complaining about his stomach over dinner so he laid down on the couch and I put a dust bin in front of him. Well I was in bed about to doze off and I heard a retching sound, surprise surprise, DH couldn't make it to the bathroom across the hall or just the dust bin right in front of him!!! He vomited all over the couch, the floor, and himself. I came in there to help and he continued to throw up all over the couch instead of the dust bin! I'm tired and have work tomorrow and I'm pissed that he makes a huge, gross mess instead of using the toilet or the dust bin. AIBU to make him clean up his own mess?

OP posts:
helenfagain · 17/04/2017 22:50

Yabu he is ill. If he'd been drunk fair enough.

PurpleDaisies · 17/04/2017 22:50

Do you think he did it on purpose? If my dh was sick like that I'd help him but then he'd help me if I'd accidentally puked everywhere. You can't always control it.

monkeywithacowface · 17/04/2017 22:56

My 12 and 9 year old have been successfully puking in toilets and buckets for several years now. I can't remember the last time I had to clean sick off the carpet/bed. Unless he is delirious with fever and unable to stand up (in which case he needs an ambulance) I would certainly not clean up his sick.

Gileswithachainsaw · 17/04/2017 22:57

There's no reason he couldn't have made the bucket. My kids manage that.

Scottishchick39 · 17/04/2017 22:59

My four year old can manage to make it to the toilet, no reason why a grown man can't.

amy85 · 17/04/2017 23:00

I'd probably leave him to it... I'm awful I know...But sick makes me heave and almost be sick myself

Pinkheart5915 · 17/04/2017 23:00

If he was drunk I would say yanbu BUT he is actually sick and in those circumstances I'd have no problem doing it, don't get me wrong i wouldn't enjoy doing it or be pleased about it but I love my dh and if he was ill I would cope doing it as I know he'd do it if I was the ill one in fact he did once with my morning sickness, I was vomiting I'm not sick very often and paniced and was just sick where I was

CuppaTeaTeddy · 17/04/2017 23:01

Surely everyone gets to a point just before where they know the sick is coming?
I get he's ill, but why the hell does he expect you to clean it up? That's stupid.

justdontevenfuckingstart · 17/04/2017 23:02

If he is ill and hasn't been drinking if it was my oh I would clear it up. How is he supposed to if he is ill.

ThreeFish · 17/04/2017 23:02

Mhmm. I'm on the fence.
I can manage to not be sick on everything, as can kids.
Has DH form for being looked after, or is he genuinely unable to reach an appropriate bucket?

Lucked · 17/04/2017 23:03

I would be pretty raging, fair enough if done splashed or missed but if your head is in the bucket/bin most will go in.

Your problems is that he appears to be inconsiderate and careless -what sort of job is he going to make of clearing up.

monkeywithacowface · 17/04/2017 23:04

There's always a moment of relief and feeling slightly better after you've been sick, he should use that moment to get a bucket of water and a cloth.

justdontevenfuckingstart · 17/04/2017 23:05

Stupid? Me and my oh look after each other. In what sane world when the person you love is ill do you just leave them to clear it up themselves.
Seriously?

DragonMamma · 17/04/2017 23:05

My DH did this once, when we all had a stomach bug.

What pissed me off even more, was that after the initial pouring of vom, there was at least half a minute or so when he could have gone to the downstairs loo but didn't and then continued to throw up all over the floor.

I made him clean it up, after that. We did have wood flooring so it wasn't as bad as yours sounds, OP.

SaucyJack · 17/04/2017 23:06

I can't imagine he would have actively chosen to vomit down himself instead of in the bucket if he'd been awake and/or aware he was going to be imminently sick?

I'm a massive fucking cunt, and even I wouldn't be pissed off with someone having a stomach bug.

Elmersnewfriend · 17/04/2017 23:06

As my DH has never done this in the 20 years I've known him, if he suddenly did that then I'd be sympathetic and sort. However I'm pretty sure he wouldn't if he had a bucket in front of him anyway... is this normal behaviour? Do you think he'd do the same for you?

Goldfishjane · 17/04/2017 23:07

Is he faint or dizzy? I'm emetophobic so I might be paranoid but I'm thinking missing the bin, not drunk - he could be seriously ill.

BanginChoons · 17/04/2017 23:07

How's this gonna roll? He goes and sits in the armchair groaning or has a shower while you clean it up or is he going to sort himself out and you clean it up together? I could just about tolerate the latter.

The bit where you say "make him clean it up himself" insinuates that in your household this would typically be your role. Why is that?

PurpleMinionMummy · 17/04/2017 23:11

The first lot I could understand if caught by surprise. No need to continue to throw up everywhere after that though. Stick your bloody head in the bin!

TalkingofMichaelAngel0 · 17/04/2017 23:12

Im another one who hasnt thrown up anywhere other than where i intended, even when drunk, since being very small and my smll chdren magae too so i would be very unimpressed too

HeyRoly · 17/04/2017 23:13

He's an idiot for not grabbing the bin after the first time he puked over the sofa.

PurpleDaisies · 17/04/2017 23:17

What pissed me off even more, was that after the initial pouring of vom, there was at least half a minute or so when he could have gone to the downstairs loo but didn't and then continued to throw up all over the floor.

Or he might have (as I did last time I had a vomiting bug) felt so faint and dizzy he couldn't stand.

charliethebear · 17/04/2017 23:19

I dont understand how a grown man can not even vomit in the bin next to the sofa? Surely he would just lean over? I've not been sick anywhere bar the toilet since I was about 4? Even if people are normally its in an attempt to find a receptacle. I would probably clean it up as I imagine if he's ill and clearly so unable to aim, him clearing it up is just gonna lead to more mess.

ijustwannadance · 17/04/2017 23:20

The bin was right in front of him ffs.

The issue is if he actually capable of cleaning up his mess to a satisfactory standard in his current state.

Goldfishjane · 17/04/2017 23:21

I haven't missed the receptacle either but last time I was ill my blood pressure was sky high, freaky high and its usually low

Last time my dad was too ill to get to the bathroom he was having a heart attack.

Have I just led a really horrible life....?! Grin

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