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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To make dh clean up his own sick?

93 replies

plon1041m · 17/04/2017 22:47

DH came home from work today telling me he wasn't feeling well. He kept complaining about his stomach over dinner so he laid down on the couch and I put a dust bin in front of him. Well I was in bed about to doze off and I heard a retching sound, surprise surprise, DH couldn't make it to the bathroom across the hall or just the dust bin right in front of him!!! He vomited all over the couch, the floor, and himself. I came in there to help and he continued to throw up all over the couch instead of the dust bin! I'm tired and have work tomorrow and I'm pissed that he makes a huge, gross mess instead of using the toilet or the dust bin. AIBU to make him clean up his own mess?

OP posts:
PyongyangKipperbang · 18/04/2017 00:17

FFS what?!

As I said, the OP had placed a bucket next to his head, seems that he made more effort to miss it than it would have taken to puke into it!

HopeClearwater · 18/04/2017 00:18

YANBU

If he clears it up, he'll know to aim properly next time.

PovertyPain · 18/04/2017 00:23

I can't imagine any adult deliberately throwing up over furniture and carpet in his/her own house. Did he panic while being sick or was he unable to get properly upright? He's your husband, op, is he an arse that wouldn't care or is he normally a decent bloke? I can't imagine expecting a sick person to clean up his/her own vomit.

I've even cleaned up regurgitated, tomato soup that was vomited from the far end of the kitchen, past the dining area, into the hall and finally the downstairs toilet. Youngest boy had been at a party, thought he'd have soup, then it hit. He panicked, thinking it would be disgusting throwing up in the kitchen sink, HE WAS STANDING BESIDE, so tried to make the downstairs toilet. He's a lovely boy and normally very considerate, but panicked and made a silly decision. He really thought he'd make the toilet. Hasn't done it since.

Darbs76 · 18/04/2017 00:23

I'd probably clean it up but if he knew the bin was there then I'd be really hacked off. My kids have been able to make the bowl most times for years now, I have a serious illness and vomit a lot and never has it been that sudden I can't move my body over to a bowl. If you know someone less might be cleaning up your mess different story but not sure why anyone would want their sofa and carpet forever smelling of vomit as so hard to get the smell out of of

KazenoTaninoNaushika · 18/04/2017 00:24

He sounds really poorly, OP. Unless he's a psychopath, I imagine he wasn't doing it to piss you off. If he's that ill I think he'd find it hard to clean up himself and would appreciate a bit of TLC. Personally, I'd clean up after mine. I fished a poo out of the bath once when my ex had horrendous gastroenteritis. If he doesn't reciprocate that for you when you need help (maybe in a different but equally meaningful way), then you have a problem. My ex didn't...hence he's an ex!

monkeywithacowface · 18/04/2017 00:28

Oh my I have so many questions about the poo in the bath...

Madwoman5 · 18/04/2017 00:50

Saucyjack, no one gets to witness my vomiting and lives! Have spent nights on bathroom floor before now rather than let anyone in in case there was a random, unaccounted for chunk...

faithinthesound · 18/04/2017 00:56

OP said there was one initial bout, and then "he continued to be sick".

I can buy he was taken short by the first go-round, but I don't buy that after he realized vomit was a happening thing, he couldn't have reached for the bucket.

I refuse to believe that a grown man, who was feeling ill enough to come home from work, who was feeling ill enough to lay on the couch and miss dinner, wouldn't have at least considered the possibility that he might vomit. He knew he wasn't well. The bucket was right there. As I said, the first bout I'd raise an eyebrow (but I wouldn't clean up. I do not do vomit), but the second bout I would be furious. Now you KNOW it's happening, and you didn't grab the bucket? Unacceptable.

RustyPaperclip · 18/04/2017 01:04

If he was drunk then fair enough, but sickness bugs can come on so quickly. I had one quite recently and felt hot and disorientated. I did my best to make it to the bathroom but to my shame I didn't make it. DH cleaned up after me and put me to bed. Just as I would do for him

faithinthesound · 18/04/2017 01:23

You tried, though, didn't you, RustyPaperclip?

Because there's two big differences between your story and OP's DH.

  1. You made an attempt to get to the bathroom. He did not.
  2. Your sickness came on very suddenly. His did not (he had been feeling ill for hours, ill enough to come home early from work and still feeling ill at dinner time).
LouisevilleLlama · 18/04/2017 02:26

When I vomit it's.ways sudden like a split second warning, I have no idea how others can hold it so long

KazenoTaninoNaushika · 18/04/2017 02:44

@monkey....yeah, in retrospect so do I Confused Grin!! At the time I took it at face value: he was in a bath and started puking everywhere and then it just came out the other end Shock. He was bawling his eyes out too, from the shame of it as well as the illness-feeling. I was soooo in love with him, I just got him out and cleaned it up. BUT he turned out to be a bastard #fml! Luckily my current OH is lovely...and has never pooed in the bath Grin!!

december10th · 18/04/2017 02:55

of course you clean up for him.he is I'll! how is he now op?

iogo · 18/04/2017 03:29

I'd be furious and think he could have at least grabbed the bucket. But I'd clean it up with bad grace as he's genuinely ill. If it was through alcohol then there'd have been no bloody way.

Poor you, cleaning up vom is horrid. I do hope he's felling better too though.

Original poster
plon1041m · 18/04/2017 03:53

So I ended up caving and cleaning it up. Guess who didn't say thanks for cleaning nasty vom from the sofa! That same person just woke up and puked all over himself and the sofa again - yup, not in the dustbin! Guess who's gonna have some cleaning for himself to do in the morning!!!

OP posts:
Eminado · 18/04/2017 05:01

Omg he did it again 🙈

What did he say about the first time?

I can't believe he did it again. Is he delirious w fever or something?

Imbroglio · 18/04/2017 05:15

What was he doing while you cleaned up?

I'm baffled - either he is seriously ill or a massive knobber. What do you think is causing the vomiting?

picklemepopcorn · 18/04/2017 06:40

What's the matter with him? Does he have no spacial awareness? Is he generally clumsy? Why isn't he sleeping on the bathroom floor? That's my family's routine if we think we might be sick.

RachelRagged · 18/04/2017 07:10

Poor sod .

He may have stomach flu OP . I had that a few Christmas's ago and the symptons are much the same sounding.

RachelRagged · 18/04/2017 07:11

Oh and if it IS , hospital gave me comodel (spelling)? for it, Was alright within 4 days

Gileswithachainsaw · 18/04/2017 07:14

Surely as pp said it's more effort to miss the bucket?

Think he's taking the piss a bit tbh.

WatchHowISoar · 18/04/2017 07:19

Yanbu unreasonable if drunk.

My friend had bad norovirus. She had no warning, just started projectile vomiting over the dinner table and couldn't stop. She was mortified and eventually fell asleep after vicious bout. She then woke up and couldn't do a few steps to stop it coming from the other end into the bed either.

Some people can easily make it to the bathroom with a bad gastrobug like norovirus but if he's like my friend (and she's not the first I've heard have it this bad) then yabvvu.

Then again if it is noro you will be likely to find that out yourself in a day or so. Id clean it up and open all the windows. Unless he was drunk then he could do it himself.

Frillyhorseyknickers · 18/04/2017 07:23

Oh twice is just unforgivable. I'd leave him to clean it up but I would supervise - he'll probably miss half of it and you'll have stale sick down the arm rest 😷😷

BaggyCheeks · 18/04/2017 07:26

He did it again?!? I hope your sofa is leather 🤢

I wouldn't be cleaning up after him. I clean up my own vomit (though I've never missed the bucket) and my children's. I'd re-disinfect the area after he had cleaned, but the actual vomit no chance.

Lessthanaballpark · 18/04/2017 07:29

Oh OP I feel for you I really do. DS spent last night vomming but managed every time to get it in the bucket.