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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to cringe at someone calling my dd "princess"

100 replies

WrongSortOfKnife · 16/04/2017 23:06

Father of one of my son's classmates, who we see in passing at various pickups and school-related social stuff, loudly addresses my 6yo girl as "princess" at every occasion. I'm absolutely sure he's being friendly and jocular. I find it patronising and essentially misogynistic. I think she finds it a bit uncomfortable but doesn't know why. Would it be possible to say something without giving offense, or do we just smile politely and carry on? (We are all British, after all.)

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 16/04/2017 23:11

Princess, honey, flower, sugar, treacle.

These ^^ are all names my elderly neighbour calls me and all it does is leave me a little bemused Grin

I suppose if you really have a problem you should say something.

It wouldn't bother me but different strokes and all that.

RaymondinaReddington · 16/04/2017 23:14

Sheesh. He's being nice - in his own way. Don't say anything. It's a bonkers thing to be offended by.

MarcelineTheVampire · 16/04/2017 23:14

It really irks me when people call my DD princess and I think it stems from me thinking its misogynistic.

However, I never say anything as people do not mean any harm and it's not every time but if my DD started finding it uncomfortable when older I would absolutely say something.

PaulAnkaTheDog · 16/04/2017 23:18

Jeezo... Prince, chap, lad, boyo, wee man. All names people use for boys. It's normal. Stop the nonsense.

shirleycartersaidso · 16/04/2017 23:20

I think you're overthinking it.

Waddlelikeapenguin · 16/04/2017 23:20

HE can't remember her name. But yes princess grates on me too, my PIL use it with my DDs occasionally Angry

AssassinatedBeauty · 16/04/2017 23:21

YANBU to internally cringe. It's not a way I'd address children. I wouldn't say anything though unless your DD really hates it herself.

Astro55 · 16/04/2017 23:22

My DD gets called princess as well - it's horrible

Indont mind other things - Love flower petal chick etc

Princess is just Yuck!

Teabagtits · 16/04/2017 23:30

I'm sure it's meant as a term of endearment rather than a means of misogynistic oppression.

My dd likes to point out Leia Organa is/was a kickass princess and tells anyone who calls her princess that's who she wants to be like, she did the same with the girl from Brave too. It's the start of her rejecting the princess label for herself by searching for strong female (princess) characters giving her the best of both worlds.

ThreeFish · 16/04/2017 23:41

I bet he cant remember her name!

LouisevilleLlama · 16/04/2017 23:43

My DD gets called princess as well - it's horrible

Indont mind other things - Love flower petal chick etc

I think it's just personal preference to me I think Love, flower petal and especially chick is weird and irks me as I just hate them

AnnieAnoniMouse · 16/04/2017 23:45

Seriously Hmm.

Get over it.

NoWordForFluffy · 16/04/2017 23:46

My DD won't respond if someone calls her that...she's them that she's called [her name]! We think it's amusing that she doesn't identify with being a princess. 😁

LouisevilleLlama · 16/04/2017 23:46

*My DD gets called princess as well - it's horrible

Indont mind other things - Love flower petal chick etc *

I think it's just personal preference to me I think Love, flower petal and especially chick is weird and irks me as I just hate them

GabsAlot · 16/04/2017 23:47

bet you hate den watts then!

ginswinger · 16/04/2017 23:49

But he's not saying it for your benefit, it's hers. I think it's nice!

WorraLiberty · 16/04/2017 23:51

I don't really care what anyone calls me or my kids, as long as it's a term of endearment that comes from a good place.

When my eldest DS was 4, the elderly lady next door used to call him 'her little lamb' Grin

He used to squirm with embarrassment but eventually got used to it.

Now he's 25, he looks back fondly and laughs at how he used to cringe.

Batghee · 16/04/2017 23:52

whats actually wrong with the word 'princess'? IMO its more misogynistic that people think it couldnt be high praise. Maybe your little princess is fantastically clever and brave. People have a negative idea of what it means to be a princess or a fairy or any thing that is traditionally associated with young girls...... mostly just because they are things associated with young girls. And why should things associated with young girls always be insults?

Bejazzled · 16/04/2017 23:52

"Doesn't identify with being a princess"

Batghee · 16/04/2017 23:56

when you call someone your prince or your princess it basically is just a way of saying they are special to you. The monarchy is the symbolic head of the country so by calling someone prince or princess you are saying that to you they are the most important person. For an older person you might say king or queen.
Its really not an insult. The only reason people think it is is because of disney princesses or fairy tale princesses etc and people always associating them with little girls and people thinking little girls are stupid and that to be like a little girl is stupid.

WorraLiberty · 16/04/2017 23:57

If the OP started a thread saying she wants everyone to call her son by his nickname - 'Princess'

I'm sure some people would be queuing up to say 'YANBU'.

Grin
Birdsgottaf1y · 16/04/2017 23:57

It is said because the person saying it can't remember names,or never knew them, such as Market stall workers.

i also think,Den Watts and Pete Beale.

I think that we should reclaim this stuff. There's a lot of female history that's been ignored, I've been reminded of that since watching the program tonight on Shakespeare's Mother and one on Henry the eight's Wives.

There were Princesses (or equivalent) long before there was Disney.

AssassinatedBeauty · 16/04/2017 23:59

Do people generally say "hello prince" to young boys that they like and/or can't remember the name of? I don't think I've ever heard a boy being called prince.

babyinarms · 17/04/2017 00:00

Wouldn't bother me .

Astro55 · 17/04/2017 00:01

It is said because the person saying it can't remember names

We know that - I just find it very cringy.

My DD never watched Disney princess films, nor want to grow up to be princesses (waited on, pampered, dresses up)

They want to be strong individuals ready to take in any challenge they chose.

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