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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to cringe at someone calling my dd "princess"

100 replies

WrongSortOfKnife · 16/04/2017 23:06

Father of one of my son's classmates, who we see in passing at various pickups and school-related social stuff, loudly addresses my 6yo girl as "princess" at every occasion. I'm absolutely sure he's being friendly and jocular. I find it patronising and essentially misogynistic. I think she finds it a bit uncomfortable but doesn't know why. Would it be possible to say something without giving offense, or do we just smile politely and carry on? (We are all British, after all.)

OP posts:
ProudBadMum · 17/04/2017 05:00

Little prince/princess is the norm around here

I'll never understand this weird Mn thing about its bad for girls to do or say girly things but boys should be championed if they do it

It's fucking weird

Whyarealltheusernamestaken · 17/04/2017 05:18

OK I'm wrong as I've said this before...

OuchBollocks · 17/04/2017 05:20

I've been known to laugh and say "Yeah, Xena Warrior Princess" when DD has been called a princess, she's a lot more Xena than Snow White, wafting about singing 'one day my prince will come', which is the princess stereotype.

sandgrown · 17/04/2017 07:24

Gosh 50 Shades you will find much more important things to get angry about as your daughter gets older! Does it really matter if someone uses "nice"names for young children. When they get a bit older they will say something themselves if they don't like it.

TheDowagerCuntess · 17/04/2017 08:43

I'm as far from the type to call my DD princess as it's possible to be, but you really don't get to dictate what affectionate names someone else uses.

DH sometimes says 'hello princess' to DD in a full on, East End Dirty Den voice, it just cracks me up.

If it was your DH using it everyday as a genuine pet name, then yes, I'd agree that you should probably say something. But this is affectionate. It really takes a certain type to not only take umbrage over it, but to Say Something. Grin Seriously. You don't want to be that person.

Hoolahoops · 17/04/2017 08:52

My DH calls both our girls his "princesses" I'm an affectionate way. "My angel" is another one - he even says that to me. Youngest DD (5) spends half her life in princess dresses and her idea of casual is a tutu skirt. The elder DD (7) will just about wear jeans at a push. However, they're both doing brilliantly at school and are generally very happy. Who knows what they'll be like as teens?

Bananamanfan · 17/04/2017 08:58

I find "princess" misogynistic too, op. I don't think you're being crazy. I doubt the man intends it as anything other than complimentary, but i do think the obesession with encouraging little girls to aspire to be princesses is incredibly damaging. It's very hard to find any dressing up clothes for girls that isn't a princess or a princess version of something.
Unfortunately not many of us have grown up to be waited on, bought things & sit on our arses being beautiful.

cardibach · 17/04/2017 09:30

Can you only buy dressing up clothes marketed at girls then, Bananaman? I'd have thought you just buy the cowboy/spaceman/whatever outfit and when your DD wears it it becomes Cowgirl/spacewoman/whatever. Why do you need a special girls' version? And if you had one, wouldn't it send he wrong message anyway? Dress up is about imagination...
I see where your thought process comes from, OP, but I disagree. It's a term of affection. There are plenty of strong princesses about for counterbalance.

BeyondUser24601 · 17/04/2017 09:35

Not just misogynistic, but royalist too.
Wink

wheresthel1ght · 17/04/2017 10:22

I refer to my own DD as princess all the time - I fail to see why this is so frowned upon. What happened to each to their own??

Point is YANBU to not like it YWBVVVU to say anything as you will look ridiculous

Bananamanfan · 17/04/2017 10:29

Yes of course cardi in fact dd won't wear/play with anything that she suspects is for girls (which is a problem in itself), but I have heard so many parents refusing to buy girls "boys" things & more often not allowing boys "girls" things. DD is the only girl we know tthat wears "boys"clothes. Parents not allowing their dcs to like what they like is a huge problem.

Astro55 · 17/04/2017 10:29

What happened to each to their own??

Because you decided that was ok - ok has decided it isn'

Strangers don't get to decide

TheReefer · 17/04/2017 13:05

Flipping heck, I am laughing my ass off at the thought of grown ass women, overthinking this, and being offended. And then passing the ''eternally offended mantle'' on to our daughters.

In a busy day, it wouldn't even occur to me that a small girl being called 'Princess' was a problem.

It is a term of affection fgs

stargirl1701 · 17/04/2017 13:13

I struggle to bite my tongue if this happens to my girls. It just grates so much. I grind my teeth with a rictus smile in response!

I did say something when someone referred to DD1's nursery friends as her boyfriend. FFS, they are 4. Angry

HoneyDragon · 17/04/2017 15:26

Sugarbomb if you were in Disney in a tiara for more that 5 minutes and someone failed to call you princess I'd assume you were trapped in a locked broom cupboard Grin

user1489261248 · 17/04/2017 15:28

People just look for things to be offended by these days.

YABU.

I wouldn't mind my daughter being called princess at all..... it's cute.

user1489261248 · 17/04/2017 15:30

I bet the OP and the people agreeing with her get all huffy and sniffy when a man holds a door open for them too! Wink

How misogynistic, assuming I cannot open the door myself! The cheek of it, you horrible sexist pig! Shock

Italiangreyhound · 17/04/2017 15:31

user1489261248 I hold doors open for men (and women). Not letting a door slam in a person's face is hardly a chivalrous act, just plain good manners, surely.

twinklestar2 · 17/04/2017 15:31

I hate little girls being called princess too! I thought I was the only one Blush

user1489261248 · 17/04/2017 15:33

@italiangreyhound, you have completely missed the point of my post.......

Floggingmolly · 17/04/2017 15:34

Dear God, the poor bugger probably thinks he's being friendly Confused. And the poster so proud of her 4 year old being rude enough not to respond because she "doesn't identify as a princess" Shock. How spectacularly dim do you have to be? Hmm

BertrandRussell · 17/04/2017 15:39

"Do people generally say "hello prince" to young boys that they like and/or can't remember the name of? I don't think I've ever heard a boy being called prince."

Yes of course they do. Adult men are also routinely referred to as "boys".Men call each other "love" all the time. Women are always cat calling men in the street, and no eyebrows would be raised anywhere if a baby boy was named Susan. Stop overthinking/taking offence at nothing/thinking you have to make everything a feminist issue. It's man haters like you who give feminists a bad name.i bet you make a fuss if a man holds a door open for you, don't you?

BertrandRussell · 17/04/2017 15:41

Have now read more of the thread. I thought I was exaggerating for comic effect. Apparently not!

BillSykesDog · 17/04/2017 15:45

If the person concerned is from London/Essex/Kent it's very much cultural. And I detect distinct classist undertones in objecting to it.

SherlockPotter · 17/04/2017 15:46

Or when some women call their partners 'daddy'... just no!

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