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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To report hubby for drink driving

78 replies

laurel19 · 16/04/2017 02:22

Lately hubby has been going out for drinks after work every day and driving home whilst drunk. I've been at my wits end trying to tell him not to drink drive, but he just won't listen at all... I can't just sit here and wait until he kills himself or someone else :( I've been thinking of calling the police and telling them to wait for him when he comes home... Is it unreasonable to want to report him?

OP posts:

FeralBeryl · 16/04/2017 02:26

No it isn't.
Have you sat down with him (sober) and discussed it?

Euphemism · 16/04/2017 02:27

Not unreasonable at all, in fact you'd be very unreasonable if you didn't. Think how you'd feel if he had an accident and hurt someone (or worse) and you'd not done anything about it...
Drink driving ruins lives and if your husband thinks its ok I'd be considering throwing him out too.

iogo · 16/04/2017 02:27

Not unreasonable at all.

loaferloveforyou · 16/04/2017 02:39

I like to think I would report my DH if he did this, but the reality may be different. It's hard to "grass" on someone you are close to. But wouldn't that be easier than dealing with him killing himself or others?

Have you done was PP said and spoke to him whilst sober?

You mention it's only lately he's been going out drinking after work. Is there a reason for that? Could you take his keys and let him get bus/train/tram/tube to and from work?

Not that it makes a difference but how long is the drive? How many is he having? Personally I wouldn't have any drink then drive, I never even drive on a hangover just in case.

For me (and I'm not saying you should do this) I would leave him. I could not be with someone who had so little disregard for whoever he could potentially hurt.

Grilledaubergines · 16/04/2017 02:44

YANBU at all. I wouldn't hesitate. He will, unless stopped, seriously injure or kill someone. If he doesn't value his own life, that's his choice. but a drink driver doesn't value the lives of anyone and he needs reporting.

Original poster

laurel19 · 16/04/2017 02:59

I have talked to him about it whilst sober and he blew it off. He said he only has 2 or 3 drinks and just needs to relax after work. But when he drinks he almost always comes home slurring and stumbling. He even puked in the bed a few days ago. Is that consistent with 2 or 3?

OP posts:

AcrossthePond55 · 16/04/2017 03:05

Do it. The life you save may be his.

IAmAmy · 16/04/2017 03:07

No. Drink drivers kill. I would report anyone I knew who drink drove. I would report my parents if they did it.

This is the result of drink driving: www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2017/apr/13/drink-drive-soldier-jailed-for-causing-deaths-of-teenage-girls

LemonsAndLollies · 16/04/2017 03:07

He even puked in the bed a few days ago. Is that consistent with 2 or 3?

Not even remotely.

HappenedForAReisling · 16/04/2017 03:08

Two or 3 drinks (unless it's a pint of vodka each time) I wouldn't really notice, but most certainly would NOT be safe to drive.

I wouldn't be puking on those two or three drinks so I doubt he's telling you the truth there.

IAmAmy · 16/04/2017 03:09

It's not hard at all. Drink drivers kill people. If someone gets arrested for drink driving after being pulled over by the police, all they'll get is points. Save lives by reporting it WHOEVER you know does it.

IAmAmy · 16/04/2017 03:09

It doesn't matter how many drinks. Drink driving kills. Do not tolerate it whoever it is you know who does it. Please.

outofmydepth45 · 16/04/2017 03:10

He's being a disgusting selfish arse, ask him how he would feel if a drunk hit and killed someone he loved !

IAmAmy · 16/04/2017 03:10

Oh and by the way, no matter how many drinks he tells you he's had, if he kills someone whilst drink driving, he's going to prison for 3 years. Tell him that.

PyongyangKipperbang · 16/04/2017 03:15

Given that most people under estimate their own drinking by at least 50%, you can safely assume that 3 drinks is more likely 6.

Also, if he is having a pint and a couple of chasers then the spirits will hit him far quicker.

YANBU.

loaferloveforyou · 16/04/2017 03:22

2-3 drinks may be consistent if he never drinks and isn't used to alcohol. Would definitely be worried if he was driving then puking.

ohlittlepea · 16/04/2017 03:27

Yes tell the police. Is there a reason he's drinking like this?

FairytalesAreBullshit · 16/04/2017 03:40

All I can say is watch Catastrophe via Channel4 catch up, show you hubby what can happen, at which point he'd be royally fucked.

I could be understanding if it was 20 odd plus years ago, when it was ambiguous, I know family members who would go to the pub & get behind the wheel. In 2017 he should know better.

I've sat behind a drunk driver, you can just tell, at first you're keeping back and having a giggle with passengers, ooh slight bend BRAAAAKE, in all serious if it resulted in a RTA you wouldn't be laughing.

I always remember going to see a family friend, driving home, it was icy/snowy, this eejit was on more than alcohol, if we had been 5 seconds later the vehicle would have ended up on our windscreen, people died. So idiotic for the sake of a taxi.

I'd go down oh let's watch this, (Catastrophe S3 E6) hoping it sank into his skull, although if still defiant definitely report him. I think it's standard to get a driving ban, so how would that impact you / your household.

FurryElephant · 16/04/2017 04:00

Not unreasonable at all. Id like to think I'd report them if I was in your situation. Don't think I could live with the guilt if I didn't and something happened

IAmAmy · 16/04/2017 04:04

Please do report whoever does it. The cost of them being reported compared to what they could do is minor, for all concerned.

ADishBestEatenCold · 16/04/2017 04:26

It sounds as if he has a problem with alcohol. Even if it were just two or three drinks (and clearly it's not) the very fact that he is arguing about the unarguable in order to continue drinking, means he has a problem with alcohol.

How would he get to and from work if he didn't drive? Would he agree to leave the car at home?

Yes, I would report.

ADishBestEatenCold · 16/04/2017 04:31

" I think it's standard to get a driving ban, so how would that impact you / your household."

I think we have all probably wondered this ^ , when reading the OP, but actually it doesn't really matter how much a driving ban would impact on the household. It wouldn't impact as much as a death or a prison sentence.

SparklyUnicornPoo · 16/04/2017 04:38

YANBU, he could kill someone or himself, or both and you have tried talking some sense into him.

SpicyTomatos · 16/04/2017 04:55

Reporting him may benefit society, but it is unlikely to be so kind to your marriage. Especially if he ends up with a custodial sentence. I suggest another approach.

childoverdraft · 16/04/2017 05:05

If he has suddenly started drinking a lot you might want to try to work out why which could be a difficult conversation to have so maybe before you go down that route you should point out that if wants to have a drink after work he needs to find a better way of getting home.I would show him this.

www.drinkaware.co.uk/alcohol-facts/alcohol-and-the-law/drink-driving-penalties/?gclid=CLe7s--KqNMCFaIL0wodhYMMcQ

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