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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to ask how often everyone has nookie each week on average?

80 replies

MinesaProsecco · 12/04/2017 14:04

I work, have two kids, one dog, housework, meals....AIBU to want pyjama evenings rather than constant pressure from my lovely boyfriend to go to bed at 8.30 leaving the kids downstairs? Once a week is enough for me....he says I should be happy that he fancies and wants me but blimey...not every night!!! Or am I not normal? 🙄

OP posts:
FourEyesGood · 12/04/2017 14:07

Christ, every night? Hell, no.
Generally about once a month, to be honest. We have 2 children and both work, and we're nowhere near as young as we were...

FourEyesGood · 12/04/2017 14:09

By the way, I'd imagine that there's nothing less sexy than "constant pressure". If you only consent reluctantly, you're not really consenting.

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 12/04/2017 14:09

constant pressure from my lovely boyfriend to go to bed at 8.30 leaving the kids downstairs?

Give him a hard stare and tell him to back off.

SloanePeterson · 12/04/2017 14:10

Op, 'constant pressure' and 'lovely boyfriend' do not go together. For us, it's declined massively since I've had serious gynae issues. Dh has been fine with that as he truly is lovely. If he was pressuring me then I'd want it even less tbh.

MrsMeeseeks · 12/04/2017 14:11

He does not sound lovely.

AnchorDownDeepBreath · 12/04/2017 14:12

I'm happiest every morning and every evening but there's no pressure from either side...

Your boyfriend doesn't sound lovely.

HelgaHufflepuff76 · 12/04/2017 14:13

If your boyfriend has even the slightest inkling that you are not up for it on any occasion, then he needs to back the hell off and leave you alone.
It doesn't matter how often other couples do it, what matters is you do it when you want to.

Why are so many men sex pests?!

Titsywoo · 12/04/2017 14:14

Eww while the kids are still awake? Every night is a bit much when you have a young family and aren't 18 anymore or in the first 3 months of dating!

Twice a week for us and I think (from conversations had) that we do it more than a lot of our friends (all in late 30's and been together more than 10 years).

Original poster
MinesaProsecco · 12/04/2017 14:23

He is lovely but he doesn't understand how tired I get. I have suggested a couple of times a week and a date night without too much planning so life can be a bit impromptu but he sighed and asked me if I fancied him!! I'm tired even thinking about it......

OP posts:
luanabanana · 12/04/2017 14:23

Nookie? Grin

Anyone remember Nookie Bear?!

Pencilvester · 12/04/2017 14:25

he says I should be happy that he fancies and wants me

Ugh!

Original poster
MinesaProsecco · 12/04/2017 14:25

The kids are 17 and 14....so will probably question why I would disappear. Not a sexy basis for some hot loving...Confused

OP posts:
SalemSaberhagen · 12/04/2017 14:27

Nookie? Bleurgh.

MrsMeeseeks · 12/04/2017 14:30

You say that he doesn't understand how tired you get. Why do you think that is?

Karmin · 12/04/2017 14:30

I would say in general about 3 or 4 times a week, less if i'm tired.

Original poster
MinesaProsecco · 12/04/2017 14:31

I wrote nookie to make it feel more jovial....

OP posts:
TheElephantofSurprise · 12/04/2017 14:31

Why is the 'lovely' boyfriend in the house with your 17 and 14 year olds, if he is not their father? They know you and the newbie (it is a new-ish relationship, isn't it?) have sex and if you disappear to do it, you are really rubbing their noses in it, aren't you? I wonder why the boyfriend wants that? Are your children boys? Does the boyfriend feel the need to assert his ownership of you? What else is the boyfriend getting besides 'constant' sex? Are you funding him?

Those are the questions raised for me by your posts.

Original poster
MinesaProsecco · 12/04/2017 14:32

I tell him i am tired and he says it's because I'm always running around after the kids/dog walking/ work. I think be might be jealous that I don't put him first all the time. Hmmmmm......

OP posts:
MrsMeeseeks · 12/04/2017 14:33

Why is the 'lovely' boyfriend in the house with your 17 and 14 year olds, if he is not their father?

Seriously?

FanaticalFox · 12/04/2017 14:34

Ewww both old enough to know exactly what you're both doing! Gross. You need tk set some boundaries. I find it a massive turn off to be badgered for sex but some blokes think they're more likely to get it if they badger. Makes no sense!

Original poster
MinesaProsecco · 12/04/2017 14:35

He isn't their dad. Been with him 2 years. One girl/ one boy. I don't fund him and he is generous....esp in the bedroom dept. Maybe I just need to sit him down and talk about it much more honestly...

OP posts:
TheElephantofSurprise · 12/04/2017 14:36

Seriously?
Absolutely. It's a matter that many people should give more consideration. The house is the home of the young adult children. Why does the mother feel the need to conduct her sexual relationships in the home, where her children cannot remain unaware of them?

TheElephantofSurprise · 12/04/2017 14:38

Is he a lot younger than you, OP? Doesn't he understand that parents' sex lives aren't something teenagers want to know about?
[Glad he's not taking advantage in other ways]

BitOutOfPractice · 12/04/2017 14:38

Any man putting you under "constant pressure" for sex is a very very long way from "lovely". In fact, he's the exact opposite.

sunnysouthend · 12/04/2017 14:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.