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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

'You don't look disabled' - asking for your best comebacks.

104 replies

MycatsaPirate · 06/04/2017 13:15

I have a blue badge and drove to the shops today to get about 6 things. I parked in a disabled bay. A man in the passenger seat in the next car plus an older man in the car in front were both staring at me. The older man kept looking into his car and then back at me, he was saying something to the driver and then kept staring at me. They had just arrived and he wasn't moving away from the car. Clearly he was waiting for me to get out so he could lambast me for parking in a blue badge bay (and no he wasn't waiting for anyone else, as soon as I put the blue badge up and got out he walked off).

So I get this alot - you don't look disabled!

Well no, I probably don't because I have all my limbs and I assume that a vast majority of disabilities are invisible. So here are my best comebacks. Please share yours and feel free to steal any you like for future use!

  • Thank you! I try not to let my disability define me as a person.
  • oh! What DOES a disabled person look like?
  • Well, you don't look like you say stupid things but you just did! Looks are deceptive aren't they?

Frustrated with pain today - not grumpy - just tired.

OP posts:
BishopBrennansArse · 06/04/2017 13:16

You don't look stupid but hey ho...

thetemptationofchocolate · 06/04/2017 13:17

I was going to suggest '...and you don't look like an arsehole' but your version is much politer than mine :)

Gatehouse77 · 06/04/2017 13:17

"You don't look like an ignorant arse but I'll try not to judge you."

pinkie1982 · 06/04/2017 13:18

Love your third one, perfect

Batgirlspants · 06/04/2017 13:18

Think your own comebacks are the best op.

Bettyspants · 06/04/2017 13:19

Fancy a peek at my colostomy was a line a friend of mine used (this was in response to being told off for using the wheelchair loo) . I don't think I would be as prepared with a comeback!

MycatsaPirate · 06/04/2017 13:22

haha! Love the colostomy one! If I had one i'd pretty much be prepared to show it off to anyone who suggested I was 'faking it'.

I know that some parents with disabled dc get this as well. So you can sort of convert them to fit a child.

Another one - oooh! Are you a doctor then? Would you mind having a look at my piles please? Can't get an appointment at the GP at the moment!

OP posts:
user1488460762 · 06/04/2017 13:23

This once happened to my DM when she was alive, someone told her she didn't 'look' disabled and asked her what was 'wrong' with her. Her reply was 'tourettes you cunt now fuck off'. I was horrified and quickly ran inside the shop!

MaudesMum · 06/04/2017 13:23

One of my neighbours has a bumper sticker:

I don't look disabled, and you don't look stupid...

OhPuddleducks · 06/04/2017 13:23

Really? Because I could tell you were gobby and ignorant as soon as I clapped eyes on you. Run along....

OnionKnight · 06/04/2017 13:24

I've only been accused of not looking disabled once in my life, I said 'You don't look like a cunt but there we go'. For the record I have Cerebral Palsy as well as a severe hearing impairment. I realise that it's not obvious when I sit down but it doesn't take a genius to work it out when I'm standing upright.

The person just stood there gulping like a fish, realising that they'd fucked up.

mustiwearabra · 06/04/2017 13:24

As someone with an invisible chronic illness that causes me crippling pain, I have to say I've used thetemptationofchocolate's suggestion several times. Namely when I've felt like I was going to pass out on the bus due to pain and asked if someone would mind giving me their seat only to be told that I don't look sick.

Amockingjayhey · 06/04/2017 13:26

I just say "ok then"

I don't get into it

tabulahrasa · 06/04/2017 13:26

Look down at yourself in shock and go - it's a miracle!! I'm cured!!!

Reow · 06/04/2017 13:27

"Fuck off"

Pineapplemilkshake · 06/04/2017 13:44

Your arse is jealous of all the shit that's coming out of your mouth. The current favourite insult of my DS

OrangeIsTheNewPop · 06/04/2017 13:49

"And you don't look thick as pig shit- I guess looks CAN be deceiving!" 😂

JumpingJetFlash · 06/04/2017 13:50

And you didn't look like a fuckwit until you spoke, we live and learn don't we!

rightsofwomen · 06/04/2017 13:54

It would depend on how it was said.

If it was a child or someone just opening their gob w/o thinking I'd like to think I could use the opportunity to educate them and explain that not all disabilities are visible. You'd soon gauge whether they were open to being educated (akin to breastfeeding comments, I soon got wise as to who actually wanted to broaden their mind and who was being a twat).

If people are simply being rude I think I'd just be blunt and say "Not all disabilities are visible and I find you very rude".

If you feel able to make a good come back then maybe regard it as maybe helping those who do not have the courage (or can't be feckin' arsed) to speak up.

LadyPW · 06/04/2017 13:54

Look down at yourself in shock and go - it's a miracle!! I'm cured!!!
Grin

innagazing · 06/04/2017 13:56

Her reply was 'tourettes you cunt now fuck off'

Thank you- that's made my day!

ZoeWashburne · 06/04/2017 13:57

"Where did you get your medical degree?"

But I do like what you have written "what does a disabled person look like?" There is something very telling about turning around and calmly asking people to explain themselves and watch them perform verbal gymnastics.

trixymalixy · 06/04/2017 14:02

I said this to someone on facebook who was moaning about folk claiming disability who looked perfectly fine.

"Gosh, aren't you clever being able to tell just by looking. I'm sure a glittering career at ATOS awaits you."

Might go over some people's heads though!

UnbornMortificado · 06/04/2017 14:03

"I'm on day release"

It's a lie, I was never trusted enough for day release.

kali110 · 06/04/2017 14:10

unbornGrin thT's brilliant. Wish i had the confidence to use some of these Sad

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