'You don't look disabled' - asking for your best comebacks.

[MycatsaPirate]

I have a blue badge and drove to the shops today to get about 6 things. I parked in a disabled bay. A man in the passenger seat in the next car plus an older man in the car in front were both staring at me. The older man kept looking into his car and then back at me, he was saying something to the driver and then kept staring at me. They had just arrived and he wasn't moving away from the car. Clearly he was waiting for me to get out so he could lambast me for parking in a blue badge bay (and no he wasn't waiting for anyone else, as soon as I put the blue badge up and got out he walked off).

So I get this alot - you don't look disabled!

Well no, I probably don't because I have all my limbs and I assume that a vast majority of disabilities are invisible. So here are my best comebacks. Please share yours and feel free to steal any you like for future use!

• Thank you! I try not to let my disability define me as a person.
  

• oh! What DOES a disabled person look like?
  

• Well, you don't look like you say stupid things but you just did! Looks are deceptive aren't they?
  

Frustrated with pain today - not grumpy - just tired.

[mineofuselessinformation]

I've found 'if you think I'm doing anything wrong, report me' shuts them up (not my badge, dc's, and I do get fed up with the judge looks too, but I now wave the badge and point at it.

[muffinbluffer]

Barry actually I have to say I quite liked your reply and hopefully it gave that woman something to think about...it is remarkable, people's assumptions based solely on appearance...one girl once said to me 'you're too pretty to be ill' (though I'll forgive her we were only 17 at the time)....I have severe PTSD from very bad childhood amongst other physical disabilities and a therapist once said to me 'you don't look like you've had a hard life'

[Bumbumtaloo]

I've never had anyone actually say anything but quite often what happens is DH will be way ahead with our DD's so he will get them and/or any shopping into the car. On several occasions he has had people looking/getting worked up to say something and then they quickly disappear when I get close enough with my stick.

The other one is most probably the standard we pull up to a blue badge spot, every.single.time you can see the next car talking about us parking there, we are late 30's and it's usually much older people. When we put my badge up you can see them discussing it even more - I guess they think it belongs to a relative or something - when I get out of my car with my stick they literally turn their heads and refuse to look as we pass them.

Part of my many issues is extreme anxiety I have panic attacks even on the way to my mums house and rarely leave the house, mostly I go out for various medical appointments and my mums but probably about once a month I force myself to go out usually to the supermarket.

[MrsJayy]

I usually just go for a tut and a witty comebacks are usually wasted on arseholes.

[TheWitTank]

I've had a particularly pleasant individual storm up to me in the shop I used to work at furious that 'that ignorant boy over there is ignoring me! I've never seen such poor service!'. I calmly informed her that said "boy" is deaf and can't hear her (she was behind him) and offered to either help her myself or let him help her. She came out with the corker 'well, he doesn't LOOK deaf!' and stormed off . Twat.

[MycatsaPirate]

Some of the experiences on this thread are mindblowing. In a bad way. I can't believe someone said that about your DD Barry. I may have added to that, she has autism, she's not deaf!!

I have had to use a wheelchair on a couple of occasions, most notably on a day trip to London (never would have coped otherwise) and in a tank museum (where my dp and dd found it hilarious to park me up and then wander off) and I often found that to some wheelchair = unable to communicate.

Like, in a gift shop, trying to buy something and the person is talking to dp instead of me. It gave me a huge insight into what life must be like for those in a wheelchair permanently.

And I guess, for those who have questioned my op, it's because others were parking up and these two men weren't staring at them because they were a lot older than me. I think sometimes people forget that disability has no age discrimination and can hit anyone at any time.

[MycatsaPirate]

bum I can totally relate. My entire life revolves around my house, Dr's, hospital appointments and the supermarket. I only go to that one because I know my way around it very well and it's small. I can't cope with the big superstore, it's too much noise/people and I tend to panic and just leave. I need dp with me to even contemplate going to that store.

[muffinbluffer]

Mycat that reminds me of the times I've had to use a wheelchair...once I was in a queue in a shop and the cashier says 'next please' and the people behind me just walk straight past as if I didn't exist..so yes, permanently in a wheelchair must equal constant experiences like this.....

[JaxingJump]

I think this whole issue is lack of education and understanding. The disabled spots have the picture of a wheelchair on them so people who have never come across or experienced disability personally probably imagine it's for wheelchair users, or people on crutches or physically infirm people.

The spots themselves could do with putting up signs stating that not all disabilities are visible. Then I think you would find less people giving the death stare to people with invisible disabilities using the spots.

[Matildatoldsuchdreadfullies]

A few years ago after a swim, my mum took my dd into the disabled changing room. A life guard came along and told her v. firmly that this wasn't a family changing room. My mum pointed to my sister who was crawling (literally) along the poolside to reach her wheelchair. The woman was extremely apologetic, but as my sister said to her, actually, all she was doing was trying to keep the changing room free, and my sister was actually grateful.

I guess what I'm trying to say, OP, is this: the people who're actually at fault are the many people who think that a push chair is analogous to a wheelchair, or the queue is shorter for the disabled loo, or the disabled changing rooms are nicer, or there aren't any P & C parking spaces.... all excuses which I've heard being used.

[redpriestandmozart]

I haven't had to use it yet (probably do look bad most days) but I am waiting to use

'WOW thank you, I wear it well, you've made my day' big smile and walk off :)

[SeamstressfromTreacleMineRoad]

My friend who uses a wheelchair has a standard yell comment to anyone ignoring her (talking to her companion, walking past her etc). She just yells says, 'Oi - it's the legs that don't work, not the brain!' - the expressions on their faces are wonderful

[SheSaidHeSaid]

I'm terrible at quick thinking comebacks. The best I've managed, when I used a lift at a shopping centre (and so made a woman with a buggy have to wait for the next one), was to just say that I didn't realise I had to carry my medical records with me in order to use a lift. Pretty poor effort on my part!

[leighb23]

Oh, well done for not looking like you're mentally disabled.

My little boy has a brain condition, so I don't feel quite so bad about using this if I need to!!

[elkegel]

I'd just say, "Oh, thank you. Good! Unfortunately I am disabled though."
And if they enquire further "None of your business. Good bye."

[MessiIsTheBest]

Unfortunately for me I usually think of the comebacks when it's too late, but someone once accused my mother of misusing her (then orange) badge in a car park. She had Leukaemia and a shaved head and looked at death's door, because she was. A man in his 50s/60s approached and accused her of lying. This must be twenty years ago now but it still pisses me off when I think about it, he clearly had the intellectual capacity of a bog brush. You'd think someone that age would know better but other examples on this thread prove otherwise

[InvisibleKittenAttack]

While many of these are funny, the sort of people who challenge disabled people might not be the most likely to react well to an insult back, so I'd go with your first suggestion - basically mistake the challenge as a compliment.

I tend to find mistaking insults as compliments or concern works well, it wrong foots the tossers long enough to walk away.

[Batgirlspants]

user that's bloody hilarious

[FemelleReynard]

Her reply was 'tourettes you cunt now fuck off'

The best one! Brilliant. Thanks for making me laugh.

[LovingLola]

Am I reading it wrong? Once the OP put the blue badge on display the man walked off. So there was no conversation about whether or not she looks disabled. My guess is that he would have said something if she had not displayed the blue badge .

But maybe I am reading it wrong so ignore me it that's the case.

[Writerwannabe83]

I wear a medical alert because I have epilepsy and I once had this conversation with a woman....

Woman: why do you wear a medical alert necklace?

Me: Because I have epilepsy.

Woman gasped: No?! You wouldn't think it to look at you!

Me: What do you mean?

Woman: Well you're pretty and seem so normal.

Me: Well I was going to get the word 'Epileptic' tattooed on my forehead to warn people about my condition but my boss wouldn't let me."

I smiled sweetly whilst she looked horrified

[PinkDaffodil2]

You don't look like an ignorant cunt...

[Bumbumtaloo]

MycatsaPirate yes, I have a select number of shops I go to and 'build' myself up to going to one of them. Once I'm there I'm usually okay as long as nobody randomly talks to me that's a whole other thread

[NotCitrus]

Only used this one once:
"Ooh, which hospital do you work at?" (they look confused)
"You must be a very eminent neurologist to diagnose me on the spot and have a different opinion to all the other medical experts. Can I be referred to you? Please? Please?"

I think the reply was "Fuck off."