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AIBU?

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Original poster

To go on our honeymoon without DC?

91 replies

blueberrymojito · 05/04/2017 21:05

What are people's thoughts on going on a honeymoon without DC aged 8 whilst they stay with grandparents?

AIBU to want to have a child free week away or would it be unfair to leave DC for that length of time?

OP posts:
BloomingDaffodil · 05/04/2017 21:06

Sounds perfect to me

RainbowsAndUnicorn · 05/04/2017 21:11

I think marriage after children should include them, by that point it's mainly for legal purposes.

Leeds2 · 05/04/2017 21:13

I couldn't do it, but I wouldn't think badly of anyone who did. As long as the child/ren also had a holiday, maybe not as grand, that year.

hideehigh · 05/04/2017 21:14

Of course it's ok. Myself and DH go away every year without DC- it's fab. The DC get to spend time with GPS (who they love) and we get quality couple time. Do it!

Lovewineandchocs · 05/04/2017 21:14

YANBU it's your honeymoon! Provided the DC get on well with grandparents, also that the grandparents can manage them and it won't be disruptive to school etc I think that's totally fine.

ClaireH26 · 05/04/2017 21:18

Got married when our DDs were 4 and 10 months. Went to NYC for 4 days without them and it was bliss! No the marriage was not just on paper or a formality, we were newlyweds (with children admittedly) but we still wanted time together just us. Personally I find I miss the kids way too much to go away for a week, longest I've done without them was 6 days and I said never again but every family is different and your kids are older. Book a nice family holiday too when you can afford it but keep your honeymoon just you and DH if that's what you want. Congrats on the wedding!

Hairyfairy01 · 05/04/2017 21:20

Of course not. We went on honeymoon for 2 weeks when kids were 2 and 5. It was great!

UppityHumpty · 05/04/2017 21:29

I agree with Rainbowsandunicorns. You've already had sex. You've already lived together. You have kids. A house. You were committed before signing the paperwork. So there's nothing more special about a honeymoon than any other family. You're basically just having a holiday without the kids. Nothing wrong with it, but I personally would have treated this like a family holiday.

Obviouspretzel · 05/04/2017 21:31

Why does a marriage have to be reduced to a mere legal formality just because you have kids? Confused

froofroomcgoo · 05/04/2017 21:32

I can't until DS is old enough to be left so we can go on holiday just us! Honeymoon or not! (We're already married)

budgiegirl · 05/04/2017 21:42

We've had several holidays without the DC over the years , the longest was 10 days.

If your DD has a good relationship with her grandparents, I expect she'll have a blast with them, and get spoilt rotten.

If you want a childfree holiday, have one. Don't feel guilty, or that it's unfair on your DD.

CookieWarbler · 05/04/2017 21:46

YANBU. We're about to do the same Smile
One DD aged 8 who will be with Grandparents and a DSD who will be with her Mum. We can't wait to go away by ourselves but are planning on a big family holiday with all of us next year. To the previous poster who said 'you've already had sex' well, so have pretty much everyone who's got married - why wouldn't you want a child free honeymoon if you can?
Go for it OP and enjoy Wink

SheSaidHeSaid · 05/04/2017 21:48

My friends did similar except there DS was 5 at the time. Everyone was absolutely fine & DS had a great time with nanny.

JustHereForThePooStories · 05/04/2017 21:50

If you have your kids at your wedding, you may as well bring them on the honeymoon.

Mrsglitterfairy · 05/04/2017 21:52

I think marriage after children should include them, by that point it's mainly for legal purposes.
Bollocks!!
I was with DH for 10 years and had 2 kids by the time we married. And it was not for legal purposes, it was because we wanted to be married. We had put it off for years due to not having the money and other things coming up.
And yes we did go on a weeks honeymoon without our 5 & 8 yr old DCs.

Twinchaos1 · 05/04/2017 21:52

We are planning a holiday without DC, aged 8 this year while they stay with DG. They can't wait and we are looking forward to it as well. It isn't even a honeymoon, enjoy yours without guilt.

Mamabear14 · 05/04/2017 21:53

We are going to do a long weekend without the kids and then a week with. Just because we already have kids doesn't make us any less newlywed. It will be the first and likely last for a very long time we will be away without them.

Toast3 · 05/04/2017 21:55

I looked after my grandchildren when my son and his wife went on holiday. They had a lovely time. So did I ...... go, have fun ....

MirandaWest · 05/04/2017 21:59

When DH and I went on honeymoon, my DC stayed with their dad and his DS was at university.

AnyFucker · 05/04/2017 22:00

YWBU to take them Smile

khajiit13 · 05/04/2017 22:02

I didn't take my DC on honeymoon. I didn't want a family holiday. I wanted time with my husband, just the two of us, something we didn't get all that much of since DS arrived. We had an amazing time without him and I would do it again!

HopefullyAnonymous · 05/04/2017 22:02

We're doing the same later this year, DCs 9 & 5 staying with grandparents. Our marriage is not a "formality " Hmm

altiara · 05/04/2017 22:12

YANBU!!!! Enjoy yourselves.

sailorcherries · 05/04/2017 23:08

I agree with Rainbowsandunicorns. You've already had sex. You've already lived together. You have kids. A house. You were committed before signing the paperwork. So there's nothing more special about a honeymoon than any other family. You're basically just having a holiday without the kids. Nothing wrong with it, but I personally would have treated this like a family holiday.

What about people who have had sex, lived together and bought a house? Are they in that same boat?
What about people who have had sex, lived together and had kids but not bought a house?
What about people who have lived together, had sex but not bought a house?

Why does owning a property and/or giving birth suddenly dimish a marriage to a meer 'formality'?
What about those who never want to own a house or have children? Is their wedding a formality also?

Enjoy your honeymoon OP, go without the children. One holiday they don't attend will not harm them.

Biffsboys · 05/04/2017 23:20

Absolutely go and enjoy your holiday ! I'm jealous , my dparents would have my ds for us to go away no problem but he struggles to spend even 1 night away from us Envy

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