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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To go on our honeymoon without DC?

91 replies

blueberrymojito · 05/04/2017 21:05

What are people's thoughts on going on a honeymoon without DC aged 8 whilst they stay with grandparents?

AIBU to want to have a child free week away or would it be unfair to leave DC for that length of time?

OP posts:
Coffeetasteslikeshit · 06/04/2017 09:36

If you have your kids at your wedding, you may as well bring them on the honeymoon.

This has made me laugh. I don't know about everyone else, but DH and I had a traditional honeymoon, iyswim, that would have been severely curtailed by the presence of our DC. It was a million miles from the family day that was our wedding.

thethoughtfox · 06/04/2017 11:14

Leave plenty of cash with grandparents so they can spoil dc rotten.

Wordsmith · 06/04/2017 20:42

A honeymoon with kids?! Perish the thought! Of COURSE you should go on your own!

belgina · 06/04/2017 20:50

Of course not. Especially at that age. I wouldn't think twice about it! We did take our kids for various reasons, but mainly because they were tiny and I couldn't leave them. At the age of 8, it would have been a no-brainer.

Nessie100 · 06/04/2017 20:53

We are going away next wk. 7 whole nights without them & I cannot flippin wait!!!!!!!

Do what you want, people will always judge either way. I havn't had a holiday since I was pregnant with first 1 5 yrs ago. I now have 2, 4 & 1

Scottishchick39 · 06/04/2017 20:58

We got married recently after nearly 20 years together, our kids are 15 and 4 and they are both coming on our 'familymoon' in the summer. It's not that we couldn't have left them it's just we don't want to. When our oldest was 2 we went away together for a week and it was awful, seeing all the other kids running around really upset me and I vowed never to do it again. They have had holidays abroad with their grandparents without us but I can't holiday in a family resort without them. However, I am going away with the girls for a few days this year and that is fine as it's not a kid friendly holiday.

NeverNic · 06/04/2017 21:00

It's a honeymoon. If you took the kids, it's a family holiday!!

I have taken two short breaks without the kids with my husband and feel no guilt about it. Yes we missed them loads, but it was good for us and for them to spend some time with gps. Really I think a honeymoon should be a really, special time as indulgent as you can afford / want. If you happen to want your children there then do that, but it's up to you. If it was up to me, I'd say run off to a sun lounger with a best seller and a cocktail, with no interruptions and only one tiny beach bag!

willconcern · 06/04/2017 21:07

Of course you go by yourselves. I totally disagree with unicorns and uppity. Children do not have to be involved in everything! Your relationship with your husband is just as important, after all the kids will leave one day, but hopefully he won't!

I also disagree with jayne. When DH & I got married, we went on honeymoon on our own, without my DCs. They went on holiday with their dad at the same time. We explained that a honeymoon is a holiday for the couple who got married, and only them. We are going on a family holiday in the summer.

Go on honeymoon without the DCsupport, OP, if that'suits what you want to do!

willconcern · 06/04/2017 21:08

Oops, that "support" slipped in from nowhere. Should say go on holiday without your DCs...

Starfish28 · 06/04/2017 22:29

I'm finding the judgment on this thread ridiculous. Of course you can go away on honeymoon without your child.

saturdaymorningyawn · 06/04/2017 22:31

We did it. Out DD was 16 months. We only went for a few nights in the Uk. But it was lovely to have some time together. Probably the last time it will happen for the next 16 years!

Scholes34 · 06/04/2017 22:35

Just tell them you can't afford the fine for their unauthorised absence from school, so they'll have to stay at home.

Unmarriedhousewife · 06/04/2017 23:06

Haha some views!!
Go on your child free honeymoon OP, lay in, have breakfast in bed, have shit loads of sex (unless it's too boring because you've obviously already done it loads and you're just getting married for a legal formality)
Connect with your new husband.
I've been with my DP 10 years, we have 3 children, when we get married I'd love a child free honey moon. We'd behave no different to other newly weds because we love each other no less..

BamBamDoDo · 06/04/2017 23:16

I would take them. I wouldn't want to be away without them. Sharing it together would be special HOWEVER if you don't want to .... don't feel guilty for it! Make the decision ... stick with it. Just because one person wouldn't it doesn't mean you shouldn't. We're all different for good reason.

Gilly12345 · 07/04/2017 06:47

I wouldn't want to leave my child/ren for a honeymoon, you will have had a wedding and all the planning etc and the cost of it all, why leave them out? They are being short changed unless they are having a decent holiday with the grandparents, I would prefer to have a break in the UK for honeymoon and take them and next year go abroad altogether.

1stMrsF · 07/04/2017 08:09

I think it is up to you and your children. Personally, I would struggle to spend that long away from mine, but that's me and mine and even I would be pretty tempted to go for a short break for a honeymoon. At 8 they are old enough to understand the concept that a honeymoon is a special holiday that is just for the newlyweds I.e. understand that they are not merely being excluded from their usual holiday. Some friends recently went on a grown ups only holiday for a week and we had their kids to stay over for a few nights (they spent other nights with aunties) and I would say that whilst on Skype with Mum they were completely fine and seemed to be having a ball, they were not that happy at other times and really missed their parents. So maybe bear in mind that they will really miss you and you need some special time with them when you get back, not straight into school/work/normal routine if possible?

EdmundCleverClogs · 07/04/2017 08:22

Laughing at the old fuddies on here 'you've had sex/children, marriage has lost all meaning, hoity sniff'. It's like getting married is going to prison, and a two week holiday is just bail before your sentence starts Hmm.

Yanbu at all. I don't think you should make a big song and dance about it to the children, just say a honeymoon is only for grown ups (which it really is, a free week with your husband in a hotel room - that's not 'child friendly' Wink). Have a great time!

BillyNotQuiteNoMates · 07/04/2017 10:23

I did it, go for it. Congratulations on getting married, and have a fabulous honeymoon!
(Obviously I'd make sure that my child liked the people I was leaving them with, but assuming that they get on well, they'll have a great time)

meganorks · 07/04/2017 10:51

We had 2 by our honeymoon and much younger. We were thinking maybe we could do a week without and a week with. But in the end we disn't think we could leave the youngest that long (just over 1). We had a two week holiday with the kids and a few months later 3 nights away on our own.

With one 8 year old I would do it. So long as they wouldn't be too upset about it.

ILoveDolly · 07/04/2017 12:33

I think a break without the kids should ideally be a regular thing! We went away for 4 days for our 10th anniversary, it was a holiday just for us as a couple. Lovely.
You can't be spontaneous or romantic or sexy very easily with the children right there.
In fact I would think it a bit odd to take children on a honeymoon.
Enjoy some couple time.

llangennith · 07/04/2017 12:42

What is it with parents who can't bear to be away from their DC for more than an hour?? Hmm
Go ahead and have a lovely adults only honeymoon and I'm sure your DC will be quite happy with their grandparents.

BaldricksTrousers · 07/04/2017 12:46

Age 8???? As in years, not weeks? What is the problem here?

Go go go go

For your marriage and your sanity

BaldricksTrousers · 07/04/2017 12:48

I do seriously wonder about the people who cannot leave their older dc for a week with trusted relatives...or would want to take kids on a romantic trip. Kids get the best of us anyway, we spend our lives caring for them and giving them all we can. Take the week off!!

PunjanaTea · 07/04/2017 13:02

Ignore the naysayers and go on your childfree honeymoon!

I'm actually surprised at how many people think you should take them, it's not like you're planning to leave them alone with a well stocked fridge and a pizza delivery number!!

WankingMonkey · 07/04/2017 13:09

We did this. DC loved it at grandads. They were younger though, 2 and 4.

We also did it again this year to celebrate our first anniversary. We will be going on a family holiday later in the year too so the kids still get to go somewhere.

Soooo peaceful being child free. I felt a bit guilty to start with mind.

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