To go on our honeymoon without DC?

[blueberrymojito]

What are people's thoughts on going on a honeymoon without DC aged 8 whilst they stay with grandparents?

AIBU to want to have a child free week away or would it be unfair to leave DC for that length of time?

to the comment that mentioned if the children are step children then you should take them.... what a strange comment. This is my second marriage and my children came on my first honeymoon with their dad because it worked for us . I am remarrying this year and am having a honeymoon without my children, the children do not miss out as have been on a 3 week holiday to florida last year and they will not feel left out as they do everything else with us.

It will be a nice opportunity for us to have some child free time because the children have been with us for the whole of our relationship. most couples have some years to holiday before children come along.

I also think it is healthy to put your relationship first sometimes. I used to feel guilty for wanting time without the kids but it makes for a healthy relationship, the children also need to see their parents in love and happy/refreshed around them

When our oldest was 2 we went away together for a week and it was awful, seeing all the other kids running around really upset me

scottishchick seeing this would make me think 'thank god i can just relax on my sunbed with a book and a cocktail'!!

We went on a three day honeymoon without our DC (2yo and 8mo), then again the next year for 11 days for a 'big' birthday. My parents were very happy to look after them on both occasions and we had a bloody brilliant time. We still try to go away every year for 3 or 4 nights. I don't think they've suffered any long term effects, but who knows...

And BTW, our wedding day was every bit as special to us as a couple who've never had sex or lived together.

Some really judgemental and weird comments on here. Not all family set ups are traditionally linear these days, y'know. Just because things happen in a different order sometimes doesn't mean the love between the newlyweds is any less meaningful and doesn't need nurturing and time alone!

Just wanted to add my vote to the go without the kids camp! We did and I don't regret it!

Ours are 16 and won't be coming with us on ours. If we'd have got married at any time since they were born they wouldn't have come on honeymoon with us then either.

We don't come away with them when they go away with school, and we won't be going with them when they inevitably want to go on a lads' holiday with friends, why is it different for a honeymoon?

We aren't joined at the hip with them, we have independent lives. We go on holiday with them at other times.

Also, we go away for a week without them every year (usually when they go and visit their other grandparents abroad) and every time we see kids being dragged round or causing trouble, I just sit back and feel relieved that I can relax on the beach with a cocktail and my book.

DH & I are going away for 5 days next month and I feel no guilt whatsoever and shock horror thats without having another holiday booked with the DC.

My son was 9 months when we got married and we went away for 3 days. It was blissful and DS probably didn't even notice we were gone as in pretty sure he prefers being with his grandparents anyway! A honeymoon is about you and your new husband/wife. Just because you already have children does not make your day any less special or a formality and I don't think it should mean you should take your kids on your honeymoon. Wouldn't be a honeymoon if the kids are there! I hope you enjoy your wedding day and have a really lovely honeymoon x

I think you should go and enjoy yourselves. If you're the type to ask if it's ok, then you're probably the type of person who worries about that sort of thing and thus you put your child first. Have a lovely time.

Do what you feel comfortable with and to hell what anyone thinks - whatever it is you feel happy to do.

We had an 1 week honeymoon in SE Asia when our (then only) DC was 3 yrs old. He stayed with both his grandma's together at our house and had a whale of a time. We had the most amazing week. However DH had originally wanted us to go away for 2 weeks and I hadn't felt comfortable with leaving DC for that long or with putting that responsibility on our mums for that length of time. Thats not a judgement - just making the point that it has to be about what you, DH and grandparents mutually feel will be OK.

Another thing...to be honest, it would have been a comply different holiday with DCs in tow. We stayed in a 5 star beach hotel in Thailand and it was cocktails and massages ago-go. Not do-able with little ones about

Take it from someone who went on honeymoon with not only two children but the mil and fil, GO ON YOUR OWN! Although we did have a good time it certainly wasn't the romantic get-away I was hoping for :)

@MsVestibule I'm am so not the type of person that can't bear to be without her kids 24/7, we've had weekends away to see shows or sightseeing but as soon as I saw young kids playing by the pool with their parents while my DD was thousands of miles away it broke my heart. The evenings/nights drinking cocktails were great I must admit but it was the during the day that it hit me hard.

We solved the problem by going on holiday for years with my parents and MIL, best of both worlds. We got all the fun during the day with our kids but they'd spend the night with their grandparents. It hasn't worked out for our honeymoon though as I can cope with the kids but not parents/in law on our honeymoon lol.

We've booked a holiday with a kids club and also a babysitting service (teatime) so that the youngest can go there some days and the oldest can either come with us or she can FaceTime her friends. Win win 😃

YANBU
This time should be about you as a romantic couple. Make memories together that are just about your relationship with each other that you will be able to look back on.
You have the rest of your lives to devote to your kids so take a week for yourselves. They are old enough for it not to be too much of an issue.
I think a honeymoon is supposed to strengthen you as a married couple. That will benefit your children in the long run.

We took ours but only because youngest was 5 months (and grandparents were definitely not volunteering!). I think couple holidays are healthy - you need to be strong together to be a strong family and sometimes being mum and dad all the time can make you forget about the couple side.

If they're staying with people they love who love them I can't see how it's a problem.

Thanks for all the replies...Honeymoon is getting booked this weekend! Child free

And to whoever said marriage is just a formality at this stage, I can assure you it is not! We're no different to any other married couple, children or not. It's quite sad that some people think that's the case though.

We do go away for the weekend quite regularly and DC love it, so I'm sure they'll be fine for a week!

We did this for our 10th anniversary - it was great! Kids were 7 and 5 and actually at school as we married in Sept. My parents stayed at ours and took them to school, helped with homework etc. We Skyped each evening but really enjoyed our time as a couple.

We got married last year and my DS was 8 at the time. We did take him with us but that was mainly because we couldn't afford to take him abroad before that and we didn't want to go without ever taking him! However, my parents had offered to have him and if the situation had of been different we definetly would have gone alone!