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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not let my mum come over with a cold sore?

106 replies

Placeanditspatrons · 31/03/2017 10:04

She is slightly offended but dd 15 months and ds (7) have never had one.
She says it's tiny and healed - I'm still not convinced.

Would you let someone in with a coldsore? Aibu?

OP posts:
Bubblysqueak · 31/03/2017 10:06

Of course. It's not going to leap off her face and attack the dc. Just insure no hugging and kissing.

gleam · 31/03/2017 10:06

No. I had the same with my mum when mine were little. My mum was mortally offended, of course, but I wasn't going to risk it.

gleam · 31/03/2017 10:07

Bubbly, my mum would have 'forgotten' and kissed the kids anyway.

Original poster
Placeanditspatrons · 31/03/2017 10:10

I just think it's so easy to forget and touch your face isn't it?
Also dd tends to have a thing for putting her hand on people's faces and in their mouths. She likes to poke people in the eye! If my mum is sat down she may well toddle over and attack without warning!

OP posts:
floraeasy · 31/03/2017 10:11

Would you let someone in with a coldsore?

It's not the Black Plague Grin

Seriously, though, if YOU get a coldsore or if your mum had one when you were growing up - would you send the kids away somewhere for their safety?

Kids are going to get all sorts when they start school - it's part of building up an immune system.

I am not saying your mum shouldn't be careful with her coldsore, but she doesn't need to go into quarantine either.

BagittoGo · 31/03/2017 10:13

Tell her to come over in a couple of days. Once coldsore turns into a cut it's no longer contagious and actually if your 7 yo old hasn't had one yet it could be he doesn't have the herpes virus.

QuestionableMouse · 31/03/2017 10:14

Bit mean to ban your mum because of a small coldsore. You both just need to be a bit careful.

RestlessTraveller · 31/03/2017 10:16

I fear for your child's attendance rate when she starts school.

Looneytune253 · 31/03/2017 10:16

I get them all the time and no one in my house have ever caught them. I'm a childminder too and never had a little one get it either. Just make sure she doesn't kiss your little one and you'll be fine. To be fair though, on the off chance they do catch one, it wouldn't be the end of the world.

TiredCluelessMummy · 31/03/2017 10:18

YANBU. I agree that it's very difficult indeed to guarantee that nobody will touch her face or that she will remember not to touch her mouth at all. Far simpler to just postpone the visit until it's completely healed.

I don't think you can draw a comparison with a mother having a coldsore being in contact with her own small children. Obviously the practicalities and implications of a mother leaving a 15 month old for an extended period of time are entirely different than a visiting grandparent who could just simply come another day.

Screwinthetuna · 31/03/2017 10:18

YABU. If your mum gets them, chances are you have the virus too, like 90% of the population.
She's even said it's healed...I would have just reminded her not to kiss them.
Your DS probably shares water bottles with other kids all the time at school and will have the virus anyway. The story in the daily mail about the newborn dying is very, very rare and they were a lot younger than your kids. My dr said (when I had 5 in one go that popped up right after feeding DS off my spoon) most kids are exposed as a young child and have no initial infection sores or illness, they just harbour it and might never break out in cold sores in their life. I got my first at 19, even though my mum gets cold sores allllll the time and would take no special precautions in me not catching it as a kid as this was before all the germ phobia.

Original poster
Placeanditspatrons · 31/03/2017 10:19

No but they are miserable aren't they? And apparently the younger they catch them the worse it is...

OP posts:
floraeasy · 31/03/2017 10:19

Coldsores are weird things.

Neither of my parents had them.

Neither did my siblings.

But I got them a lot. Then grew out of it.

I wasn't banished from the family home for it.

Obviously, I used my own towel, etc. Basic measures.

GreatFuckability · 31/03/2017 10:20

YABU. and a bit mental.

BrexistentialDespair · 31/03/2017 10:21

She can pick up compeed patches from the chemist which will cover the cold sore and form a barrier so she's not likely to spread it. Could you suggest those? Banning seems rather draconian.

ShowMePotatoSalad · 31/03/2017 10:23

I agree. She doesn't need to pop in today does she? I don't understand why she's so offended. Not very supportive of her and a bit selfish. If it were me id say "I don't want to give my grandkids a cold sore - I'll see you when it's gone".

School is different - education is so important and you can't avoid school all the time for illnesses etc. But if it can be avoided then it should be.

Wishiwasmoiradingle2017 · 31/03/2017 10:24

Has your dm got a big winter coat? She could have her coffee in the garden and chat through the window?? BrewGrin

deai · 31/03/2017 10:27

I have a 4 week old baby atm and a cold sore, dr just said not to kiss him or touch it then touch him. So im sure your 1 and 7 year olds will be fine. Get her to wear a compeed patch but honestly your 7 yo probably has the virus already

Original poster
Placeanditspatrons · 31/03/2017 10:27

Is it more or less offensive to make her converse through the window? Grin

We were going to go out the the afternoon and she was going to have dd for an hour whilst I took ds to an appointment after school.

OP posts:
pinkbraces · 31/03/2017 10:30

Seriously, this is a thing now? Your mum can't visit because she has a cold sore? I didn't think preciousness could surprise me anymore, but you haveHmm

floraeasy · 31/03/2017 10:32

Is it more or less offensive to make her converse through the window?

LOL, OP!

memyselfandaye · 31/03/2017 10:36

Your Mum gets coldsores yet here you are, still alive.

I presume she raised you from a baby?

Allthewaves · 31/03/2017 10:37

I use colds sore patches. Clear film so doesn't matter when dc leap and kiss me

SockQueen · 31/03/2017 10:43

I currently have a huge one under my nose. Unfortunately DS is still EBF and refuses bottles, so I can't pack him off anywhere. I'm just being as careful as I can with hygiene and dodging his usual face grabbing.

Original poster
Placeanditspatrons · 31/03/2017 10:48

Yes I have told her about the patches. They are meant to help anyway aren't they?

I appreciate I am still alive but I think not wanting my children to get a load of uncomfortable sores when it could be prevented isn't precious!

OP posts:
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