Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not let my mum come over with a cold sore?

106 replies

Placeanditspatrons · 31/03/2017 10:04

She is slightly offended but dd 15 months and ds (7) have never had one.
She says it's tiny and healed - I'm still not convinced.

Would you let someone in with a coldsore? Aibu?

OP posts:
MagentaRocks · 03/04/2017 07:39

My mum had cold sores when I was a baby. She didn't kiss me when she had one and was careful. I've never had a core sore in my life so it doesn't mean you will get a cold sore from being with someone who has one.

JustSpeakSense · 03/04/2017 07:45

YAB completely U!

pippitysqueakity · 03/04/2017 07:49

My DH developed a cold sore which came up exactly as DD1 was born, probably stress related. He was careful, as you would be and neither of the DDs nor I have had one in over 13 years, although he has had a few.
I hope your poor DM is ok, she sounds like she might be a bit run down to have a cold and a cold sore to deal with. Not to mention being treated like Typhoid Mary...

Original poster
Placeanditspatrons · 03/04/2017 07:53

Yeah well seeing your baby fight for her life when she was born can do that to you...

The primary infection of the herpes virus often isn't just a cold sore in toddlers, it can be quite nasty.

OP posts:
llhj · 03/04/2017 08:06

You sound a totally unhinged tbh. Visit your GP for advice about your anxieties, not normal.

Papafran · 03/04/2017 08:10

Nice bit o' dripfeeding in your latest post. Sorry to hear and that would explain your anxiety then, but your children will be exposed to more germs than you can imagine at nursery/school and there is nothing you can do to stop it.

rubbbleonthedouble · 03/04/2017 08:15

It's a cold sore. Not the plague.

You are being really precious over it.

Of course you and your mum can prevent a child coming into contact with it. Practice good hygiene and no kissing.

VintagePerfumista · 03/04/2017 17:34

Did you forget to mention that slightly momentous piece of information in your OP, OP?

People may have been more sympathetic from the start about your obvious health anxiety if you had.

Hmm
Bloosh · 03/04/2017 17:43

I think it's fine to ask your mum to stay away. I get them. Am obsessive about hand washing etc around my kids when I do. But most people are nowhere near as careful.

Therealslimshady1 · 03/04/2017 18:04

I am paranoid about cold sores!

Would hate my kids to have them, you would not wish it on anyone.

usernjdhkvdgkb · 03/04/2017 18:34

YABVU I had my first cold sore when my first dd was just weeks old since then I have had 3 more children and lots of cold sores and none of them have ever caught one

Just just need to be sensible no kissing

I thought you were going to say you a premature newborn with low immunity or something

joannegrady90 · 03/04/2017 18:39

Your toddler is not a baby op, as in a defenseless week old baby. If he were to catch one he would be fine. Mine caught one about 6 months old, by accident I couldn't even feel the tingling.

Get a grip and into the real world!

Sparklingbrook · 03/04/2017 18:40

That is a rather large dripfeed there.

You need to talk about your anxiety with a HCP.

gameofchance · 03/04/2017 18:44

I don't see what's wrong with covering them up with the special patches. It does help prevent accidental touching / transmission. I occasionally get cold sores. I hate them and I am doing everything possible to prevent DC getting them too. But this doesn't mean banning people from the house - just being careful

grannytomine · 03/04/2017 18:48

I have cold sores and am paranoid about not passing them on. My husband, 4 kids and 4 GC have shown no signs of having them, although you can be asymptomatic. As I understand it people are more likely to pass them on when they don't have an outbreak as you know not to kiss when you have a sore (well hopefully you do) but you can shed the virus without having a sore and that is when people pass them on. For that reason I never kiss anyone on the lips other than DH, I'm afraid its an occupation hazard for him as he married me knowing about them so it was a risk he signed up for but the kids/GC didn't.

TotalPineapple · 03/04/2017 19:01

My mum gets them (and has all my life) and neither me, my dad, or my brother have them, so it's totally possible to not pass it on.

(Didn't stop me shouting 'don't kiss the baby' every five minutes when she was near my PFB, but I did let her near)

Majorgoodwinschickenbeatstrump · 03/04/2017 19:26

You are being way over the top in my honest opinion. One day you will want your mum's company, don't throw it away whilst you have it over stupid things.

Tinkerbec · 03/04/2017 19:31

You are being way over the top in my honest opinion. One day you will want your mum's company, don't throw it away whilst you have it over stupid things.

This!!!!

Also tge advice to see a GP. Yes

You are BU. Understandly to a point but still U.

kingscrossnoodle · 03/04/2017 19:36

Omg is this for real?

elodie2000 · 03/04/2017 19:43

DH always gets cold sores, always has. DC (teens) have never had one.
He also looked after them on his own when they were little at the same time as having coldsores and they survived.

givemestrengthorgin · 03/04/2017 19:45

My doctor told me that almost all children have been exposed to the cold sore virus by the time they are 18 months. Some get coldsores to varying degrees, some won't display a cold sore until later in life and some will never have any symptoms despite carrying the virus.

PuppyMonkey · 03/04/2017 19:53

You do know that now I've read this thread about cold sores I am almost 100% guaranteed to get a cold sore in the next 24 hours. That's the way it usually works with me, never mind your mum visiting.

notanothernamechangebabes · 03/04/2017 20:00

I'm sorry to be the one to tell you this OP... If you used to get cold sores (as you say upthread)- you too carry the virus.

You could have passed it on to your children at any time since they were born- they simply haven't shown any symptoms yet. And possibly never will.

Please do speak to someone about health anxiety though. It's a miserable condition and you sound a bit like you may be suffering from it.

elektrawoman · 03/04/2017 20:20

I think YABU, just ask her to wear a compeed patch, you could say it's in case the DCs accidentally knock it.
Yes the majority of the population (think it's about 70%) carry the virus but only some people come out in cold sores, no-one knows why.
DD gets them, usually caused by stress or illness. Neither I or DH or the other DCs get them. I presume we are probably carriers but just don't come out in the cold sores. She attends school when she has one but she knows not to touch it or share drinks etc.
They are horrible things but it's just a fact of life, I don't know where she got it from. of course I'd rather she didn't get them but the alternative would be to have kept her away from all playgroups / nurseries / public transport / other people etc and what kind of life would that be?You can't keep your kids in a bubble.
After a few years of having school age kids you do get used to battling all the viruses/germs/parasites, honestly!

kungfupannda · 03/04/2017 20:42

Coldsores aren't airborne like colds so why would your daughter have caught the virus from your mother?

You don't need to treat coldsores like leprosy! Just take sensible precautions. DP gets coldsores and none of the DSs have caught it. Neither have I. His sister also gets them quite regularly and has managed not to pass them on to her children.

Swipe left for the next trending thread