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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not let my mum come over with a cold sore?

106 replies

Placeanditspatrons · 31/03/2017 10:04

She is slightly offended but dd 15 months and ds (7) have never had one.
She says it's tiny and healed - I'm still not convinced.

Would you let someone in with a coldsore? Aibu?

OP posts:
Vermillioncomfyshoes · 31/03/2017 10:48

I think it's a bit extreme to ban her from the house.
I'd get her to give her hands a good wash when she arrives and remember not to touch it.
I get cold sores quite often but my DH and grown up DDs never.
Your DCs are going to be exposed to the virus sooner or later.

Itmustbemyage · 31/03/2017 10:50

I had a cold sore just after my grand daughter was born but as my son and his partner live with us they had no choice but to bring her home to our house.
I kept my distance as she was a new born, no cuddles was very hard but I managed to restrain myself, I waited until it dried up then could have all the cuddles I'd missed.
By the way she never caught the infection.
With older children and sensible precautions YABU

DragonNoodleCake · 31/03/2017 10:57

Get her to wash and dry the whole area and use a cold sore patch to completely cover the sore. Problem solved

Original poster
Placeanditspatrons · 31/03/2017 10:59

The problem with the patch thing is she says the sore is almost in her mouth. On her lip but right at the very edge. Would a patch still work?

OP posts:
Sparklingbrook · 31/03/2017 11:00

WTF. How do parents manage if they get a coldsore?

Do teachers not go into work if they have one?

Porpoiselife · 31/03/2017 11:00

YABU

Katiepoes · 31/03/2017 11:04

Oh come on! I get them, have done my whole life. My daughter and husband seem to have escaped catching it so far, you are truly being unreasonable. Your ds is 7 - what does he do at school? Is this the first time your mother has one?

What will you do if one of their friends has one?

Toomanycalories · 31/03/2017 11:04

Thats a good point memyselfandaye

If you haven't caught it then your mum has already done a good job with you not to pass it on, assuming she had them when you were little too? so I would have thought she knows what precautions she needs to take. Have you ever had one? Where would you go if you had one? who would you leave the kids with?

No coldsores doesnt mean no virus though :( the chances are you are one of the majority of people who have the virus with no or mild symptoms because Screwinthetuna is right the vast majority of the population has it but not everyone has the symptoms. You may all already have it you wouldn't know.

Taking precautions and ensuring hygiene, patches yes but I wouldn't ban my Mum from coming around because of it.

Original poster
Placeanditspatrons · 31/03/2017 11:14

I've had them so I am a carrier but thankfully not had an actual sore for maybe 20 years

It's just when I read online it said the first infection can be nasty and cause other symptoms (temperature, swollen glands, sore throat) as well as lots of sores in the mouth which can spread down the throats and affect breathing!

OP posts:
ladyvimes · 31/03/2017 11:18

Bit of an overreaction! My gran and mum both had cold sores occasionally when we were kids. Neither me or my siblings ever can get them.

ladyvimes · 31/03/2017 11:18

Oops *caught them.

FrogsLegs31 · 31/03/2017 11:21

Precious?
Why is it unreasonable to want your children to avoid a potentially lifelong annoyance if possible?

I don't have them and no one in my family ever did so perhaps this is why I think the OP is totally reasonable.

MyChemicalMummy · 31/03/2017 11:24

You could always get her a biohazard suit to wear!

Original poster
Placeanditspatrons · 31/03/2017 11:26

Yes. She can wear it whilst waving at me through the window.

OP posts:
PonderLand · 31/03/2017 11:27

I got cold sores after the birth of my DS. I bought some compeed patches as I always touch my face without realising etc! Maybe they'd be an option?

sticklebrix · 31/03/2017 11:34

I would be unconcerned about the 7 year old but probably avoid 15 month old getting a coldsore if I could.

I think that the dangers are reduced around 4-6 weeks after birth. But don't know at which point an infection is considered completely harmless in babies.

silkpyjamasallday · 31/03/2017 11:37

I understand your position OP, I don't have herpes (which is what causes the cold sores and makes them contagious) and nor does DP or any of my family and I wouldn't want DD to get it. After one party as teenagers almost all my friends got them from snogging and sharing cigarettes and drinks and I was SO careful around them after that when they had outbreaks! Yes it's very common and a lot of people have them but why would you needlessly allow your child to contract it? I wouldn't want a disease that gave me cold sores for the rest of my life, and it sounds like you know your mother would ignore requests to not kiss/cuddle so YANBU, she can wait a few days to see them, being apart while she is infectious isn't going to kill her.

apotheke · 31/03/2017 11:49

I get cold sores all the time. My youngest is still a face grabber too so I make sure to cover them with Compeed patches while they are itchy and contagious. Make sure she gets that exact brand. All the cheap ones are useless. So far, my DC have been fine. I was so worried when they were tiny.

They are designed to be used on the lips, that's where most coldsores are. I do find they need replaced after eating drinking. And you must make sure the area is bone dry before application (no cream or makeup underneath). Also cutting them in half works well to prevent having the plaster going into the wet side of your lip.

blackteasplease · 31/03/2017 11:50

I get them and don't abandon my kids every time I do!

DumbledoresArmy30 · 31/03/2017 11:58

I understand worrying about it but my mum gets them all the time and has been around my 7 month old DD with one. My DD was premature so I was ultra paranoid, but mum just doesn't have a cuddle when she has one and doesn't kiss DD. Mum is providing my childcare once I'm back at work so I'd be stuffed if I didn't let her near DD with a cold sore.

MrsChopper · 31/03/2017 11:59

I don't think you are being unreasonable!

I get cold sores all the time and have done since I was little and it was my mother who passed it on to me. It is a pita amd even more so now I have a child and try to stop him catching it.

We went to my mother's house on christmas day and she had a huge cold sore she didn't tell me anything about and I was annoyed. Because she doesn't realise how often she touches her mouth and then everything else.

VladmirsPoutine · 31/03/2017 11:59

I think we've reached peak MN with this thread.
Would you let someone in with a coldsore?

Stitchfusion · 31/03/2017 12:00

If your dc was 3 or 4 days old, I might understand where you were coming from, but its a cold sore, not small pox.
Do you put your dc in a bubble? How exactly are they meant to live on this planet if you cocoon them this much?

EffinElle · 31/03/2017 12:01

You're being ridiculous!

Bluntness100 · 31/03/2017 12:02

This is fairly unreasonable yes, 😂 To the extent I am really hoping you're not serious. Not really sure it gets any more precious snow flakey really...,.

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