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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

How old is too old.. Do I stop my DS?

116 replies

DollySaves · 28/03/2017 12:41

My DS (14)Is a very sensitive, caring and polite young man who would do anything for anyone however he still loves to play with his Lego and WWE figures, My DS isn't very sociable and has no interest in going out with his friends after school ( he has a few friends and I have tried to encourage him to spend time with them outside of school) but he has no interest however if it's someone's birthday he will go out, but that's it.

Family have said he is getting too old to play with toys now and should start to be interested in things boys his age would typically enjoy like going out, Music and games consoles ( he has a games console but has no interest) and that letting him play with toys will be bad for his health as he ' needs to grow up' ( he is very mature for his age!)

I am just pleased he is happy and isn't spending hours looking at screens or going out until silly - o clock / getting into the wrong crowds.

AIBU to NOT stop him?

OP posts:

Wishiwasmoiradingle2017 · 28/03/2017 12:42

Why would you want to stop him being himself?

ilovegin112 · 28/03/2017 12:43

Mine is 17 goes out with his mates but still likes building lego etc if that's who he is that's who he is

Shoxfordian · 28/03/2017 12:44

Yeah; let him be who he is
No harm in letting him develop interests at his own pace

SchnooSchnoo · 28/03/2017 12:44

He sounds fine. Don't worry, unless you think he's unhappy?

Bantanddec · 28/03/2017 12:45

My 30 year old partner loves lego!

alltouchedout · 28/03/2017 12:45

I know people in their 40s and 50s who enjoy building lego. I'm pretty sure there are lego sets aimed specifically at adults. He sounds like a lovely young man, why try to change him?

Addictedtocustardcreams · 28/03/2017 12:46

Ed Sheeran was on graham norton recently saying he used money from his first album to buy a really great lego set. He seems to be doing alright for himself so I wouldn't worry.

SquedgieBeckenheim · 28/03/2017 12:46

I have friends in their 30's who still play with lego!
Let him be who he is, there's nothing wrong with it. Surely it'll be more damaging to his self esteem and mental health if you try to change him?

Mumzypopz · 28/03/2017 12:46

All ages play with Lego, I'd leave him.

PoptartPoptart · 28/03/2017 12:46

No, yanbu. Kids grow up too fast these days. If he's happy playing with Lego then just let him be and tell we'll meaning family to mind their own business! If he's happy then what's the harm?
Anyway, I'm sure plenty of adults have Lego sets, puzzles, construction kits etc.

OneWildNightWithJBJ · 28/03/2017 12:47

Why would anyone stop a 14-year-old being creative in favour of playing computer games? If he's happy building Lego, that's absolutely fine! I think Lego is a bit different to other toys anyway...

pieceofpurplesky · 28/03/2017 12:47

Mine is 13 and plays with Lego and Star Wars figures. I suspect he always will!

HelgaHufflepuff76 · 28/03/2017 12:48

Tell them that lots of grown adults like collecting models and toys and enjoy making things from Lego or model kits.
It's just what he's into, and there's nothing more 'grown up' about playing on video games than playing with Lego.

mumeeee · 28/03/2017 12:48

There is nothing wrong with your son playing with Lego at 14.My nearly 18 year old nephew still plays with Lego. I also know a few adults who love Lego.

Sunnyshores · 28/03/2017 12:48

You could perhaps encourage him to join after school activities or clubs - so he makes more friends and is active. But there is certainly nothing wrong with him spending time playing with Lego if thats what he enjoys.

xStefx · 28/03/2017 12:50

I love lego (im 33)
also I was playing with my barbies until I was about 14 years old

My Dh likes comics , he is 39

Let the little boy be who he is, I would also be glad he isn't sitting looking at a screen all day and night

Dearlittleflo · 28/03/2017 12:50

What they all said- nothing wrong with Lego at any age. He sounds like a lovely boy.

If you want to expand his horizons a bit, could you get him some of the more advanced lego eg Technics or architecture. A lot of these sets are aimed at adults so might be more of a challenge. There are also sets where you can combine building with robotics and programming.

Not suggesting the above because there's anything wrong with lego- far from it.

AaoograhaHoa · 28/03/2017 12:51

YANBU - good for you for letting him carry on.

My Lovely DP is in his 30s and still plays with miniatures and card games and board games. It makes him happy and he has loads of mates.

I would say leave him be unless you have a genuine concern that it is affecting his well being.

2014newme · 28/03/2017 12:51

I know plenty adults that like Lego plus look at all the wargaming and dungeons and dragons adult players.

As bill Gates said " be nice to geeks, you will probably end up working for one "

cosytoaster · 28/03/2017 12:51

There are lots of teenage and adult fans of lego - I'd just let him be as long as he's happy.

EdmundCleverClogs · 28/03/2017 12:51

I still play with lego, though mostly because I had younger siblings and now a child of my own. It's excellent for using the mind to create and use logic, like a physical puzzle. Plenty of boys his age play Minecraft, or Sim type games, very similar idea. A lot of teens in my day had mechano (sorry my spelling is awful today) or build your own whatever sets, and I'm from a generation where video games were huge already. My friend in particular loved building computers, they also loved lego and such.

WWE is huge, I know adults (both male and female) who have the dolls, even accessories like a ring to go with it. If you said he was playing with toys well below his age, I'd possibly be concerned, but nothing reads as odd here.

neverthetwainshallmeet · 28/03/2017 12:51

YANBU.

If he's happy, not hurting anyone, what's the problem? The other things will come in time, or perhaps not. Everyone is different. If YOU are worried then talk to him, you know your baby better than anyone else.

QueenInsomnia · 28/03/2017 12:52

No don't stop him, it's something he enjoys, and he shouldn't feel pressured to change. You can get adult building kits, there's no harm in him enjoying lego. You should encourage it, and tell others to mind their own business. Just search for model building kits online, and you'll see how much of a wide variety they have. It might be of interest to him. He sounds like a lovely young man, you should be proud of yourself.

goodpiemissedthechips · 28/03/2017 12:52

I don't think that policing others' harmless, legal hobbies is the way to go TBH.

It's a shame that the family can't accept him for who he is and instead have a very limited (laughable and incorrect) idea of appropriate behaviour.

Any of their hobbies you don't like? Might be worth mentioning them and see how they respond 😈

goodpiemissedthechips · 28/03/2017 12:55

(YANBU, obvs)

My DP collects comics and Star Wars figurines, perhaps the DM should write an article on well-balanced men who enjoy playing with toys.

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