Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5

Original poster

How old is too old.. Do I stop my DS?

116 replies

DollySaves · 28/03/2017 12:41

My DS (14)Is a very sensitive, caring and polite young man who would do anything for anyone however he still loves to play with his Lego and WWE figures, My DS isn't very sociable and has no interest in going out with his friends after school ( he has a few friends and I have tried to encourage him to spend time with them outside of school) but he has no interest however if it's someone's birthday he will go out, but that's it.

Family have said he is getting too old to play with toys now and should start to be interested in things boys his age would typically enjoy like going out, Music and games consoles ( he has a games console but has no interest) and that letting him play with toys will be bad for his health as he ' needs to grow up' ( he is very mature for his age!)

I am just pleased he is happy and isn't spending hours looking at screens or going out until silly - o clock / getting into the wrong crowds.

AIBU to NOT stop him?

OP posts:

mrsmortis · 28/03/2017 13:29

I'm in my 40's. Both DH and I got Lego for Christmas and so did my DF who is in his late 60's. DH and I also got Lego for our 10th wedding anniversary earlier this year.

I have a friend who is an Architect and he loves Lego as a tool for designing buildings. So it may be a useful skill in later life.

If you want him being more social how about taking him to BrickLive or something similar where he's sure to meet kids of his own age with similar interests. bricklive.co.uk/

228agreenend · 28/03/2017 13:30

Can you encourage him to join a relevant club at school or after school. Eg lego mind storms, or an engineering club. Robot wars?

Or get him a raspberry pi. He may not be interested in consoles, but coding may interest him as it's logical.

Has he tried scouts or explorers? That may give him a taste of different activities.

Armadillostoes · 28/03/2017 13:32

YANBU-it is great that your DS has the confidence to be himself and doesn't feel that he has to conform to other people's expectations. Being mature does not equate to acting like a sheep and following the herd!

On a serious note, I would be wary of the influence of family members or others suggesting that he has to conform. He doesn't need that sort of undermining and negative commentary (actually nobody does!). Don't let them do damage (even if they believe that they are helping).

ArriettyClock1 · 28/03/2017 13:32

My 14 year old loves the Lego Creator range.

It targeted at 16 and over, according to the box. He has the mini cooper and the camper van and they look very cool once built.

Ginkypig · 28/03/2017 13:36

Replace Lego and wwe figures with jigsaw puzzles and books or model planes and no one would have a problem.

Children play with toys but as he is not really (still is but not properly) then what he actually is doing is enjoying his hobbies

He has his hobbies and that's just fine wether anyone else "gets" them is not his (or your) problem.

Lots and lots of adults have boring or odd hobbies and likes that loads of others don't "get" but we don't have a go at them for it we just hope we arnt forced to show an interest!

As long as there is nothing else to suggest that there may be something going on that he would need support with then leave him to grow up at his own pace.

user1andonly · 28/03/2017 13:44

Leave him be :)

I packed all my Sindy dolls away when I was about 13 (peer pressure - my parents were not bothered either way) and I really missed them!

Sure, introduce him to other more 'grown up' things when opportunities arise and you think something might appeal to him but there is no need to rush him.

AllMyBestFriendsAreMetalheads · 28/03/2017 13:44

If we won the lottery we'd buy a fuckton of lego kits. All the ones that are stupidly expensive and we'd hide them in a bunker shed so that the kids couldn't get to them

He might start wanting to go out a bit more now it's summer. I never did like hanging around when it's cold and miserable.

Anyway, I think being able to not follow the crowd is no bad thing.

muckypup73 · 28/03/2017 13:48

Why do people try and make children grow up to quickly? If your son is happy then leave him too it.

SootSprite · 28/03/2017 13:51

When I got left some money in a will I treated myself to the Lego Death Star. It is beautiful.

I'm 44 and I still love Lego.

Be proud of who he is, he is fine just the way he is.

Allthewaves · 28/03/2017 13:54

I live lego and I'm nearly 40. Dh has some great lego models. People make careers out of it

Allthewaves · 28/03/2017 13:54

Live=love

Tomorrowillbeachicken · 28/03/2017 13:54

My hubby is mid forties and likes building with Lego as does his 70 odd year old mother.

elliejjtiny · 28/03/2017 13:55

Your DS sounds lovely. I've got a 10 year old who still likes Thomas the tank engine. Let them be kids and play with toys for as long as possible I think.

PS DH likes lego and I like reading Jacqueline Wilson books

MrsJayy · 28/03/2017 13:55

Lego is great dd2 was a mentor for lego leaugue at school also dd1 was into lego bionacles at 14 honestly your son is fine your family need to leave him alone.dh is into model trains if we had the room his trains would be all over the bloody house.. teenagers with hoobies is all your son has it isn't childish he doesn't need to grow up playing with lego and super heros is better than fags and cider.

elliejjtiny · 28/03/2017 13:56

Your DS sounds lovely. I've got a 10 year old who still likes Thomas the tank engine. Let them be kids and play with toys for as long as possible I think.

PS DH likes lego and I like reading Jacqueline Wilson books

elliejjtiny · 28/03/2017 13:56

oops, double post.

wrenika · 28/03/2017 13:57

I'm a 27 yr old female and I still collect Star Wars toys. My living room has a 3ft stormtrooper by the tv...a mannequin with Star Wars armour that I made...10 x 12inch Sideshow Collectibles figures lined up along the windowsill...I could go on!
My OH is the same, although his thing is comics and RP gaming on Skype with old uni friends.
Let him enjoy himself however he wants. We're all individuals. :)

FoostyFandang · 28/03/2017 13:58

He sounds lovely OP.

I predict my 7yo will be like him, I gently steer him away from taking his teddy to the supermarket and he's a soft hearted little soul - those gentle boys are so endearing....

TheSmallClangerWhistlesAgain · 28/03/2017 14:05

If you're worried about his social opportunities, I would second Explorer scouts, or Woodcraft Folk. They tend to attract the "gentler", more thoughtful and constructive boys, in my experience. Also, friendships away from the intensity of school can be easier.

grumpygiraffe · 28/03/2017 14:07

It's your family who need to grow up.

Your son has the strength to do what makes him happy despite what other people think. You should be proud of him.

mikeyssister · 28/03/2017 14:08

If there's a local lego club see will he get involved. They'd probably love to have a knowledgeable 14 year old helping out.

It'll help his social skills, if he needs the help as well as getting him out of the house.

Now if anyone can tell me how to wean my 19 year old off Pokemon DS games???????????

ExplodedCloud · 28/03/2017 14:10

DH bought a bucket of Technical Lego on eBay recently. He's nearly 50. Ds isn't allowed to mix it up with his

Cakescakescakes · 28/03/2017 14:11

Lego is the ultimate all ages hobby! Loads of kits for adults too including some really tricky technical ones.

MewlingQuim · 28/03/2017 14:14

Shhh.

I have a big box of Lego hidden under the bed for DH's birthday next week.

He's 45

KitKats28 · 28/03/2017 14:19

Please don't make him socialise if he doesn't want to. There is nothing wrong with preferring one's own company. I actually find it quite insulting that there is always an underlying message on threads like this, that if you don't have loads of friends and go out doing things, then you are somehow socially inadequate.

I'm an introvert, always have been. I still managed to hold down a good job, which was in fact customer facing. I've also managed to have a long and happy marriage and bring up two children.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5