Or is my husband being a dick??

[babybrainismyexcuseforlife]

So my husband is going tonight for a night out with a few of his old colleagues. His night out will be 30 miles from where we live so I'm dropping him to the train station later for him to get there but he has said that I've to pick him up later from whatever bar they end up in!! I ofcourse said uh no! He can get the last train home and I'll pick him up from the station but I am not driving 30 miles away at 1 or 2 in the morning!! We have 2 kids, the youngest only 1 who I get up with through the night as he doesn't hear him so I have no desire to get even less sleep! ( we live with his mum (don't ask ) so I won't have to wake the kids to get him) but he doesn't even see how he's being unreasonable!!!

Yanbu if that was my DH I would tell him you either get last train or my phone will be off

Get him to ask his mum to pick him up

YANBU. He should have planned to stay in a hotel.

Bugger that, it's very unreasonable of him to expect you to do that.

If it was DP I'd go and get him. And he'd come and get me too.

But then we aren't out often so it's a non issue :)

Yanbu, and how convenient for him to "not hear" his baby DC at night. I wouldn't even be collecting him from the local station.

I would not do that. I think the extent of your cooperation is pick up from the station. He simply wants to extend his drinking time past the last train.

YANBU.

Also, wake him up if he "doesn't hear" baby DC!

YANBU!!

Your DH is being a dick!

I'd do that pick up but, would expect equal treatment if I was out on the lash

If he 'doesn't hear' the baby, maybe you 'don't hear' the phone at 2am?

Or, more actually likely, and less PA, you are busy with the baby so can't come.

Op, YANBU.

Apart from disturbing your already disturbed sleep, has he even thought to ask his mum if she'd listen for/attend to his kids whilst you fetch him?

Can't he get a lift home with one of his colleagues?

You need to be firm and clear - he can get a train & taxi maybe.

I think Lady's idea is a nice one! When he calls from the station to be picked up, tell him you'll just settle the baby and then be on your way. Then make yourslf a cuppa, put your feet up for half an hour and then go.

Do not agree to drive 30 miles to pick him up. Just don't.

I would and have done similar, as has DH. For us, having the other home safely is the important factor, not the hour on the clock. It's not every week so an accpetable ask imo. I also agree with someone upthread, using a hotel for the night is something we have both done when the distance has been a little bit further than ideal.

I'm probably more pissed that he doesn't even see he's being unreasonable nor did he really ASK me to pick him up yet made out that I was being so horrible by not agreeing to it! I don't go out or drink so it's not as if he's picking me up all the time!
His mum is in her mid 70's and has a broken arm so yes the kids will be sleeping but if the baby was to wake she couldn't lift him!
Well he can go out in a huff if he wants, I don't have to look at his face 😂

Just ask yourself the question would he do same for you? If answer is no yanbu

That's your perfect reason for not being able to pick him up. If the baby woke up, or indeed if any of the children needed attention his mother couldn't do anything.

Well that settles it. You cannot leave your child with an injured 70 yo who cannot lift them!

He will have to get a cab. Tough shit!

he has said that I've to pick him up later from whatever bar they end up in!!

he didn't really ask

No chance, & with an attitude like that he'd be walking from the bloody station.

IF he had asked nicely, I'd have picked him up in town as it doesn't happen often. HOWEVER, I'm a night owl/insomniac/non sleeper & so the hour wouldn't bother me.

In YOUR situation I'd have probably said the same as you. IF HE HAD ASKED NICELY. Now he can walk. Git.

Oh & as for not hearing the baby? Can he normally t feel your elbow on his ribs either!? Wise up munchkin - get him sorted out! 💐

Plus I'm leaving him to the train for 5pm surely 5 hrs is plenty of time to be out for a drink for him to get the last train home!
It's not so much the time of going to get him (although I'd rather be in bed) it's the distance and leaving my kids with his mum who isn't physically able to look after the youngest should he wake as I'd be out for about 2 hrs!!

Jux but that way she's still agreeing to go? Sorry, I wouldn't be doing this. A grown man old enough to go for a big night out is old enough to figure out how to get home. Especially since OPwon't know when he'll be calling or where from. He's not some 17 year old on their first night in town.

If it seems like such a dangerous undertaking to get home at the end of the night, I'm surprised people go out at all.

In answer to your OP yes he is being a dick but not just about this.

FuckyNell
"Get him to ask his mum to pick him up"

Yes. Maybe he'll get the hint