Or is my husband being a dick??

[babybrainismyexcuseforlife]

So my husband is going tonight for a night out with a few of his old colleagues. His night out will be 30 miles from where we live so I'm dropping him to the train station later for him to get there but he has said that I've to pick him up later from whatever bar they end up in!! I ofcourse said uh no! He can get the last train home and I'll pick him up from the station but I am not driving 30 miles away at 1 or 2 in the morning!! We have 2 kids, the youngest only 1 who I get up with through the night as he doesn't hear him so I have no desire to get even less sleep! ( we live with his mum (don't ask ) so I won't have to wake the kids to get him) but he doesn't even see how he's being unreasonable!!!

I'd say "sorry love, I'm looking after the kids. Get the train and a taxi or get your mum to get you".

So basically Leggit you wouldn't do it, I wouldn't either.

This section is called Am I Being Unreasonable, not All Choices Are Equally Valid.

He sounds like a spoilt entitled bellend.

MrsTerry

Yes, I think we are vehemently agreeing, although with a little segway (sp?) into 'Aw, don't be horrible to your husbands"

TBH in your circumstance I'd probably go and get him, but that's because I like driving, and the quiet alone in the car I find very pleasant - especially when I've had kids hanging off me all day whining.

In the past, we have either got each other, or done the train/pickup from station thing, or the taxi. These days we tend towards the taxi unless there's a good reason, so the kids don't have to be turfed into the car.

I think we are vehemently agreeing It's very important to vehemently do SOMETHING. Otherwise we're no better than animals.

Maybe he needs it pointing out that you being away from the house for 2 hours leaving a frequently waking baby with his mother who CANNOT lift said baby is really not a good idea.

I am accommodating to others. I don't do a 60 mile round trip at 1am with two DC in the house one of whom is non-sleeping-through

I agree especially when the person in said house with the kids whilst you do it is physically incapable of doing anything except gently talking to them. That's fine for a short period of time but not 2 hours ffs. Theirs being accommodating and theirs being a mug. I'm fairly sure his mum wouldn't be happy being left with the kids for 2 hours either.

No way would I be out for two hours leaving a 1 year old with someone who cannot even pick him up!

Tell him you need your sleep and he can get train and taxi. Pratt!

You're not unreasonable!

First rule my parents said when I started going out....make sure you know how you are getting home and you've got the money to do so.
Phoning for a lift, even from my parents, was for emergencies only, lost purse, lost friends, that kind of thing.

My boyfriend did offer to collect me last night, as I'd planned to just go out for a few hours, and would be leaving before everyone else (first night out since dd)
I ended up getting home at 3am! I wouldn't have expected him to collect me at that time, I got a taxi! he did have to put me to bed though

Actually, maybe we should specify that the OPs DP is behaving like a dick (criticise the behaviour; not the child)

NotYoda "Actually, maybe we should specify that the OPs DP is behaving like a dick"

after a while, an adult is pretty much summed up by their behaviour....

YANBU - tell him to get the last train back and a taxi from the station because you're going to bed at 9pm! Or he could ask his Mummy!

Alice

Indeed.

I would still like to hear from the OP why she never goes out herself.

oracle "Or he could ask his Mummy!"

maybe he would if she didn't have an injury...

Is it a negative attitude to expect an adult man to behave like an adult man? (especially as this 'adult man' expects 'wifey' to look after their children AND injured, elderly mother while living under said mother's roof and spectacularly failing to provide for his family)

I would never agree to do this, even though my kids are almost grown up now and don't need to be dragged with us.

If DH wants to go out then fine, but he has to get himself back. I have poor night vision so don't drive at night unnecessarily. I won't go.

Nor would I expect DH to come out and collect me. Not that I really like going out anyway, but if or when I do I am responsible for myself. DH is responsible for himself.

It was a rule introduced when the kids were babies. It has remained in place and it suits us.

He really sees you as his skivvy doesn't he?

Doesn't hear the baby .

Says you "have" to pick him up . You don't have to do anything except look after the actual children you live with.

Ffs, my husband would never ask this of me, in fact he'd be quite concerned if I wanted to leave the kids in this scenario , at that time in the morning, and drive a 60 mile round trip to get him. He would never ask or even want this because it would be more important for him to accommodate, my, my mothers and the kids needs rather than prioritise his desire to stay out drinking. Accommodating works both ways.

So tell him He either gets a taxi all the way home, or a train and a taxi from the station. Or stays at a cheap local hotel/ b&b. If he can't accommodate his families needs then you do.

OP, you are not a taxi, you have responsibilities, and are honouring them.
Tell him to have a great time, and to make his own way home.

DH have and will do the pick up from the station scenario. We do it for each other. I wouldn't do it for this guy though, in this exact situation.

Has he not heard of taxis?

*DH and I

This is why i refuse to move to the country! Driving to the station sounds mad to me.

Just turn your phone off and unplug the landline if you have one.