Or is my husband being a dick??

[babybrainismyexcuseforlife]

So my husband is going tonight for a night out with a few of his old colleagues. His night out will be 30 miles from where we live so I'm dropping him to the train station later for him to get there but he has said that I've to pick him up later from whatever bar they end up in!! I ofcourse said uh no! He can get the last train home and I'll pick him up from the station but I am not driving 30 miles away at 1 or 2 in the morning!! We have 2 kids, the youngest only 1 who I get up with through the night as he doesn't hear him so I have no desire to get even less sleep! ( we live with his mum (don't ask ) so I won't have to wake the kids to get him) but he doesn't even see how he's being unreasonable!!!

If it's going to take you 2 hours, then you can't can you. You can't leave your MIL looking after them for that long when she has a broken arm.

Just tell him to either get the last train home or go home with one of his mates & get the train back tomorrow. Either way TRAIN is the key word here 😁 well, after knob

Why don't you go out or drink?

why doesn't he just get the last train and a cab? If he's got drinking money, he can do that. Return is often same price as single ticket anyway.

bizarre. Is he on glue?!

YANBU.

And next time he doesn't hear the baby? Wake him up! DH has done that (seeing as I sometimes sleep like a log, though ringing phones, screaming babies and everything...)

He could take the train and then a cab? Seriously, what does he expect you to do? Be in two places?

Clary, no, he expects his mother, who can't lift anything, to look after the kids.

Actually OP maybe he'd improve on glue...!

What time is the last train? Sometimes you have to compromise when you have young kids.

If you weren't living with his mum he wouldn't be able to just tell you to collect him would he and just assume that his mumis willing to provide childcare to suit him?

Ridiculous. I'd never ask this of my DH and wouldn't do this for him unless he got stuck (no trains/cabs). How did he manage before he met you?!

Alice

Yeah, I know... But it's so stupid!

And if he's out late and drinking he'll probably want to have a lie in/be hungover the next day.

So theOP would be tired from driving him around like a fucking driver, the mother wouldn't be a lot of help with the children due to her arm and the OP would be tired and would probably be looking after the children/cook etc...

YANBU. Dick.

God no, YANBU. He has other options - he can get a cab, he can bum a lift with one of the colleagues, he can catch the fecking train back to the station near you (and THEN get a cab or walk!) or he can sleep on someone's floor for the night!

I'd refuse. And in fact have done, while pg with DS1 and DH went out on the lash - told him not to call me, switched all the phones off, including the answerphone (previous form for phoning me when the nightclubs kicked out and begging for a lift home). He ended up having to pay for his taxi home with his leather jacket, as he hadn't taken enough cash with him - but he did get it back later that week when he went and found the taxi driver (local firm) and paid him actual money.

I'm amazed some people would go out for two hours in the middle of the night to pick up a grown adult who can catch a train.

Even if they weren't an arsehole like this wanker is.

People would honestly go out at 1 or 2am to pick up their partners after a night out?! As in fully grown adults?!! Nope! Not in this house, especially with very young children. I wouldnt expect DH to do it for me either. That's what public transport/taxis are for.

Me and my OH often drop each other off, pick up and occasionally this has been done with a child / children in the back of the car. But not 30 miles and If I did not want to end the night early to catch the last train if it was a catch up with old friends / colleagues I would have booked a hotel or arranged to stay with someone else and vice versa.
He is being a dick.

I don't see why people are so shocked to find that some adults are accommodating to others. I mean ok, so some people wouldn't go out and collect their partners, well so what? I would collect DH, again so what?

It's not a pisstake if I collect him or vice versa, it's just a consideration we allow for each other. Time of day is, as I previously said, irrelevant. The idea that someone MUST use public transport simply because it is available may be how some couples work, but other people often give a lift, even during the day, rather than using public transport.

His choice to go out, his choice to come home. NOT YOUR PROBLEM.

His choice to go out, his choice to come home. NOT YOUR PROBLEM

Do people really have such a negative attitude to their partners

Hmm, I see the 'negative attitude' coming from the person who assumes that their partner will inevitably be available to run around after them at any time of the day or night and doesn't respect the partner's choice to say no to that.

Of course, I agree with that also.

I don't see why people are so shocked to find that some adults are accommodating to others. I am accommodating to others. I don't do a 60 mile round trip at 1am with two DC in the house one of whom is non-sleeping-through. When there's a train.

I wouldn't even be getting him from the station at that time. DH would never ask that of me and neither would i of him.

I'd just chuckle at the mere thought and say 'no, i wont be doing that' and then probably find myself incredulously laughing and shaking my head at random points throughout the day.

i am accommodating to others. I don't do a 60 mile round trip at 1am with two DC in the house one of whom is non-sleeping-through. When there's a train. and that is fine, but it is equally fine for others who choose to make that trip.

Although I should add I wouldn't do 60 miles either, that would be a hotel jib for either of us

Leggit

People don't have a negative attitude to their partners. They have a negative attitude to the OPS partner

My partner is not a dick, nor is yours, probably. Which is why we know what a dick is and is not

If people freely choose to do that sort of trip, that's their bag. It's the arsiness when someone declines to do it that is off. 'How dare you not be at my beck and call, so that I have to make my own travel plans like a grown up!' Stuff that.