For DH to not give a stuff about Mother's day?

[Bethan2]

Hi all,

My DH has declared nothing will happen on Mother's day this year as our 6 month old son is not old enough to contribute anything and also that I'm not his (DH's) mother. Am feeling pretty cheesed off as I was looking forward to something, be it a card 'from' the baby, breakfast in bed etc but now I won't get anything... Feel like it's my birthday and I'm not getting any presents! Or am I just being stupid?

Thanks for reading x

Is he perhaps planning to surprise you?

Just let him know that Father's Day will be the same

That's how my first mothers day was ruined. You can return the favour on fathers day. But I wouldn't bother. Is he crap in all kinds of other ways as well?

Well can't argue with your husbands logic but yes he is being an arse.

That would really upset me

Dont acknowledge father's day. At all. And look closly at how he treats you everyday. People are not usually just twats on one day of the year.

Let him Jane a taste of his own medicine at Father's Day.

In the mean time plan a Mother's Day special with just your baby and a nice day out together

Ask him why it would be so bloody difficult to get a card to show his appreciation of what a good mother you are? Why did he even want to make such a declaration anyway? Miserable sod!

In this case I'd talk to my DM & DMIL and tell them that you'd really like to be recognised as a mother this year and DH has told you he's not doing anything. Hopefully they will step up. Failing that, do something with just you & DS to start your own mother's day tradition (sea life centre? My DS was fascinated with fish tanks at that age).

Exactly the same as my first Mother's Day. Made me so sad.

And maybe ignore his birthday as well as you didn't birth him after all.

The thing is that his logic is fine but he is saying that although you care about something and it's important to you, he doesn't care. Which is the actual problem. It's very very little effort for him to get a card, which would make you happy. He's choosing not to. Because he doesn't care? Because his hatred of MD is such that he would be permanently scarred? What?

You're not just being stupid, my DH put a similar amount of non effort on my first mother's day and I was upset. Although in my DH's case it was a lack of thought and planning rather than a calculated effort to do nothing. Just a bunch of daffodils and a lie in would have done me I wasn't exactly looking for diamonds.

Don't forget that Christmas is Jesus's birthday and not your selfish cunt H's!

Actually, this reminds me. My facebook On The Day for today shows it was mothers day today in 2013. My status says my husband at the time yet again didnt bother. We separated in the December due to his selfish thoughtless lying twatishness. He couldnt be bother being a family anymkre and wanted time on his own. Then there were posts under my status from a couple of friends whose husbands also ignored mothers day. And who also divorced since.
Im nit saying ltb over one morhers dayz but look closely at his treatment of you.

He's out of order. My (long term emotionally abusive)ex partner would ruin every single occasion like this. He'd either not bother or he would go last minute huffing and puffing about how he'd better get me something hadn't he, I should be so grateful. He was also ungrateful for every gift I ever got him from me or the kids. It's little things to chip away at you and make you feel that you aren't valued or aren't good enough.

Speak to him and tell him you expect him to make the effort. If he doesn't after that then he is not a very nice person. Sorry.

This was my Mother's Day for quite a few years. The only difference being, I didn't care. I wasn't his mother. I now get lovely gifts off my dds. I am their mother. It means more to me tbh, than a card or gift from DH.

Does he know it bothers you? I'm not bothered about 'days' (mothers / valentines/ birth etc- except Xmas) but I have a friend who is, and her dh always notes them with flowers, balloons etc. Because it makes her happy and he loves her. Mine would do it if he thought I was bothered. If my oh was bothered i would have needed it spelling out in words of one syllable, before I met this friend, as it's only the past couple of years that I've understood why people like this stuff! I'd be upset to receive mothers day stuff from anyone except my kids tho (unless I acquired step kids or became someone's guardian) - I'm not dh's mum!

Ps. I also don't think that this makes him "not a very nice person". Really?! How ridiculous!

Thepinkocelot -I don't think the problem is that he want to celebrate mother's day. It's that he knows the OP does and declares that he won't do anything anyway.

*doesn't want

No, yanbu. It's my first mother's day this year and I'm so excited about it! My fiancee knows this and I know he'll get a card from the baby for me, he knows how important it is to me. Just as I knowhow important his first fathers day will be for him. I agree with what a lot of other posters have said - if he doesn't bother then don't bother doing anything for fathers day. Especially as he knows how you feel about it, I think he's being quite mean!

The key question is rly whether he knows it's important to you... Because I certainly wouldn't care and neither would DH.. And same for father's day.. We barely do anything for valentines day or anniversaries.. A bit more for birthdays but rly we're not fussed!

What did you say to your h? Did you say you'd like a fuss made of you in your first Mother's Day?

If so, what did he say?

Does he buy a pressie etc for his mum on Mother's Day?

If he knows you'd like something, then he's being an arse. Do just the same for Father's Day. And his birthday.

What's he like in everyday life?