..or is this really passive aggressive twattishnes?

[RubbishMantra]

My DH died not long ago. SIL (DH's sister) made his life a merry hell. He supported her business, on the guise of it was his business also, even though he wasn't allowed access to accounts etc.
We both bought similar amounts of money into our marriage, and he decided he wanted to stop siphoning his funds into her business. He was told he "was taking food out her children's mouths". She has a trust fund.

I mentioned to her a few days ago that I'd needed to see a financial advisor (making my will at the moment). She texted back, "pleased there are silver linings for you!" No, there really aren't. I feel as if she's insinuating I profited from DH's death. I miss him every day.

My first AIBU, so please don't be too hard on me.

YANBU - she's foul.

Ignore her. Sorry for your loss

I would actually pull her up on that fairly sharply. What an arsehole, you've just lost your husband, there are no fucking linings, silver or otherwise. I'm incensed for you.

Oh Lord. She is horrible.

(((hugs))) OP. My sympathies for your loss.

YAdefinitelyNBU! What a horrific thing to say. So sorry about your DH.

The only response is: Fuck. Off.

It's not PA, it's cuntesque.

YANBU
She's a cowbag.
Sorry you have to go through this.

I got a large cheque when my OH died.
It sat unused in my bank for 3 years, I couldn't bear to touch it. Some people just don't get it.

Wow, if she's grieving too she's got a funny way of showing it! Sincere condolences to you OP

Thank you for reassuring me I'm not losing my shit. I did reply with "How could there possibly be a silver lining to losing DH?"

Wow

If you feel up to it, you would be justified in verbally removing her head from her body

Pull her up on that for sure! What a bitch.

Sorry for your loss OP

That's horrendous,she's a bitch.Sorry for your loss.

That's not PA, that's truly repulsive.

Thats not even passive, just aggressive. How have you not pushed a giant cream cake into her face before now?

Sincere condolences on your loss

Yanbu she's a cunt

Sorry for your loss

"Cuntesque" I'll remember that when thinking about her behaviour.

Like you @BillDoor. I've only just now begun to make tentative enquiries about what to do with our money, nearly 2 years later. I'm still very avoidant about it though.

She's trying to insinuate I benefitted from DH's, isn't she?

Not even passive. I'm glad you replied. What an arsehole.

*...insinuate I benefitted from DH's death I mean.

So sorry OP. YADNBU she sounds like a class A twat. Let's hope she's a MNer .

Yes, that's exactly what she's saying (not insinuating).

Do you need to remain in contact with her?

There's nothing passive about it! That's an aggressively horrible thing to say.
Well done for putting her back in her box so calmly. Your response was dignified and gentle - much more than she deserved.

Fucking cow. What a vile thing to say.

Do you have to have contact with her?

She's sound horrid! I imagine you're already going through enough without her crap

You know the truth about her and does it matter what someone like her really thinks? But well done on your reply!

YANBU, that's a horrible thing for your SIL to say.
However, I am very glad to read that you are starting to feel up to dealing with these things, RubbishMantra. I think of you and the cats often.