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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

..or is this really passive aggressive twattishnes?

84 replies

RubbishMantra · 02/03/2017 22:10

My DH died not long ago. SIL (DH's sister) made his life a merry hell. He supported her business, on the guise of it was his business also, even though he wasn't allowed access to accounts etc.
We both bought similar amounts of money into our marriage, and he decided he wanted to stop siphoning his funds into her business. He was told he "was taking food out her children's mouths". She has a trust fund.

I mentioned to her a few days ago that I'd needed to see a financial advisor (making my will at the moment). She texted back, "pleased there are silver linings for you!" No, there really aren't. I feel as if she's insinuating I profited from DH's death. I miss him every day.

My first AIBU, so please don't be too hard on me.

OP posts:
Original poster
RubbishMantra · 02/03/2017 22:35

No need for any contact. I was just trying to be... I dunno. Keep some kind of contact with DH's family I suppose. I won't any longer.

She held DH's wake at her business venue, and has since been advertising it as a place to hold wakes, because it's close to the crematorium. Suppose DH made a good trial run. But How. Fucking. Mercenary. Angry

OP posts:
Hidingtonothing · 02/03/2017 22:38

She just sounds to me like one of those extremely self centred people who only ever see things in terms of how they affect her, no compassion or empathy for others whatsoever. Your best bet is to stop expecting anything other than unpleasantness from her and distance yourself as much as is practical. Reading between the lines it sounds as though she resents the fact that DH's money is no longer subsidising her business, commenting on how his money might 'benefit' you just smacks of jealousy and misplaced entitlement to me. It's ironic really because you can bet she actually would see it as a 'silver lining' if his money had gone to her. Sorry for your loss OP, hope you're doing ok despite SIL's cuntiness Flowers

Sistermister · 02/03/2017 22:38

She held DH's wake at her business venue, and has since been advertising it as a place to hold wakes, because it's close to the crematorium

Oh. My. God.

Flowers to you OP.

Hidingtonothing · 02/03/2017 22:39

Cross posted with you OP, Christ she's shameless Shock

HeartsTrumpDiamonds · 02/03/2017 22:41

RubbishMantra how completely rubbish.

My DDad died in 2015 and my DMum didn't want to have anything to do with any part of the estate. Last week we finally updated her will. Until you are on the losing end of things you have no idea and your SIL is particularly lacking in any empathy whatsoever. Mum would rather have Dad back with 10p to their name than all the money in the world.

Flowers
leighb23 · 02/03/2017 22:42

What a total troll bitch from hell...
I normally only reserve that insult for MIL's!!

Original poster
RubbishMantra · 02/03/2017 22:44

Oh, Catz, she offered to take my cats if I were to die. Thing is, her and her family see animals as commodities, as in "losing" them. Several cats and dogs have been "lost in the woods". They're in the process of getting rid of one dog now, because he's not shaping up to do his "role". No way would she get her hands on my 2 lads.

It seems to them people/beings are just dispensable.

OP posts:
TheWitTank · 02/03/2017 22:48

Ugh, she sounds utterly revolting. What an arsehole. Cut all contact and don't feel even a smidgen of guilt about it. She was awful to your DH, you owe her nothing. I'm so sorry for your loss Flowers

MusicToMyEars800 · 02/03/2017 22:52

What a bitch!!! Yanbu. I am so sorry to hear your dh passed away Sad Flowers that was her brother.. heartless cow.

Bluesrunthegame · 02/03/2017 22:55

It's not passive aggressive, it's plain nasty.

Please have these Flowers.

Original poster
RubbishMantra · 02/03/2017 22:57

@HeartTrumpDiamonds that's exactly how i feel. Rather 10p and a cardboard box and have DH. Fucking silver lining indeed. Cuntesque/penisey behaviour at its finest.

She's a regular church goer too. According to Dh she waxed on about fitting in about 5 church services every Sunday. Along with trying to feed her many children whilst being a trustafarian Hmm

Fuck, I love MNers dearly. Thank you.

OP posts:
Goodasgoldilox · 02/03/2017 22:58

So sorry for your loss OP.

She sounds inhuman!
What a family to have started from. Thank-goodness he had you for the rest of his life.

WiddlinDiddling · 02/03/2017 22:59

What a cunty mccuntface... and an ignorant one at that to assume that seeing a financial advisor automatically means YAY LOADSA DOSH.

I've seen one relatively recently, to help me deal with my total lack of dosh!

Kick her in the flaps at your earliest opportunity.

ohfourfoxache · 02/03/2017 22:59

I really believe that the vast, vast majority of people who have lost someone they love would rather have them back than have anything to do with any money or possessions that may or may not be left.

As for the minority - yeah, they're cunts. SIL fits the bill perfectly.

I'm so sorry for your loss Thanks

MTMFH · 02/03/2017 23:01

Tell her to fuck off. Not PA, just unnecessary nastiness.

Sorry for your loss Flowers

MidlifeDad · 02/03/2017 23:01

Added to my dictionary : It's not PA, it's "cuntesque".

OldGuard · 02/03/2017 23:02

Why would she write that ? Gees it's so horrible. It's just beyond weird.

Imbroglio · 02/03/2017 23:02

I feel so angry on your behalf. How utterly crass.

So sorry for your loss.

Pettywoman · 02/03/2017 23:03

She's a AA grade cunt and she'd take money off you in a heartbeat. Distance yourself if you can and write a shit anonymous review of her business on Trip Advisor.

PollytheDolly · 02/03/2017 23:03

Wow!

I'd like to think of a harsher word than cunt...as she's that.

Don't doubt yourself OP, she's a nasty self-serving bastard.

Flowers
Catzpyjamas · 02/03/2017 23:06

She most definitely doesn't sound worthy of your cats!! She obviously doesn't realise what a good judge of character our feline friends are.

Winniethepooer · 02/03/2017 23:08

Its all been said Op...

Flowers

So sorry for your loss.

gillybeanz · 02/03/2017 23:10

I'd go on her business pages and leave a bad review, what a complete cow she sounds.
I'm so sorry for your loss Flowers I can't imagine the pain you have had but do know that no amount of money makes up for losing a loved one.

Originalfoogirl · 02/03/2017 23:13

Sorry to hear of your loss.

What a grade A bitch.

If you have no reason to keep in touch with her, I'd respond with "yes, not having to have you in my life any more = silver lining"

PuddleJumper01 · 02/03/2017 23:14

When I first joined MN, there was post I saw which I think is appropriate now. I don't know who said it, but...

Let her next poo be a hedgehog

I can take no credit. Flowers and sorry for your loss.