..or is this really passive aggressive twattishnes?

[RubbishMantra]

My DH died not long ago. SIL (DH's sister) made his life a merry hell. He supported her business, on the guise of it was his business also, even though he wasn't allowed access to accounts etc.
We both bought similar amounts of money into our marriage, and he decided he wanted to stop siphoning his funds into her business. He was told he "was taking food out her children's mouths". She has a trust fund.

I mentioned to her a few days ago that I'd needed to see a financial advisor (making my will at the moment). She texted back, "pleased there are silver linings for you!" No, there really aren't. I feel as if she's insinuating I profited from DH's death. I miss him every day.

My first AIBU, so please don't be too hard on me.

I don't know whether to pull her up on it, or just keep a dignified silence. I have zero interest in a relationship with her or DH's family. In my view they treated him terribly. When his teenaged self became mentally unwell, he was kicked out of home, because according to his parents, "He'd brought it upon himself". DH had to live at the YMCA, where he was sexually assaulted. 'Funny' thing was, his v. v. rich parents paid rent for him to live there, rather than care for their unwell teenage son.

His family sound like sociopaths.

Im sorry for your loss op

What awful people, I would just stay away now there is no link. On that line I've had nothing to do with my dad's family since he died and my life is quite improved for that. SIL sounds like a proper piece of work, what an utter cow.

I would actually pull her up on that fairly sharply. What an arsehole, you've just lost your husband, there are no fucking linings, silver or otherwise.

^^This

She is a Grade A turd covered in slime, punctuated by threadworms. I'd give her both barrels.

So sorry about your loss

"His family sound like sociopaths" Most of them are. His father disinherited him when he was a teenager, because they thought DH might die, costing them a lot of tax avoidance inheritance tax.

I really am wondering whether to say something to her, but that would make it appear I care. And I do not give a slimy thread-wormed filled crap (polished and covered in gold leaf of course ).

I was just so taken aback by that remark, when all she did was relentlessly make PA remarks at DH, and view him as a source of cash. He'd come home from working for her totally anxious and drained. She had a miserable marriage and DH bore the brunt of it whilst her (now ex) H was sitting about getting stoned.

What a piece of shit. The rest of the family sound like sociopaths, tbh.

I'd blank them. Unless I found a way of screwing them over, which they'd bloody well deserve.

Yanbu. She sounds fucking awful. Sorry for your loss and that you're having to endure shit from her on top of it.

Yes, I am just going to block and ignore from now on. DH and I had a terrible time from them (different social classes) and we planned to move away. He'd actually gone to visit family of origin when he died. He was dead for over a day before they found him. No silver lining, eh?

They won't even commit to keeping DH's memorial going. Probably because I set it up. I dedicated it from all of them though. I'll probably be able to leave something in my will to the trust where DH's memorial is though, shouldn't I? To ensure he's remembered.