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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think the shop assistant was a bit harsh about my dc stealing.

195 replies

Isabellaandthepotofbasil · 27/02/2017 18:13

We were out shopping at the weekend and I went into a shop with dd in the buggy . The shop has quite narrow aisles and the one I needed had a pillar in the middle so I parked dd up at the end and nipped down the aisle to get what I wanted, paid and we left. Yesterday morning I was cleaning the bottom of the buggy and I found a lipstick and two nail varnishes. Dd must have reached out from under the rain cover and picked them off the shelf whilst I was down the aisle! Obviously I'm mortified!

So I went back to the shop today with the stuff, offered to pay or return it and apologised profusely. The woman was awful to me. What kind of person let's their kids steal... I really should have checked before I left etc. She said they couldn't take the lipstick and nail varnish back in case I'd tampered with them. I said that I would pay for them so she scanned them through, I paid and I went to pick them up when she said that there was no way I could have them, she said 'did you really expect to be able get away with stealing them then get to keep them!'.

Now I didn't go in expecting to receive my mother of the year certificate but AIBU to think that I didn't deserve to be humiliated either?

OP posts:
pinkyredrose · 27/02/2017 18:15

YANBU she had no reason to talk to you like that when you were only trying to do the right thing. If there's a next time keep the swag!

GeekyWombat · 27/02/2017 18:16

At the point where you've paid for them surely you've not stolen them?!

Was this an independent type shop or a chain?

SmokingGun · 27/02/2017 18:16

Why were you not allowed to keep them after you have paid for them, that makes no sense at all. I wouldn't worry about it OP, a mistake was made, you did all you could to resolve it. Very strange reaction from the shop staff though

scurryfunge · 27/02/2017 18:17

I can't see how when you paid for them you were not allowed to keep the items? Is it a national chain? If so, speak to a representative. It's hardly theft.

DearMrDilkington · 27/02/2017 18:17

What a ridiculous reaction to something that probably happens daily in a lot of shops. I'd complain about her attitude personally.

Lovewineandchocs · 27/02/2017 18:17

Did you make a complaint?

originalbiglymavis · 27/02/2017 18:18

But you paid for them. It's not her job to dole out punishment.

gtyrfctsrght · 27/02/2017 18:18

I'd complain about her as effectively she has now stolen YOUR property!

And let's be honest, who checks the bottom of the buggy?

Bambambini · 27/02/2017 18:18

You're lucky she didn't call the cops.

KanyesVest · 27/02/2017 18:18

If your dd is in a buggy, she's surely too young to understand stealing??

Wheredidallthejaffacakesgo · 27/02/2017 18:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Astoria7974 · 27/02/2017 18:18

She comitted fraud by not letting you have the goods you paid for - she has actually broken the law here. Contact the store and threaten legal involvement if they don't view the cctv footage

Whatsername17 · 27/02/2017 18:19

Did you point out that you discovered the issue after you left the shop and you didn't have to come back? Ridiculous behaviour from the shopkeeper. And, once you'd paid you were absolutely entitled to keep them! Never shop there again!

rollmeover · 27/02/2017 18:19

Seriously? Your toddler (I am assuming she is if in a buggy) "stole" so something and when you paid for it you couldn't keep it? What sort of mentalness is that?

Your daughter is a child and under the age of criminal responsibility so can't actually steal anything anyway! Bloody cheek, go back and speak to the manager and complain.

Obviously if your daughter is 16 and NT. that would put a different spin on things......

QueenofLouisiana · 27/02/2017 18:19

Ummm- if you've paid for them surely they are now yours? She has stolen them from you!

I came on thinking the DC would be about 10, but in this case I think you did the right thing and could have done without a lecture. YANBU.

troodiedoo · 27/02/2017 18:19

That's terrible they have effectively stolen from you now! In the grand scheme of things not worth the fight I guess, but I would complain to the manager.

TheWeeBabySeamus1 · 27/02/2017 18:20

Wow, complete overreaction. I'd be tempted to go back and demand a refund or the goods back - you paid for them and she'd said that they couldn't be sold again so what is she going to do? Keep them for herself? That seems a lot more dishonest than you not noticing a toddler picking something off a shelf.

SenoritaViva · 27/02/2017 18:20

I was all ready to say YABU but you definitely aren't. You confessed and paid up. Horrible woman, you could've not come back at all.

TealStar · 27/02/2017 18:21

My god, the woman sounds deranged. Op you did the honest thing here and she had no right to treat you like that!

PumpkinPie2016 · 27/02/2017 18:21

YANBU - presumably, your child is only young if they are in a buggy so they weren't stealing in the adult sense of the word - they don't understand.

At least you want back and paid - many wouldn't have bothered!

Complain if you can.

SookiesSocks · 27/02/2017 18:21

She erm stole from you.

You paid for the goods they belonged to you so in the end she was the thief. Grin

If you can, complain to the store otherwise put it down to experience.

Soubriquet · 27/02/2017 18:21

That's awful

And yes complain

She shouldn't be keeping your purchases

user1471548375 · 27/02/2017 18:21

I agree with PP a child in a buggy unlikely has any concept of stealing - it was a mistake you put right. I'd be complaining about that treatment, she sounds like a right bitch.

John4703 · 27/02/2017 18:22

YANBU. Years ago my daughter aged 12 or 13 went with her brother to the shops, he has some learning difficulties. I had a phone call from a shop as he had walked out with some pencils and pens and my daughter had gone after him with other stuff in her hands.
The manager said the policy was to prosecute every shop lifer but he could see that this was an error and so I paid for the goods which we kept and left. Both children learned a lot from that.

AlmostAJillSandwich · 27/02/2017 18:22

I'd love to know what "punishment" she gets for stealing YOUR items! Once you paid they belonged to you, so by not letting you take them she's stolen your property and is legally speaking, a thief. Makes her no better than your DD, worse because she's old enough to know what she did was wrong!