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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think the shop assistant was a bit harsh about my dc stealing.

195 replies

Isabellaandthepotofbasil · 27/02/2017 18:13

We were out shopping at the weekend and I went into a shop with dd in the buggy . The shop has quite narrow aisles and the one I needed had a pillar in the middle so I parked dd up at the end and nipped down the aisle to get what I wanted, paid and we left. Yesterday morning I was cleaning the bottom of the buggy and I found a lipstick and two nail varnishes. Dd must have reached out from under the rain cover and picked them off the shelf whilst I was down the aisle! Obviously I'm mortified!

So I went back to the shop today with the stuff, offered to pay or return it and apologised profusely. The woman was awful to me. What kind of person let's their kids steal... I really should have checked before I left etc. She said they couldn't take the lipstick and nail varnish back in case I'd tampered with them. I said that I would pay for them so she scanned them through, I paid and I went to pick them up when she said that there was no way I could have them, she said 'did you really expect to be able get away with stealing them then get to keep them!'.

Now I didn't go in expecting to receive my mother of the year certificate but AIBU to think that I didn't deserve to be humiliated either?

OP posts:
Nanny0gg · 27/02/2017 20:34

Why would you not complain?

sibys1 · 27/02/2017 20:42

Yeah, I can see that the OP hasn't complained. I really think she should. The shop assistant committed theft, simple as.

mummabubs · 27/02/2017 20:42

I'd 100% complain, as others have said she illegally stole from you by not giving you goods that you'd paid for!!! Doesn't surprise me it's Superdrug- I got my first job with them when I was 16 and lasted less than 3 months; the way they treat their staff is appalling and the manager/assistant manager of my store were Satan in disguise, horrible, bitchy and treated me and the other underling sales assistants like crap. (That was 12 years ago now and I can honestly say I've never shopped in Superdrug since!)

Pinotwoman82 · 27/02/2017 20:43

Please please complain!! You could email their Facebook page

GabsAlot · 27/02/2017 20:46

whoever said its bad policy i doubt it is their policy just some jumped up SA on a power trip

dont let this go op-yes it probably happens alot but u dont treat people who bring somehting back like this

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 27/02/2017 20:52

Definitely complain to head office, but give them a chance to answer/investigate before taking to Facebook/twitter.

PossumInAPearTree · 27/02/2017 21:06

I think Superdrug do get a lot of thefts. It's the only place I get tailed by staff, normally when I'm rootling through the makeup to try and find unused ones.

I agree that she's the one who has stolen from you though. She's totally over reacted.

MammyNeedsASpaDay · 27/02/2017 21:19

Complain!

You have not committed a theft as you haven't dishonestly appropriated the property. When you realised you had it you went back and paid for it.

You paid for the goods, they are your goods and this lady needs some serious training. This is beyond ridiculous.

Please complain to Superdrug.

MaudOnceMore · 27/02/2017 21:21

Ha! When my daughter was a toddler in the buggy she stole some hair bobbles from Superdrug - we only realised when we were some way from the shop that she was clutching them proudly. By the time we got back to the shop, they were shutting (although staff were still on the shopfloor) and it took a lot of hammering on the door before someone would open up and take them back. I got the impression then that they'd rather have a bit of toddler shoplifting than spend two minutes dealing with it.

Mynestisfullofempty · 27/02/2017 21:21

The assistant was obviously too thick too understand that thieves don't bring things back and apologise (complete with an explanation that a toddler took them without their knowledge) and offer to pay! That the assistant took payment and then refused to hand the items over is impossible to understand.

MaudOnceMore · 27/02/2017 21:23

Why has S u p e r d r u g turned into a link? Is this some MN marketing tie-in?

NeedsAsockamnesty · 27/02/2017 21:31

It's not the person in the shop's place to decide on a punishment for you, however I think you should realise that she could have decided to phone the police instead. You didn't do anything intentionally wrong and legal action would probably not have got very far at all, but she would be entitled to call the police and let them decide for themselves. In the circumstances you've got off lightly and dodged a police investigation that nobody particularly needs

She could but they would laugh at her.

She would be reporting a person returning something a toddler picked up!

gillybeanz · 27/02/2017 21:31

My ds2 did this in a supermarket once.
We lived miles away in the country and years before deliveries.
I got home and he'd stolen a Police car, ironically.
It wasn't even small, it was boxed.
Had no idea he had done it and friend who'd been elsewhere loaded the car and just presumed I'd bought it.
I called the shop immediately and explained I couldn't return it until tomorrow and they were great.
When I returned it customer service rang for security guard as he had to do a short statement, report thing.
He told me if everyone brought back what a small child had taken, they'd need a team to deal with it.
Ds2 was 3 at the time and the security guard was brilliant with him and explained that we have to pay for things we want, and not to take them again, but ask mummy or daddy. What a star.

Bunnyfuller · 27/02/2017 21:35

Part of definition of theft, in law: intend to permanently deprive'. You did not, there was no intent, you took them back voluntarily and paid for them.

What a horrible creature, I bet SHE kept them!!!

ChameleonCircuit · 27/02/2017 21:39

Well someone's beaten me to @superdrughelp on twitter. Grin

Nocabbageinmyeye · 27/02/2017 21:46

someone needs a lesson in customer service and told to come down off their power trip

Mynestisfullofempty · 27/02/2017 21:48

IMO it would be a complete waste of time for the police to have been called when they could have been better occupied trying to catch actual criminals. All that was needed is for the assistant to have accepted the items back with a smile and just be pleasant. If the OP hadn't been so honest she would have kept the items even though she was unaware her toddler had taken them at the time. In fact, many people who wouldn't ever shoplift might well have decided they couldn't be bothered to go back to the shop with them once they discovered them in the pushchair.

The police would surely have understood the very basic and very obvious fact that thieves do not return the things they've stolen to the shop with an apology! It's not complicated.

AwaywiththePixies27 · 27/02/2017 21:53

Possum I get tailed in Waitrose. Every time. By the same security guard. In the same shop. I nip in for a treat on the way home from one of my appointments on the same day every fortnight. You can set your watch by him. I've never stolen anything from there (or anywhere else either) but for some reason I just don't 'look right' / look shifty to him. Confused

I never complain. I get a smug sense of satisfaction when I breeze by him with all my paid for stuff. I think it's just the overzealous people amongst the decent ones.

happymumof4crazykids · 27/02/2017 21:56

What a bitch! I would have pointed out I'd paid for them and taken them! How on earth did you keep your cool?

caffeinequick · 27/02/2017 22:02

What an over reaction! My Ds at 11m stole three bottle openers once from an independent store. When I took them back the shop keepers thought it was hilarious :)

AwaywiththePixies27 · 27/02/2017 22:02

Ds2 was 3 at the time and the security guard was brilliant with him and explained that we have to pay for things we want, and not to take them again, but ask mummy or daddy. What a star

gillybeans that's lovely. I've had similar. DS nicked a packet of starburst once. I wasn't even aware of it until we was sat down for lunch later and he pulled the half eaten packet of sweets out of his pocket Shock (I very rarely let them have sweets on account of mine being so bad - trying not to let history repeat itself).

I took them back. Paid for them. I can't actually remember if they let us keep them or not as it was a good few years ago now. But DS and I apologised and it was all forgotten about and they kindly told him to always ask mummy before taking anything. I think it helped they knew about his AS but still professional.

This Superdrug thing though is a complete overreaction.

MycatsaPirate · 27/02/2017 22:04

Fuck that! Go back, get that haridan's name and report her to head office. That is fucking disgusting!!

When DD2 was about 18 months I was in Thorntons and she had a wrist strap on attached to me. I was paying for some stuff and then turned to leave. The lady behind me said 'you may want to check her your child's pockets'. DD had been pulling those tiny chocolates out of a display bowl and filling her pockets, she had them up her sleeves, down her coat. I literally had to do a full body pat down with chocolates falling out of everywhere. Utterly mortified but the shop staff were in hysterics.

Point being that your DD is not a thief. She's a very small child who saw something and wanted to put it somewhere else. It's what kids do. That woman treated you like shit and then kept your stuff after you'd paid for it.

Do not let this drop.

JamDonutsRule · 27/02/2017 22:08

Kick up a massive shitstorm at Superdrug HQ OP, that is totally not on!!

fannydaggerz · 27/02/2017 22:12

Has the shop assistant not stolen from you but not giving you the items you paid for?

ICantFindAFreeNickName2 · 27/02/2017 22:12

What a dreadful way to treat an honest customer.
A few months ago, my dd and I had a couple of beauty treatments each, that I paid for. But a couple of weeks later when I checked my credit card bill, I realized I had only paid for one lot of treatments. When we were next at the salon, I mentioned it to them and paid the extra money. The therapist was so amazed that I was honest and told them, that she gave me a voucher for a free massage.