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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think the shop assistant was a bit harsh about my dc stealing.

195 replies

Isabellaandthepotofbasil · 27/02/2017 18:13

We were out shopping at the weekend and I went into a shop with dd in the buggy . The shop has quite narrow aisles and the one I needed had a pillar in the middle so I parked dd up at the end and nipped down the aisle to get what I wanted, paid and we left. Yesterday morning I was cleaning the bottom of the buggy and I found a lipstick and two nail varnishes. Dd must have reached out from under the rain cover and picked them off the shelf whilst I was down the aisle! Obviously I'm mortified!

So I went back to the shop today with the stuff, offered to pay or return it and apologised profusely. The woman was awful to me. What kind of person let's their kids steal... I really should have checked before I left etc. She said they couldn't take the lipstick and nail varnish back in case I'd tampered with them. I said that I would pay for them so she scanned them through, I paid and I went to pick them up when she said that there was no way I could have them, she said 'did you really expect to be able get away with stealing them then get to keep them!'.

Now I didn't go in expecting to receive my mother of the year certificate but AIBU to think that I didn't deserve to be humiliated either?

OP posts:
ThatsPlenty · 27/02/2017 18:36

You are not guilty of anything like that, but the inconvenience and embarrassment of the shopkeeper humiliating you is nothing compared to the potential police action she could have landed you with.

Bit dramatic there barinatxe. I doubt the police would be interested in someone bringing BACK and BUYING goods that were innocently taken by a 16 month old baby.

Merrylegs · 27/02/2017 18:36

Ha ha this is brilliantly bonkers. It couldn't be more illogical. Poor girl, I'm imagining her standing there after you had left trying to work out what had just happened and then slapping her head 'doh'.
Great story

Puddington · 27/02/2017 18:36

some mothers "train" their young child to pick out certain things and stash them in the pushchair

And again, we actually do have issues with this (one known shoplifter in the area regularly uses a big buggy to stash all her stolen clothes in) but no thief would willingly return things and "admit" to stealing them surely.

Littledrummergirl · 27/02/2017 18:36

If that's superdrug policy then it's shit. Definitely complain, I would go straight to head office as they set the policy.

You were clearly being more honest than a vast number of people who wouldn't have returned them, she should have been thanking you.

PerspicaciaTick · 27/02/2017 18:36

So they can't sell the items, but they aren't letting you keep them now you've bought them?
Yep, I reckon they went straight in the assistant's pocket.
Presumably you still have your timestamped receipt? I bet they still have the CCTV. I'd be complaining.

P.S. I don't think you can talk about a 16 month old stealing, they don't have to developmental understanding to know it is theft and wrong.

LadyPW · 27/02/2017 18:37

I came on thinking the DC would be about 10, but in this case I think you did the right thing and could have done without a lecture. YANBU.
^^ This

booellesmum · 27/02/2017 18:39

When mine were small I regularly left sainsburys only to discover they were holding something I hadn't paid for.
Never a problem going back to explain and pay.
I think you should definitely complain to head office.....and shop in sainsburys instead.

DoveBlue · 27/02/2017 18:40

I did some thing similar in Asda recently with similar aged child. Did full shop paid and got to car putting things in boot come across something under blanket around child in trolley. Realised as not in a bag it hasn't gone through till (i wanted it just kid had obviously snaffled it out of trolley and hidden it). We go back in security guard says weren't you just here. I smiled and said yes but this was under the blanket and didn't go through till so popping back to pay for it. She said thank you most people wouldn't be so honest. I paid at the self service till said bye cheerily to security guard (my toddlers waving to her) and left! Such a contrast to your experience OP. She WBU. I believe if the police were called they'd have more to say to the shop assistant rather than the honest OP trying to make it right.

Bluefluff · 27/02/2017 18:40

YANBU these things happen, and you did the right thing by being honest and going back to the shop

daisychain01 · 27/02/2017 18:40

However you would be amazed as to how many people use small DC and buggies to actually steal

But the point of this thread is that the OP went into the store with the goods, apologised, offered to pay and was insulted by the shop assistant and treated like a criminal, despite her actions eradicating that possibility.

It is irrelevant what other people choose with their DC and buggies, it doesn't apply to the OP!

MyKidsHaveTakenMySanity · 27/02/2017 18:40

What's funny here is that if, no, WHEN you complain to Superdrug they will be appalled and you will of course be refunded (as you had the items stolen from you by their employee) and most likely end up with extra vouchers as an apology.

If they aren't apologetic (which I highly, highly doubt) then complain via Facebook and twitter.

As a pp said, stealing is defined by intent to permanently deprive. A 16 month old picking items up and the mother returning with them with the offer to pay is anything but stealing.

Contrary to what another op said, you weren't lucky the police weren't called. Had they been summoned the shopkeeper would have been told off for wasting their time. The police can tell the difference between a shoplifter and a baby.

Complain. Now.

CheersMedea · 27/02/2017 18:41

100% complain to Superdrug.

If I were on Twitter, I'd send their official twitter (if they have one which I assume they do) a link to this thread.

Everything about that interaction is disgraceful - not least the refusal to give you what you paid for - quite apart from it hardly encourages honesty does it? Reading this, any mother in the same position would just keep the items rather than avoid the aggro.

PossumInAPearTree · 27/02/2017 18:41

"Can't sell the items"

80% of the makeup in Superdrug has been used already because either they don't have enough testers or teenage girls are too thick to work out which is the tester and open everything in sight. I usually have to dig through to find something not sealed and often I give up and just buy the one which looks least used.

DontBuyANewMumCashmere · 27/02/2017 18:42

Copper here.
You did not intend to permanently deprive them of the goods, so neither you nor your daughter have stolen anything.

If I've read this right, the woman has made you pay for the goods and then withheld them from you?
Therefore she has appropriated them from you and presumably intends to permanently deprive you of them.

She's the fucking thief. I'd be fucking raging. Letter to branch, head office, social media etc.

What a cow.

orangepudding · 27/02/2017 18:42

Contact Superdrug head office and ask what their policy is in this type of situation. The sales assistant stole from you.
I really expected the response you had was from an independent shop not a high street chain!

Beeziekn33ze · 27/02/2017 18:42

She sounds horrible, even (especially!) if she turns out to be the manager I think head office need to know.

daisychain01 · 27/02/2017 18:42

OP hold your head high and highlight this situation to Head Office. Otherwise what's the point of good people like you correcting a genuine circumstance.

You could have just kept 20 quids (or whatever) worth of goods and nobody would have been any the wiser Flowers

lalalalyra · 27/02/2017 18:43

You are not guilty of anything like that, but the inconvenience and embarrassment of the shopkeeper humiliating you is nothing compared to the potential police action she could have landed you with.

What police action could they have landed a 16 month old child with? Given that the child is the "thief" and the OP is simply the person returning the items the "thief" took?

OP you really should complain to Superdrug. I'd be very interested to know what she did with the stuff that you paid for, and I bet her bosses will be too.

SaltedCaramelEverything · 27/02/2017 18:44

Print out this thread and send to head office! Unbelievable you didn't get to keep the stuff (I'd love to know whether your dd has good taste in her selections!).

Oh and ofc YANBU!!! Well done for going back - think I'd have been too embarrassed!

Lemondrop09 · 27/02/2017 18:45

Total overreaction on the shop's part! These things happen with kids, you DD didn't know she was doing wrong and you didn't know she had them till you got home. The shop is lucky you went back, many people wouldn't have bothered. You should have been thanked for your honesty. I'm appalled that you had the goods conviscayed after you paid for them!!

And yes, some people use small children to steal. But I don't think those people walk back into the shop, confess and offer to pay. So clearly the OP wasn't such a person.

I'd complain OP. Disgraceful attitude.

Owlish · 27/02/2017 18:46

Superdrug are on Twitter and I've found them to be pretty responsive to questions.

Esspee · 27/02/2017 18:46

Complain, complain, complain. How you were treated is disgraceful. Most of us would be too mortified to take the items back. You were exceptionally decent in returning the items and deserved to be treated extremely well.
I suggest you name the store so we know to avoid.

GabsAlot · 27/02/2017 18:47

definitely complain noone has the right to talk to u like that

u should have asked for her manager to sort it out she has no authiority to deal with it

raspberrysuicide · 27/02/2017 18:48

I would have kept them

Serialweightwatcher · 27/02/2017 18:48

What a stupid cow that woman is ...... you had the decency to go in and explain, when let's be honest not everyone would - she gets you to pay, is rude and then keeps the goods that you paid for - diabolical. She should have thanked you for your honesty. Are you expected to strip search toddlers every time you go in anywhere - it happens and you were decent and she was a bitch. You should have demanded the goods back when you'd paid