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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel fed up of being broke all the time !

78 replies

babyinarms · 21/02/2017 09:57

Feeling very down today . I know I have a lot to be greatful for but I'm sick and tired of having no money. After bills and groceries etc are paid there's nothing left !!! Dh works full time, I work part time and we have 3 dcs ! We never go out and rarely buy stuff for ourselves. We're not in any way extravagant. We have 2 ( old) cars but need them to enable us to work. How do others manage ????...would love a life back. Here today on my own. Kids at school....I've no money to go anywhere. ..can't even afford the petrol. I'm not saying we are poor or anything.....debts under control.... but just nothing left at the end of the week....and no savings whatsoever ! Anyone else the same..... aibu....to be fed up .....or just being self indulgent 😕

OP posts:
Original poster
babyinarms · 21/02/2017 10:10

Bump

OP posts:
2014newme · 21/02/2017 10:14

I see my kids as an extravagance! Kids are expensive and I only have two. Promotion to a better paid job is the best option.

frenchfancy · 21/02/2017 10:14

You are not alone. We are putting Dd1 through uni at the moment. No spare cash left for anything else.

Chocolatecake12 · 21/02/2017 10:14

Could you plan a boot fair for extra money? Or sell things via Facebook or eBay?

I'm in the same situation and it's a struggle, I'm always declining invites out and work dos because I just don't have the money.

Lilaclily · 21/02/2017 10:15

Have you considered going full time ?

Could you do something else to earn money on the days you're at home like today like ironing, cleaning, gardening etc

Mittensonastring · 21/02/2017 10:16

Is there any light at the end of thetunnel? Are you in jobs that have any prospects whatsoever? I did shit like study in the evenings for about 6 years for professional exams to enhance my career. It was hard work I'm not going to lie but worth it. I grew up in a household with 5 other dc so money was short, it made me determined not to be poor so I started off money making while still a teenager.

Your allowed to moan for sure I remember being poor as a child but any plans to change it?

TinklyLittleLaugh · 21/02/2017 10:18

Have you tried the whole spreadsheet thing to try and squeeze out a bit more money? Or maybe a small job to earn a bit more cash, babysitting once a month or something?

You do have my sympathy though, times are hard for a lot of people.

Original poster
babyinarms · 21/02/2017 10:19

I wish I could get a better paid job .... less hours wld be nice too 😉! ... yes kids are an extravagance 2014.... seem to take every penny we have ... between school, clothes, activities....u r right !!
Chocolate cake, I'm the same, seem to refusing a lor of nights out etc. ...making excuses cos I can't afford to go. .... hopefully it's a phase 😕....but it's lasting a long time.
French fancy....might see if I've some things I can sell alright ! ... might help us get over a hump !

OP posts:
user1477282676 · 21/02/2017 10:19

YANBU but do you REALLY need two cars? Really and truly? Or could you maybe ride a bike or walk or get a bus? You or DH?

Efferlunt · 21/02/2017 10:22

Oh the other hand without wishing to come across as insensitive I would kill for a day off doing nothing. We are not badly off for money but work like nutters for the privilege. I was up until 3 last night working, I've dropped the kids off at holiday club and picking up where I left off. I haven't had and opportunity to do housework for days we are basically knee deep in our own crap. I imagine this evening will be the same as yesterday in that when the kids get home I have to plonk them I front of the telly for a couple of hours so I can meet some deadlines. It basically sucks.

Original poster
babyinarms · 21/02/2017 10:24

Tinky I write everything down .... keep track of all outgoings and incomings. ... it's just not balancing !
Mitten I can't work any more hours cos my Dh works away and the kids wld be in childcare for too many hours, that wouldn't be fair on them and we just couldnt afford it. I might look into online courses, I can't do college based ones as I couldn't get there every week, as Dh is away so much.
Tiny, maybe a sideline might help, ....might loo into house cleaning or ironing etc...some good suggestions !

OP posts:
formerbabe · 21/02/2017 10:25

We are not badly off for money but work like nutters for the privilege.

Yes and plenty of people "work like nutters" and are still skint. Working hard doesn't always equal financial success.

user1477282676 · 21/02/2017 10:27

FormerBabe Well said.

People who say "We work hard for our money" and expect everyone to be able to earn well by working hard, have never been trapped in a low income job with no security and little chance of time to get more qualifications.

CremeEggThief · 21/02/2017 10:27

How many activities do your kids do? Could you cut back there? Maybe 1 a week each.

BarbaraofSeville · 21/02/2017 10:27

How long will the debts take to pay off and will things be better after that?

Have you had proper advice on paying back your debts, to reduce interest and make sure you are doing it right? Credit cards charge very high interest and often the minimum payment barely covers the interest so people can pay loads for years and get nowhere so just plugging away isn't always the best solution.

Look on the debt free wannabe section of moneysavingexpert for tailored advice.

Original poster
babyinarms · 21/02/2017 10:30

User, yes we need 2 cars cos Dh works away and needs his car to get there. We live in a country area so bus services not very good. ...I couldn't get to work on time and I couldnt get kids to school without a car. We've thought about it but really can't do without them 😕
I know efferunt ...most days I'm fine and grateful, just broke at the moment and feeling the pinch. I know u work hard to make it work , so do we. I would work more hours but with Dh working away so much , the kids would never see us. So I suppose this is the price we pay for him working away. It hard for everyone to get the work ^life balance right.

OP posts:
TinklyLittleLaugh · 21/02/2017 10:32

Oh we've been there Baby, when you do the ingoings and outgoings and just can't get them to match up.

Look at your assets; you have free hours while your kids are in school, you have a car sitting on tour drive, you have (presumably) your health. You could get £7 or £8 an hour for cleaning or some sort of carer role. Why not try putting up a few postcards locally or even joining an agency?

user1477282676 · 21/02/2017 10:32

Are there buses though? Sometimes it's a case of adjusting your lifestyle. I used to leave earlier than I would have to with a car...ctch the bus and that saved a lot of money.

Efferlunt · 21/02/2017 10:34

Umm formerbabe I never suggested that Working hard = financial success. I know some people work their arses off for a pittance including close family members. Was just trying to explain that 'get a better job' suggestions on here are not actually a route to some kind of dream life. Way to leap to a conclusion. Another example of the professionally offended on Mumsnet.

Original poster
babyinarms · 21/02/2017 10:36

Barbara.... we have a large credit card bill alright and a couple of loans ! That's what is really eating into the budget at the moment. Am in process of switching to 0% credit card...that shold help.
Creme yes I should probably cut back on activities. Football and girlguides are cheap activitie's but drama for my dad is expensive and so is music for ds.....a review is probably needed alright 🙁

OP posts:
Original poster
babyinarms · 21/02/2017 10:37

Drama for dd not dad 😄

OP posts:
Efferlunt · 21/02/2017 10:38

And sorry baby if my post could be interpreted as I think you are not working hard. I'm not even one of those people who thinks hard work is some kind of amazing virtue. For what it's worth I think you have got you priorities right and mine went wrong so where along the way.

Must get back to it.

formerbabe · 21/02/2017 10:38

Umm formerbabe I never suggested that Working hard = financial success. I know some people work their arses off for a pittance including close family members. Was just trying to explain that 'get a better job' suggestions on here are not actually a route to some kind of dream life. Way to leap to a conclusion. Another example of the professionally offended on Mumsnet

I'm not offended, but it is a common misconception generally that people can improve their situation by "working harder". I see it a lot on MN from posters saying they are well off because they work hard.

The issue isn't that people don't work hard enough..The issue is that wages in this country are ridiculously low and cost of living high. A couple with a full time working dad and a mum working part time should be able to have a decent standard of living.

Original poster
babyinarms · 21/02/2017 10:39

User....I need to be to work for 7am. I leave home at 6.15am for that. First bus is at 7.45am. And no bus route to kids school and no school bus for our area.

OP posts:
Gowgirl · 21/02/2017 10:42

Springs coming op, things always look better in the sunshine! Make yourself a cup of tea and clear out a cupboard or drawer that's pissing you off, little things can sometimes help

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