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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel fed up of being broke all the time !

78 replies

babyinarms · 21/02/2017 09:57

Feeling very down today . I know I have a lot to be greatful for but I'm sick and tired of having no money. After bills and groceries etc are paid there's nothing left !!! Dh works full time, I work part time and we have 3 dcs ! We never go out and rarely buy stuff for ourselves. We're not in any way extravagant. We have 2 ( old) cars but need them to enable us to work. How do others manage ????...would love a life back. Here today on my own. Kids at school....I've no money to go anywhere. ..can't even afford the petrol. I'm not saying we are poor or anything.....debts under control.... but just nothing left at the end of the week....and no savings whatsoever ! Anyone else the same..... aibu....to be fed up .....or just being self indulgent 😕

OP posts:
Original poster
babyinarms · 21/02/2017 11:03

Might just rip up that credit card !!

OP posts:
nannybeach · 21/02/2017 11:03

Sign up to Martin Lewis money expert, download Greg Wallace, "how to eat well for less". It is possible, you say you are managing but have debt and credit cards. When I met my 2nd H, I had house re-possessed after 1st H tried to kill me, 3 kids, we had 1 together, bought his council house, 4 weeks later he was made redundant, worked full time nights, often having a day job as well. The credit card paid for Christmas Birthday presents for DH family, we paid it off, told them we werent buying presents anymore or Christmas, MIL didnt speak to us for nearly 2 years because of this. Ridiculous getting into debt for other people.It was very hard for a few years. We sold this house, downsized to a tiny unmodernised cottage, which we paid cash for, did it up as and when we could get together the next bit of money.

OneWithTheForce · 21/02/2017 11:04

Helpful rainbows! Which one of her Dc should OP send back to the maternity ward?

Bluebellevergreen · 21/02/2017 11:04

rainbows I think the OP works part time, which is why she needs the car

Original poster
babyinarms · 21/02/2017 11:05

I know Rainbow..... wouldn't change the kids for the world ..... I know we have many luxuries.... need to cut back .... if the loans were under Co tr we'd get on track I'm sure of it....as I said, just a bad here, most days are fine !

OP posts:
grannytomine · 21/02/2017 11:06

babyinarms, I was thinking of DLA and I know someone else has just mentioned it. It is worth a try. Also have you talked to school? He should be getting some support there, can any of the therapies be done through school. One of my kids is a SENCO, the sort who fights tooth and nail to get everything they can for their kids. Send me a PM if there is anything you want me to find out from them.

BarbaraofSeville · 21/02/2017 11:06

Buses are hopeless and expensive outside big cities.

No bus, one or two buses a week on market day only, two-hourly bus to the next village half an hour's walk away, that sort of thing.

Completely impractical for any sort of normal life and more expensive than the car if more than one person is travelling.

formerbabe · 21/02/2017 11:07

Three children, two cars and one adult working just part time is a huge amount of luxuries. Children come with lots of expenses, hence many stop at one or two

What a pointless comment.

creaser · 21/02/2017 11:07

Definitely cut up the credit card if you combine them don't get in a cycle just focus on the money they save.

If your only spending for extra stuff on the card it'll be fine if it's your food shop petrol etc you need some advice Smile

Original poster
babyinarms · 21/02/2017 11:08

OMG Nanny....sorry to hear you've been through so much but glad u back on track.....with a lot of hard work. Will look into those websites .

OP posts:
Original poster
babyinarms · 21/02/2017 11:09

Creaser it started as extras but lately it's groceries and petrol etc.....

OP posts:
Original poster
babyinarms · 21/02/2017 11:09

Rainbow....I work part time also.

OP posts:
grannytomine · 21/02/2017 11:11

babyinarms, just one more thought. I know paying off the debts is a priority but if you can budget so that there is a little bit of slack it makes it bearable. Maybe accepting that it is going to take an extra six months to clear the debts but in the meantime you can afford the occasional night out, or even just going out for a coffee with a friend on your day off can make it so much easier. Good luck, I remember crying when I was 18 with a baby and didn't have the bus far to go to see my mum. Seems a long time ago as I sit here with the mortgage paid and the kids independent but you will get there.

Original poster
babyinarms · 21/02/2017 11:12

Thanks granny....ds gets resource in school . They are very good with him. We live in Ireland, so the system is probably a bit different. Am going to look into dla( dca here).... just lone it up and can get it if working but difficult enough to get. Fingers crossed.

OP posts:
Original poster
babyinarms · 21/02/2017 11:13

Thanks granny.... will look to the future x

OP posts:
grannytomine · 21/02/2017 11:14

My fingers are crossed for you and one things for sure you won't get it if you don't ask so nothing to lose. Good luck.

Olympiathequeen · 21/02/2017 11:15

It's always very hard when children are small, especially with 3. I think most people accept it's a hard financially and just organise what money they do have as best they can.

If you choose to spend what you can't afford it gets more stressful than it's worth. Reorganise your finances and enjoy cheaper options with your children.

NameChangeNoreen · 21/02/2017 11:17

I'm in pretty much the same position at the moment and can't increase my hours at work as my DH works away too.

I started an OU degree in October last year. It will take six years to complete but will be so worth it in the end and I'll have finished my first year in May (I can't believe how quick it's gone!) so I'll have the whole summer study free until I start my second year in Oct.

Once I've completed my degree and the DC are a little older I'll be hopefully be able to get a higher paid job and we'll be in a much better position than we are now.

I do get down sometimes about not having the money to do nice things but, now we've made a plan for the long term I feel much more positive.

Bumbumtaloo · 21/02/2017 11:20

Definitely look into DLA also are you entitled to carers allowance? It's £62.10 per week if you spend over 37hrs per week specifically looking after your child's needs.

Look at the entitled to website it's very good.

Bumbumtaloo · 21/02/2017 11:23

Sorry should have said I'm not sure if you have to receive certain benefits (DLA etc) before you can claim carers allowance, I'm in receipt of PiP and ESA and my husband gets carers allowance.

Char22thom · 21/02/2017 11:24

Really hope the dla suggestion comes good for you baby. I know exactly how you feel as I am feeling the same, and for the most part its ok to be positive, get on with it etc but once in a while it gets too much doesn't it? I had a total meltdown a week before Xmas when car failed its mot and needs £400 work on it, wiped out our Xmas pot completely as need my car for work like you. Started this year determined not to be in that again and have began clawing back money, selling things off etc and am doing well so far, but it is not easy when we usually get to the end of the month with no money in the bank or any savings at all. Just trying to keep focussed and seems to be working as saved a few hundred quid so far, keep going you will get there xx

ChocolateSherberts2017 · 21/02/2017 11:32

Are you claiming DLA for your son as he has autism, you can claim online. Are any of the therapies that you pay for available on the NHS/ autistic charity like NAS or at a subsidised rate?

www.gov.uk/disability-living-allowance-children/overview

Go through all your utilities/mortgage/ cards and switch to better rates. I just switched my mortgage rate from a standard variable rate to a fixed rate and saved myself £150.

Sign up with top cashback and do all your online shopping through that to earn cash back.

Switch supermarkets to Aldi, Lidl or Morrisonsif nearby or switch to own branded food to get best deals.

Book a stall at your local nearly new sale/ car boot sale and clear out cupboards of old things to raise cash.

Get a savings tin that you need a can opener to open and save £2 coins only. Use that for day trips and treats.

CremeEggThief · 21/02/2017 11:46

Babyinarms, you'd be welcome to join us on the Frugaleers threads on the Credit Crunch forum on Mumsnet. Lots of us are battling debt,cutting back and generally embracing being frugal. We have some Irish posters too, who would probably be of most help (I'm Irish, but living in England for 20 years).

margewiththebluehair · 21/02/2017 11:47

To have an autistic child is already hard, but coupled with financial struggles. This is really tough - more work for you is unrealistic.

What you lack is a clear hope and plan for the future. Paying off debt is a good plan and consolidating loans or using cards is a good step. The key really is to save the savings you make, rather than immediately treat yourselves.

As flippant as it sounds, I would really suggest DH looks for a higher paying job - because your life is unsustainable as it is.