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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel fed up of being broke all the time !

78 replies

babyinarms · 21/02/2017 09:57

Feeling very down today . I know I have a lot to be greatful for but I'm sick and tired of having no money. After bills and groceries etc are paid there's nothing left !!! Dh works full time, I work part time and we have 3 dcs ! We never go out and rarely buy stuff for ourselves. We're not in any way extravagant. We have 2 ( old) cars but need them to enable us to work. How do others manage ????...would love a life back. Here today on my own. Kids at school....I've no money to go anywhere. ..can't even afford the petrol. I'm not saying we are poor or anything.....debts under control.... but just nothing left at the end of the week....and no savings whatsoever ! Anyone else the same..... aibu....to be fed up .....or just being self indulgent 😕

OP posts:
Original poster
babyinarms · 21/02/2017 10:45

No offence taken efferlunt. We're all trying to make the best of what we have. Just a bad day here....feel g overwhelmed and swamped, as I say most days are fine. My oldest ds has autism also, so I pay for a lot of therapies for him and that minimises the hours I can work also as he needs me around due to his anxiety levels and appointments.

OP posts:
Tinkerbec · 21/02/2017 10:45

Have you trued the MSE site? There is loadstone of advice on there to spare up money.
If you are brave enough you can post a SOA people really do post some goid advice.

I know how you feel though. It is hard when yiu feel like you are working for little gain with nothing to look forward to.

Bumbumtaloo · 21/02/2017 10:46

It's a horrible situation to be in. When we had dd2 we literally couldn't afford the petrol to get to my part time job when my mat leave ended.

DH changed job we thought that would give us a bit extra but whatever was extra was eaten up in petrol expenses - he would have to drive to wherever he was working that day not to his work if that makes any sense.

In the end I had no choice but to fin another job, which I did. I worked 12hr night shifts on a Friday and Saturday nite, it was exhausting but meant I earned an almost full time wage - actually it may well have been higher than some people earn.

I am now unable to work and my husband is now my carer we do struggle at times, never get a holiday, I buy Christmas and birthday presents throughout the year but we manage.

grannytomine · 21/02/2017 10:47

formerbabe yes you should be able to have a decent standard of living but you don't really have a bad standard of living by alot of people's standards. You have two cars, your kids do football, drama, music and other activities. I don't know about the rest but some people would consider that pretty good and with a daughter who did drama and two instruments I know how much that can cost. I felt rich when she got stuck into A levels and dropped some of the extra stuff.

The loans will get paid,, the kids will get older and you will be able to work more hours. It doesn't last forever, I've been there and survived.

Original poster
babyinarms · 21/02/2017 10:47

Thanks cowgirl. ... very true, having a cuppa now and I'd better get on with the housework 🍵🍵🍵

OP posts:
user1477282676 · 21/02/2017 10:47

Grin Well sending your Dad to drama lessons is a big luxury. Most people just tell theirs to play in the garden.

grannytomine · 21/02/2017 10:48

babyinarms, just saw the bit about your son, are you getting any benefits for him? It could be a big help.

2014newme · 21/02/2017 10:49

If your dh works away all the time then there would be an expectation that his salary would compensate for that.if that's not happening perhaps it's time for him to look for something else.

Original poster
babyinarms · 21/02/2017 10:50

Thanks granny....I know I have a lot to be grateful for. Just a poor me day I guess.... time to dust myself off and get going again ☺

OP posts:
Original poster
babyinarms · 21/02/2017 10:51

Granny. ...no benefits ....didn't think I'd be entitled as we're both working. No therapy's either, paying for them all ourselves.

OP posts:
creaser · 21/02/2017 10:52

Best way to get more out of the budget is to combine debts over a longer period on a lesser rate if possible.

The 0 percent on the credit card is a good idea but look into combining all 3 amounts into 1 loan over say 5 years depending on time left and amounts can sometimes free up between £100 - £200 pounds.

Care don't do this if your close to finishing them but I guess your not or this would free up cash soon anyway.

If you want some free impartial advice on how to manage better try Stepchange free organisation funded by banks etc to help people.

Also how much do you both earn have you checked your not entitled to tax credits to top up your part time wage with 3 kids the amount you can earn and still claim is higher Smile

Original poster
babyinarms · 21/02/2017 10:53

Bumbum and tinker....thanks , feeling better already xxc

OP posts:
Char22thom · 21/02/2017 10:53

Baby are you sure you don't qualify for DLA? That would help, or could sign up for motobility car scheme? x

BarbaraofSeville · 21/02/2017 10:54

Does your DH get decent expenses for working away? That can help if a lot of his food and fuel is paid for, but as long as he claims them properly.

Original poster
babyinarms · 21/02/2017 10:55

Creaser, never thought of combo g the loans. Must look into that. ...we're long way off finishing payment's . Thank u

OP posts:
Bluebellevergreen · 21/02/2017 10:56

user1477282676 drop the bus suggestion! She already said no.
We live in the middle of nowhere and no, without the car we dont have any other transport apart from trains to london after 45 minutes walk (which is my commute) but no option of going to any of the villages around.
Some people need the car

OneWithTheForce · 21/02/2017 10:58

OP if DH works away does that mean he is parking his car in an airport carpark? Or does he need the car to actually meet clients etc?

Original poster
babyinarms · 21/02/2017 10:58

No food or fuel expenses for Dh but he gets an overnight payment. ... that's what keeps our head above water. .. barbara.
Char, I'm not sure, thought not, but will look into dla....thank u .

OP posts:
OneWithTheForce · 21/02/2017 10:59

Definitely look into combining the debts. Even better if you could get it all onto 0% credit card. Some are doing 0% for 41 months which would make a huge difference.

OneWithTheForce · 21/02/2017 11:00

What are each of the debts and how much? What rate etc?

BarbaraofSeville · 21/02/2017 11:00

Be very careful if you consolidate the debts. Many people spend on the credit cards again and end up with credit card debt alongside the big loan that was supposed to pay everything off, ending up in an even bigger mess.

YY re checking DLA and tax credits. My brother's family has 2 DCs, one with autism and they get DLA and some tax credits on a household income of just over £45k.

Original poster
babyinarms · 21/02/2017 11:00

Onewiththeforce. ...he needs it to get from place to place and when I'm working and he's here he needs it for school runs etc .... we have thought about getting rid of one car. ...they eat money but I'd have to give up work and even then I'd have no way to get kids to school .

OP posts:
Original poster
babyinarms · 21/02/2017 11:02

Thanks Barbara. ... we should be entitled so I'd say. ...that wld really help with ds therapies etc.

OP posts:
OneWithTheForce · 21/02/2017 11:02

The price for taxing cars is going to increase this year(I think it's this year) quite a lot, if there is any chance you could change your cars to ones with lower emissions I would do that and always price compare for insurance.

RainbowsAndUnicorn · 21/02/2017 11:02

Three children, two cars and one adult working just part time is a huge amount of luxuries. Children come with lots of expenses, hence many stop at one or two.