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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think people need to get a grip.

105 replies

thunderbuddy · 17/02/2017 21:22

Today a young woman at our local train station died after taking her life in front of a moving train as it pulled into the station in front of a lot of other passengers and people on the platform.

It has been repeatedly explained at the station, on trains, on social media the reasons why the trains were delayed, the reasons why the next trains were busy etc and yet people are still moaning at the stations, on the trains and on social media. People are whining about compensation and money back and how unacceptable it is not to have a contingency of extra staff in case some of them might witness someone take their own life.

I mean come on people, I know it is annoying when you have your train delayed but someone DIED, you get to go home to your families tonight whether it be slightly late, that young girls family never will.

Feeling rather sad tonight.

OP posts:
EmeraldScorn · 17/02/2017 21:26

People are selfish and like to moan about everything without acknowledging the "blessings" they have.

As you say a young girl's family will be devastated that she's never coming home; For others being late getting home seriously pales in significance.

VeryBitchyRestingFace · 17/02/2017 21:28

I mean come on people, I know it is annoying when you have your train delayed but someone DIED, you get to go home to your families tonight

Except you don't really know what those commuters are going home to, do you? Maybe it's a sad lonely life in an empty house.

arethereanyleftatall · 17/02/2017 21:30

Yanbu

Lilaclily · 17/02/2017 21:30

Or they may need to pick up their child from a nursery that charges a fiver every 2 minutes they're late and they are already on the breadline and if they're late again they'll be chucked out of the nursery and won't be able to work
Or there going home to say goodbye to terminally ill relative

Who knows

Original poster
thunderbuddy · 17/02/2017 21:31

I get that VeryBitchy I really do, I know what a nightmare it is, I have been stuck on a train 50 miles plus from the dc while on a training course, I know it is hard, but I had to listen to a man telling the staff how ridiculous they are and how appalling their service is because two staff members who had witnessed what happened needed to go home.

OP posts:
PlayOnWurtz · 17/02/2017 21:32

However when it is an almost daily occurrence (as it is on our mainline to London I think I hear of about 2 a week at least) your sympathy wanes somewhat when yet again you're 4 hours late home from work and have missed out on seeing the kids or whatever.

I can see your point but I can see why people get frustrated and angry at it. There are far less selfish manners to take your life.

sonyaya · 17/02/2017 21:35

You're right of course OP, but people are only human and just because something terrible has happened it doesn't mean people's frustration gets suspended. And you don't know people's reasons for wanting to be home on time or what they had going on in their lives that evening.

scarletmonkey · 17/02/2017 21:36

Yanbu. I do a lot of motorway driving for my commute and I've been late home or late to work several times over the years due to people being on the wrong side of or sadly jumping off the motorway bridges.

Then local news comments and social media are just bitching about the inconvenience that's been made to their lives. I don't like being late for work or late home either, but people need to get some perspective.

Original poster
thunderbuddy · 17/02/2017 21:39

It happily is not a regular occurrence out where we are.
I get that Lilac but I am not sure what the point in shouting at staff is when the station was closed because a body was on the track, the people I heard and have seen moaning weren't asking for help because they needed to home urgently, I have been in that situation more than once. They were shouting how unacceptable it was that the train had been delayed despite it being someone who had died and how it was unacceptable staff members needed to go home and how they wanted their money back for the inconvenience of someone dying and it was not on that they had not got their pre booked seats on the next train.

It just seems so cold :(

OP posts:
Kleptronic · 17/02/2017 21:41

I think that when people get to the point where they are going to take their own lives they are beyond being able to rationalise what is the least selfish manner in which to do it.

haveacupoftea · 17/02/2017 21:42

YABU

It is very sad that she died
It is also very annoying that people were delayed

The two are not mutually exclusive.

CurlsandCurves · 17/02/2017 21:42

Having worked on the railway for many years I've seen this up close. Was stuck on a train going nowhere due to a fatality and asked by a passenger 'can't we just roll over them, they're dead anyway?'

I've chatted to drivers who have been affected by this. They see it happening and stop but know there's no way to stop in time. They then have to go through the court case and see the families affected. It's a hellish experience to go through.

tectonicplates · 17/02/2017 21:45

Was stuck on a train going nowhere due to a fatality and asked by a passenger 'can't we just roll over them, they're dead anyway?'

Just when I thought I'd heard it all. Shock

Original poster
thunderbuddy · 17/02/2017 21:46

I also know someone who is a driver Curls and has had this happen, he tried to go back and couldn't, he ended up with pts and in an awful mess. Like you say hellish.

OP posts:
Imnotaslimjim · 17/02/2017 21:47

Do you live in a town starting with W thunder just wondering as this has happened local to me today. So very sad for that young girls family and for all the people that witnessed it.

user1487363511 · 17/02/2017 21:48

Wow! I understand it can be irritating fir some if it's regular and they have commitments, etc, but come on, a person DIED! I've seen fb posts about how inconsiderate these terrible suicidal people are to deliberately do it in a way that affects others. Yes, I'm sure that the person who chose to take their own life instead of facing whatever misery they had just did it to spite commuters!! Seriously! I know it ducks your plans up but wouldn't you rather be the one late hone than the one who never gets home, or even the one whose loved one never arrives 😔

That1950sMum · 17/02/2017 21:49

How awful for the driver and anyone else involved.

CurlsandCurves · 17/02/2017 21:49

Sorry, I've got to tell you all this.

When something like this occurs, it's usually announced as 'an incident' on the line. Friend of mine used to work on the platform and this announcement was made. Little old lady comes over to her. 'ooh, has there been a fertility, love?'

Think she meant fatality! 😂😂😂😂

PlayOnWurtz · 17/02/2017 21:49

You'd be surprised at how rational you are when you're suicidal and how much thought and planning goes into it.

I know, for instance, that at my lowest points my brain decides I need to drive at high speed into the central reservation. I know where I'll do it, I know when it will cause least disruption on that stretch of road, I even have a plan to leave notes for the first responders apologising for the inconvenience and mess. But that's only when my depression is really flared up I go through that thought process. Apparently it's quite common, and most worrying, when a person had a formulated a plan of how they'll do it. So yes you can think about doing it with least harm to others.

Notrevealingmyidentity · 17/02/2017 21:55

I would say your thinking can be rational to an extent it is usually also skewed. It's not normal thinking that's for damn sure.

In my suicidal fantasies I wanted to be hit by a car because I was very much aware that I didn't want my family to know and to feel bad about it being a "suicide" so I wanted it to appear an accident. Writing this now I'm fully aware of how crazy it sounds and how awful it is that I didn't even consider the driver or any bystanders in the slightest.

SuperBeagle · 17/02/2017 21:56

You can feel sorry for the woman, and still be annoyed that you're going to be late to wherever you were heading. As someone else said, the two are not mutually exclusive.

Iflyaway · 17/02/2017 21:57

when it is an almost daily occurrence (as it is on our mainline to London I think I hear of about 2 a week at least

OMG, that is horrendous....

How sad.

Also for the train driver, imagine having that to deal with in a day's work. I've read about them having to leave their job due to PTSS.

StumblyMonkey · 17/02/2017 22:01

YANBU

I commute into London daily, my commute is already two hours each way without any delays.

However I know how utterly, utterly desperate someone has to be to commit suicide. I could never, ever moan about being late in the face of such a tragic (and avoidable) loss.

TBH I really question the empathy and humanity of people who moan about it.

Wolfiefan · 17/02/2017 22:01

I couldn't imagine being a train driver or paramedic and having to face such an awful event.
I can't imagine being the family or friends hearing their loved one has died in such a horrific manner.
We went to London last year and were delayed for just this very reason. Yes it may be an inconvenience but how can your heart not go out to the person who is so desperate as to take their life like that and those left dealing with the aftermath.

SuperBeagle · 17/02/2017 22:03

TBH I really question the empathy and humanity of people who moan about it.

But they're not moaning about someone committing suicide. They're moaning about their train being delayed, thereby making them late to wherever they were heading. These things are not one and the same.

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