To think people need to get a grip.

[thunderbuddy]

Today a young woman at our local train station died after taking her life in front of a moving train as it pulled into the station in front of a lot of other passengers and people on the platform.

It has been repeatedly explained at the station, on trains, on social media the reasons why the trains were delayed, the reasons why the next trains were busy etc and yet people are still moaning at the stations, on the trains and on social media. People are whining about compensation and money back and how unacceptable it is not to have a contingency of extra staff in case some of them might witness someone take their own life.

I mean come on people, I know it is annoying when you have your train delayed but someone DIED, you get to go home to your families tonight whether it be slightly late, that young girls family never will.

Feeling rather sad tonight.

Zee I'm very sorry

That poor drivers life is changed irreversibly through no fault of their own. Awful.

It's difficult and something I've considered many times as a daily London commuter. I think you can be compassionate towards the fatality as well as being annoyed at the delay. The combined amount of stress and upset caused to potentially hundreds of thousands of commuters (with a busy station like Waterloo) is not insignificant. I think saying nasty things about the dead person is utterly unacceptable though.

And, more importantly, I'm so sorry Zee.

Her name was Charlotte Cash , the papers have reported on her death today . RIP Charlotte

A mother of four as well, how sad.

I avoided witnessing a suicide by seconds today - a man threw himself from the top of a multi-storey car park into the busy bus station right where the bus I was rushing to catch with my children was about to arrive. It was the most public way I could imagine, the middle of the day and so many people around. It was horrific - the faces of the staff and even the police officers who I would have thought would be hardened to tragedy to some extent were so shocked and stunned. Some people were irritated by the delay but most people were just horrified and expressing sadness that someone had felt so desperate. I did wonder if it was a deliberate choice that he jumped on the crowded concourse in front of so many people rather than the side of the building or if he simply wasn't coherent enough to be aware or thinking clearly. Being on the scene in the immediate aftermath without witnessing it was awful enough, I cannot imagine the trauma for train drivers or ambulance staff or anyone who encounters this firsthand.

We've had this up here. A woman climbed onto a bridge over a very busy dual carriageway and threatened to jump off. Obviously the police had to close the road whilst they talked her down. Cue lots of comments on social media saying things like 'oh let her jump' etc. Yes it was inconvenience but just go another way ffs, and be thankful that you are not so despairing yourself.

I used to work at several railway stations and witnessing this is one of the most traumatic things ever. Often train drivers and station staff never recover.
Some of the general public are beyond selfish in these circumstances and fail to look beyond their own inconvenience, unfortunately.
I hope you are ok.

RIP Charlotte.

A 34 year old mother of four.

But for the grace of God go any of us

I am always amazed at how little empathy people have for others. I feel sad that some people are so wrapped up in their own little bubble that they can't take a minute to understand that someone else is having a really fucking bad time of it and while that may impact them by making them late, that's all they are. Late. They are not dead. They are not critically injured. They are not getting a knock on the door.

Dp had a very serious accident 3 years ago. It closed the main bypass for over 4 hours while they worked on him in the road, then did police investigations and then cleared the debris. My oldest DD went to an activity the next day and her leader moaned about how it had taken her 'bloody hours to get home last night' and my DD said 'yes that's my stepdad, he nearly died, he's in intensive care now'. Woman was utterly horrified she'd said anything and was really apologetic. But if I'd heard someone moaning that they were late home while in a shop I'd have probably lost it with them. He was off work for 2 years, he is still unwell, he will never have a physical job again, we lost our house, we have struggled endlessly over the last three years. Now compare that to be being a few hours late home.

You'd be surprised at how rational you are when you're suicidal and how much thought and planning goes into it

For some people. Not so for others. People experience suicidal ideation/urges differently and for many different reasons so your experience is just that, yours. It doesn't necessarily hold true for everybody.

Some suicides will be meticulously planned following days, weeks or even months of contemplation but others are impulsive, the result of a sudden and completely overwhelming wave of desperation in the moment.
There is also evidence that those who choose more 'violent' methods are more likely to be under the influence of alcohol or drugs when they take their lives, which will further impair their judgement and their ability to control their impulses.

So not everyone who experiences suicidal ideation will be in a position to think about the impact of 'choice' of method on others- they may not have the capacity to make choices at all.

I once worked with a young man who killed himself in a very public place, in broad daylight, in front of a number of witnesses. He had a diagnosis of Paranoid Schizophrenia. He heard voices, saw terrifying visions of supernatural creatures and genuinely believed that the government was watching his every move because they suspected him of being a terrorist and so the constant threat of torture and imprisonment was very real in his mind. There is absolutely no way he would have had the insight or the capacity to consider the impact of his actions on those present that day.

The use of the word "selfish" to describe a person whose balance of mind is so severely disturbed that they throw themselves in front of a moving train is completely missing the point. The human mind, especially the mentally disordered mind is so incredibly complex. To say "well they could have just done it another way" is a very simplistic way of looking at a very complicated issue.

Wow some people are lovely arent they.

No matter what your reason is, annoyance, inconvenience etc someone has lost their life--for whatever reason thought its their only option.
someone here saying maybe they are on the breadline picking up their child from a nursery that charges a lot, surely that is not comparable to someones life? So what if you miss 1 bedtime story with your dc? You get to wake up the next day and make up for it.

I am godsmacked by some posters here minimising someone dying/committing suicide like it's nothing.

Just seen this wasn't far from me. How awful.

That being said, I don't think people are necessarily expressing anger at someone taking their life, just at being late. It's comparable to a traffic jam on a motorway: you know there could have been a terrible accident and you are lucky not to be in it, but the frustration of sitting and crawling forwards, especially if it's been "one of those days" and you are desperate to get home, is immense.

I don't think people do lack empathy in an abstract way because you don't know the victim you feel sadness someone resorted to taking their own life but the reality is that you're now 2 hours late having to pick up kids late from childminder and get them fed. You feel sadness for the person but aggrieved at the inconvenience to your reality and life.

Not a suicide, but I was once on a train which killed a man who was running away from police and thought he could jump the gates and nip across the level crossing ahead of the Stansted express. He couldn't. We were on our way to the airport. Most of the people on the train, ditto. We were held there for about six hours - they had to bring in top brass from the Met because of police involvement, or maybe it always takes such a long time.

And we sat there, and watched plane after plane pass overhead, and we would say, there goes our plane, and there goes ours. No-one screaming and stamping, it was so ridiculous there was no point complaining. It's a single-track line so we were also stopping all other trains, local and express, in both directions. Eventually they brought another train down the Up line and we had to cross onto it using ramps, were taken up to Stansted and made our way home from there. Everyone missed their flights. The airport was almost shut, a handful of staff there who helped us re-book flights, which were cheap rate - €50 as it was not our fault that we missed everything.

It wasn't even stiff-upper-lip British stoicism, we were a multinational crowd and all just sat somewhat glumly till we were freed. No-one sang Abide With Me. They did bring us bottles of water, but no BR sandwiches were to be had.

There was some discussion about whether the man was due a Darwin Award . But we found out later that he didn't qualify, as by the age of 19 he already had three children.
.

zeezeek I'm so sorry about what happened to Adam.

There's nothing else I can think of to say, but your post is so moving and I agree with everything you wrote.

A few years ago someone went under the train at our local station and I was shocked at the comments of other commuters & said as much on FB. Two of my FB friends (the ones I least expected to) sympathised with the train company for the ££ it would cost them and the inconvenience to other commuters. I'll never get over that, I removed them as FB friends soon because I couldn't feel the same about them.

*17/02/2017 21:32 PlayOnWurtz

However when it is an almost daily occurrence (as it is on our mainline to London I think I hear of about 2 a week at least)else*

Two a WEEK?? What line might that be?? Methinks someone may be exaggerating a staggering amount just a bit. Tens of thousands of people ride these lines each day so it would hardly be outing if you name the line. I'd love to check the stats on suicide attempts.

When something happens there are always people ready to moan.

Just watch sky news after a disruptive event. Airport disruptions and floods are always good for self centred moans... on national telly, no less.

Thank you for your kindness and understanding. It was a long, long time ago and went on to marry and have children with someone else, but the impact that it had on my life remains. I lost him, but I also lost the young, carefree, compassionate person that I was - along with a lot of friends who couldn't cope with my grief and depression, my relationship with his family and the life I thought I was going to lead.

The fallout from a suicide lasts much longer than the time it takes for people's inconvenience to pass.

I look at all the "be more understanding" comments, understand them and have sympathy for them.

But those saying this about those stuck in these situations are giving no thought to what is happening in the lives of those affected by the delays.

Not everyone is just going home or to work.

Oh that poor women. Her poor mind must have been in absolute turmoil.

She's at peace now.
For her poor family though. They are 1,000,000 miles from peace.

However yes people are selfish, but. They have to be. Its called survival. For example
There could have been someone on the train on their way to sign on. They turn up late. They're sanctioned.
The powers that be don't give a flys arse about the reason why.
Could have been someone on a warning at work. The possible scenarios go on for ever. Not everyone will have been out on a leisurely train ride.

When I overdosed, I left it for my mam to find me.

I love my mam, I keep a lot of my MH problems secret from her to protect her. I'm really not a selfish person (I hope) but at that point I truly didn't give a shit about her or even my DC.

It's hard to explain that state of mind but if I wasn't thinking of my family who I loved I imagine it's very easy to not think of the public or train staff in those circumstances.

Obviously I'm still here but what I put my family (especially my mam and my DD's) through is the thing in my life I'm most ashamed of, I don't think I will ever come to terms with what I put them through.

Kleptronic: "I think that when people get to the point where they are going to take their own lives they are beyond being able to rationalise what is the least selfish manner in which to do it."

That's exactly right. Imagine the state of mind you have to be in where throwing yourself under a train feels like the best option.

And it's horrendous for the train driver. I've talked to a psychotherapists who treats train drivers this has happened to, and he said the guilt they feel is awful - even though, rationally, they could never have stopped in time.

I know how annoying it is when a train is delayed. I don't really see how people can blame the train company for it, though. And criticising suicides as "selfish" seems heartless, to say the least.

Some awful heatless animals on here, tonight.
I disagree animals aren't heartless.