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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

WWYD? Spotting someone on MN.

104 replies

whatyouarerealpeople · 03/02/2017 20:04

I spotted someone I know on MN tonight. I would never have guessed it was them. They posted a while back about an issue and I read the thread at the time none the wiser. I'm now torn whether to mention it or pretend I never saw it?

Has this happened to anyone else?

OP posts:
TitaniasCloset · 03/02/2017 20:05

What did they post about?

Bantanddec · 03/02/2017 20:05

We're they talking about you?

MWM · 03/02/2017 20:05

I've spotted 2 different people.
I didn't say anything and promptly deleted their username from my brain.

FoofFighter · 03/02/2017 20:06

I think I spotted a family member on here this week. I won't be asking, they deserve their anonymity, as do I.

jackieeee · 03/02/2017 20:09

Why would you mention it?

Uglycoyote · 03/02/2017 20:09

Don't mention it. Pretend you never saw it.

I spotted my SIL once. Realised that here was where she could talk in a way she didn't in real life. Telling her would have made her very uncomfortable.

CripsSandwiches · 03/02/2017 20:10

I don't see any benefit of mentioning it (unless the issue is that she's been sleeping with your husband!). If she wanted to share it with you she'd have done so in real life.

NoFuckingRoomOnMyBroom · 03/02/2017 20:12

Pretend you never saw it & try to erase the username from your memory.
Did you recognise their master bedroom by any chance...?

haveacupoftea · 03/02/2017 20:15

Dont say anything. If she wanted to discuss said issue with you irl she would have. Not sure if we have a function to ignore users but you should use that as well.

cerealstalker · 03/02/2017 20:17

I spotted someone I know very well. She's not a nice person and her posts pretty much back that up. Have a strange compulsion to stalk her on here now, hence my temporary username for this post.

Ilovecaindingle · 03/02/2017 20:19

I would want to know so could name change!!

Tattoonamechange · 03/02/2017 20:21

Usual etiquette is to let them know so they can namechange.

And do NOT advanced search past posts

spacefrog35 · 03/02/2017 20:23

Some people (me for one) don't care in the slightest so I wouldn't get too het up. It really depends on the issues, how you think she might respond and how you identified her as to whether you need to tell her.

Original poster
whatyouarerealpeople · 03/02/2017 20:24

I think I will pretend I never saw it. No she wasn't posting about me or my husband. I have chatted on her before on the issue thread & many others (I've named changed).

OP posts:
Sallystyle · 03/02/2017 20:26

I don't get why you would tell her.

I know that someone could log onto MN and read something and work out who I am. It's why I don't post anything I wouldn't want my friends and family to see. If people care enough about not being recognised they won't post stuff that is easy recognisable.

HungryHorace · 03/02/2017 20:29

I let my cousin know I'd spotted her so she could name change if she wanted to (she didn't).

Or you could do what somebody who spotted me did: tell my MiL that I'd posted about an issue I'd had with my in laws (factual, not slagging off in any way, just that I was struggling to get past it) so she could read it and then get upset, despite it not identifying them. And then they didn't tell me they'd outed me or ask if I wanted to name change (I did when I found out). I've still no idea who it was and I'm still a bit annoyed!

deckoff · 03/02/2017 20:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Bluebellevergreen · 03/02/2017 20:32

Why would you tell her? She is coming here for help and that will mean she is embarrassed and then has nowhere to go for help. Bad 😪

I would be so hurt and humilated.

Delete her name from your brain

SuperFlyHigh · 03/02/2017 20:33

That's strange.

Hardly anyone knows I'm on MN apart from a closeish friend and she mentioned a few years ago she posted here for advice. I think I've changed username once or twice since then (when we had all the password troll nightmares!) so hopefully she doesn't know Super is me!

I'd hope she'd be adult enough either not to stalk my posts or tell me by PM.

Original poster
whatyouarerealpeople · 03/02/2017 20:34

Horace Shock

The only reason I was thinking about it is because I am worried about her. I agree with what someone said upthread about her using mumsnet as an outlet so I don't want to compromise that. I will try to forget her name.

OP posts:
ICantThinkOfAUsernameH · 03/02/2017 20:35

I would tell her so she could name change.
hoping it's not me Blush

ollieplimsoles · 03/02/2017 20:35

Only dh knows I'm on here and doesn't know my username,

I think my sister knows I'm on here though!

Hellochicken · 03/02/2017 20:36

I am so paranoid. Now I think it is me. Is it me?

WorraLiberty · 03/02/2017 20:37

Realistically, you're not going to be able to forget her name now are you?

I would just try to avoid her on here as much as possible.

Although as a PP said, not everyone cares if someone spots them.

I know I certainly wouldn't.

ReginaGeorgeinSheepsClothing · 03/02/2017 20:37

If you are worried about her- contact her In real life with a 'hows things?'

Although how many people have now got the shitters slightly??!

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