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AIBU?

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Original poster

Wearing shoes in upstairs flat

99 replies

Fieldandgrasses · 01/02/2017 07:44

Morning,

My upstairs neighbour has got a new job which means getting up at 6.30, leaving at 7. He wears his shoes as he's getting ready to leave (apparently on carpets) and his heavy footsteps wake us up. I've asked him if he would put his shoes on as he leaves the flat (or bedroom) to stop waking us up. He won't do this. His girlfriend has lived there for years and we've always got on. She got a very sensitive smoke alarm which my cooking would occasionally set off, I resolved this. We keep our daughter quiet in the bedroom under hers early on Saturday mornings, going into our living room. And vice versa. I feel like a good relationship which has made living in flats with poor sound insulation is now under threat. Thought I would check my expectations were not UR before this escalates.

OP posts:
Hereward1332 · 01/02/2017 07:53

Seriously? You are objecting to someone putting their shoes on in their own home at 7am? It's hardly drum and bass at in the middle of the night.

RacoonBandit · 01/02/2017 07:54

Unless he is weraing frankinstien style shoes I cannot get my head around how he makes enough noise walking around so that it wakes you up. Confused

I think if you live in a flat you have to accept some level of noise from above. Not music blaring at all hours but somebody walking around with shoes on is normal.

CommonSenseIsNotAllThatCommon · 01/02/2017 07:54

YABU. It's reasonable noise.

Believeitornot · 01/02/2017 07:56

Thats the risk you take in a flat. Sometimes you hear each other. 7am isn't early!

Original poster
Fieldandgrasses · 01/02/2017 07:57

OK, IBU!

OP posts:
chemenger · 01/02/2017 08:01

If you live in a flat you hear noise from other people living their lives. 7am is not a wildly early time to be waking up. Unless he is getting his 10 000 steps in in the bedroom before he leaves I don't see how he can be making masses of noise.

MargaretCavendish · 01/02/2017 08:01

Ah, this brought back fond, fond memories of the downstairs neighbour who asked (demanded, really) that my now husband stop showering before work, as it bothered him. Not a reasonable request!

If he's walking on carpet and wearing normal men's flat shoes it's pretty unlikely that the shoes are the problem, I think it's just that his girlfriend is lighter and perhaps with a more delicate step, and you're used to that.

Original poster
Fieldandgrasses · 01/02/2017 08:05

Fortunately it means I won't feel guilty about listening to the radio loudly as I get ready for work, no matter that his girlfriend doesn't have to get up till 11. Ah well, as you all say, 6.30/7 is a reasonable time to be up. We can all be up, no matter what time we actually need to be.

OP posts:
harderandharder2breathe · 01/02/2017 08:09

Putting shoes on is necessary. Listening to a loud radio is not. Yabu and childish

TurquoiseDress · 01/02/2017 08:15

I used to live in a ground floor flat several years ago where the couple upstairs would stomp about at all hours, especially the woman who would wear heels that made such an annoying sound.

Plus the way they would shriek at each other, full volume.

Living in a modern, new build development I feel very lucky that we barely hear the (many) neighbours we have living very close by to us.

It's annoying and he should have more consideration living in flats.

RacoonBandit · 01/02/2017 08:16

Thats just spiteful OP.

He is walking around his flat in shoes which is perfectly normal and reasonable and you want to "get back at them" by putting on your radio loudly is just nasty.

bobbis · 01/02/2017 08:16

YABU, you're lucky if shoes are the only thing to worry about living in a flat. We didn't get so lucky with our neighbours...shouting, up at stupid hours of the night etc :( (and yes we have complained). Unfortunately you're always going to hear the neighbours to a certain extent living in a flat

Yukbuck · 01/02/2017 08:17

I do get you op. It's frustrating. But it's just part of the parcel for living in a flat. I've just moved from an upstairs flat (I was in the middle, so people living above and below) and I was always conscious of the neighbours. To the point, I never did a workout because I felt bad for downstairs, I put the washing machine on during the day only, despite working long hours. I'm so excited that I can now do normal things in my flat without worrying about downstairs. They were actually lovely by the way. And wouldn't have minded but I still felt bad!

TurquoiseDress · 01/02/2017 08:18

OP- am sure that many others will disagree with you but I can totally empathise with the annoyance it causes.

next somebody will be along telling you to buy yourself a detached house or something so you don't have to hear the neighbours.

This is the reality of living in flats unfortunately.

Original poster
Fieldandgrasses · 01/02/2017 08:19

The point is, I moderate my behaviour out of consideration to my neighbours, choosing not to wear shoes in the bedroom at 6.30 in the morning is a small thing that makes a big difference to us. It has always been a mutual consideration between us but that seems to have changed.

OP posts:
HereBeFuckery · 01/02/2017 08:20

My DH can wake me by walking around downstairs in our house in his slippers. Some people are heavy footed have no consideration and you have my sympathy.

crazycravings · 01/02/2017 08:21

We have very poor insulation in our flats and our upstairs neighbour wakes us up at four sometimes! Slamming doors, stomping and we can even hear the tap on and flushing toilets but it's flat life so we have to learn to except it. White noise helps

MargaretCavendish · 01/02/2017 08:21

I feel like a good relationship which has made living in flats with poor sound insulation is now under threat

After the latest post I think the threat is you!

Believeitornot · 01/02/2017 08:25

You listen to the radio on purpose? How petty.

harderandharder2breathe · 01/02/2017 08:25

You moderate noise and if him putting his shoes on is the loudest thing you here so do they you can't ask someone not to put their shoes on in their own home. And then get nasty and blast your radio because you're a childish twat.

MuddyMoose · 01/02/2017 08:25

YABU & your last comment is very childish. Yet another poster who doesn't really want to accept they are in the wrong. If you live in (badly insulated) then you expect to hear day to day life around you. In my old flat I used to hear the downstairs turning lights on & off, weeing (!!), doors opening, TV & they probably heard the same from me. Neither of us complained. The noise wasn't excessive. It was just people living. I'm sure the 7am-shoe-wearing bloke would much rather still be in bed than getting up to go to work too.

user1483387154 · 01/02/2017 08:28

YABU I am guessing that if the only thing you can complain about is the noise of his shoes that they are already moderating their behaviour to be quiet.
YABVU regarding the loud music this is childish, petty and spiteful

Ncbecauseitshard · 01/02/2017 08:32

It's not hard to leave your shoes at the door to put on though is it? Still he's an effective alarm clock.

Original poster
Fieldandgrasses · 01/02/2017 08:33

Exactly, NC. As soon as they told me something was bothering them, I stopped it. Just because I don't want to be a nuisance to anyone else.

OP posts:
harderandharder2breathe · 01/02/2017 08:37

Oh for gods sake don't be one of those idiots who only replies to the one poster that doesn't say yabu

You live in a flat. He is putting his shoes on in his own home at a reasonable time to do such a thing. Act like an adult and ignore.

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