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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Am I being unreasonably shallow?

80 replies

user1483809827 · 09/01/2017 12:45

I met a guy on tinder. We had our first date last Friday night and our second date yesterday.

I like him. His personality is great. There is sexual attraction there (although I haven't had sex in so long it's no surprise). He has a great body. He has a daughter and we're both on the same wavelength in that our dd's will always come first.

But.. I don't like his teeth. They're clean, it's not a case of poor oral hygiene but they're a bit crooked and it sort of ruins his smile.

Am I being really shallow? Apart from that he ticks a lot of boxes.

OP posts:
monkeywithacowface · 09/01/2017 12:46
Biscuit
TondelayaDellaVentamiglia · 09/01/2017 12:47

surprising to me that a paragon of perfection such as yourself has had to resort to OLD really . 3)

Soubriquet · 09/01/2017 12:47

Very shallow

My teeth aren't perfect. Luckily my dh saw past the teeth and we are happily married with two children

OohhItsNotHoxton · 09/01/2017 12:49

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

BIgBagofJelly · 09/01/2017 12:49

It depends on you I guess if you still find him attractive and he's great in other respects then it seems a little silly to reject him (you're unlikely to find someone who ticks every single box and has no physical flaws). If for some reason straight teeth is very important to you and it stops you finding him attractive then I guess you should break up with him.

treaclesoda · 09/01/2017 12:51

I suppose it all depends on whether you'd be happy to be rejected for something utterly trivial. Somehow I get the feeling that you wouldn't, because most of us wouldn't.

gamerchick · 09/01/2017 12:51

Yeah you're shallow but not to worry I'm sure he's somewhere picking apart your flaws somewhere.

oldenoughtoknow · 09/01/2017 12:51

Yes.

treaclesoda · 09/01/2017 12:53

But on the plus side, if he's a lovely guy, he'd hopefully be able to find someone who isn't judging his teeth, so probably fairer all round to call it quits and let him move on. Just don't tell him the real reason because no one needs to be criticised like that.

Arkhamasylum · 09/01/2017 12:55

If you were really attracted to him, you wouldn't care about his crooked teeth. Maybe after you've met him a few more times, he'll become more of himself and less of his appearance. It's not fair to harbour a secret revulsion for him, though, when he could be with someone less judgemental about his appearance. We can't all be perfect, after all. It's Tinder, not Crufts Smile

TheCatsMother99 · 09/01/2017 12:56

Yes, you are being shallow, but you know that, don't you.

Original poster
user1483809827 · 09/01/2017 12:57

I'm not perfect I'm far from it. And I don't expect him to be perfect either.

I think I'm scared and trying to look for faults.

OP posts:
PeppaPigTastesLikeBacon · 09/01/2017 12:57

He probably doesn't like the wort on your nose Grin

MrsExpo · 09/01/2017 12:58

Yes you are, to answer your question.

Of course you are perfect yourself, so the poor guy has a lot to live up to.

mistermagpie · 09/01/2017 12:58

Supermodel yourself are you? I understand that physical attaction is important, of course it is, but imagine somebody judging you for such a small thing and how you would feel.

My DH has got a massive nose, like comedy big. I still think he's gorgeous though and if I had ditched him because of that (or if he had ditched me for my, wait for it, wonky teeth) then I would have missed out on an amazing marriage and child. Give the guy a chance.

ChicRock · 09/01/2017 12:58

Well yes that is shallow but after only 2 dates I suppose that's probably fair enough.

Just tell him there's no spark for you and move on.

Original poster
user1483809827 · 09/01/2017 12:59

Jesus I didn't expect all the harsh comments.

OP posts:
TrustySnail · 09/01/2017 13:01

Are you perhaps focusing on his teeth because you have other, less tangible, doubts about him?

I doubt you'd allow this to get in the way if you wholeheartedly liked him in every other respect.

CaraAspen · 09/01/2017 13:01

Do you have a recent photo of your own teeth? Please don't say they are false teeth - aka veneers!

Original poster
user1483809827 · 09/01/2017 13:02

No I don't have a Hollywood smile.

OP posts:
Original poster
user1483809827 · 09/01/2017 13:03

I like him but we've only been on 2 dates. It's hard to tell yet.

OP posts:
SaltySalt · 09/01/2017 13:04

Poor fella! Let him down gently please 😞

ShutTheFridgeUp · 09/01/2017 13:05

I like slightly crooked teeth, I think it adds character.

SpookyPotato · 09/01/2017 13:05

If I'm genuinely attracted to someone, then I can look past things like that.. Someone I have been so attracted to had very uneven teeth and I didn't care because I just fancied him, full stop. If you're finding faults and they're bothering you then you're probably not that into him.

Saukko · 09/01/2017 13:05

I have a crush on a guy with slightly crooked front teeth and I find it kinda of adorable.

Let's hope he's not as put off by your stretch marks, giant pores or tummy flab, eh?

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