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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To sleep when baby sleeps

105 replies

justinelibertine · 28/12/2016 20:12

Doing bedtime and bored whilst waiting for DD to drop off so here goes.
DD is almost 2 and still naps most days for a couple of hours. In that time I like to get some sleep myself. I find being SAHP very tiring.
H sometimes rings me over his lunch hour and gets annoyed if I don't answer because I am sleeping. He told my mum that I only called him at 3pm after DD and I had woken and had a snack. She jumped on this because she doesn't see the need for daytime naps full stop. Apparently DD hasn't needed one for a year and I have no business sleeping during the day. She has an ongoing hang up about it.
This was a few weeks ago and they are still talking about it. I shouldn't sleep in case they need me during the day. I should be doing jobs. H had the gall to say that I don't do much parenting because we spend most of the day asleep and M sided with me. Er, no. We are talking 2.5 hours at most and not every day.
AIBU to feel like I am a terrible parent? That I force DD to sleep just so I can rest. Or are they BU?
I end up lying about naps now.

OP posts:
TeaBelle · 28/12/2016 20:14

If you really need the sleep then I would suggest a visit to the gp as it seems a bit excessive. But your dd probably needs it.

Deadsouls · 28/12/2016 20:16

YANBU
I'm a napper and always have been. When DC's were babies, I mostly always slept when they slept.
It's my time to recuperate and the way my body works.

ElspethFlashman · 28/12/2016 20:16

How much do you sleep at night?

If she sleeps through, then I am surprised you need 2.5 hrs in the middle of the day. She might, but it's unusual for an adult to unless they're getting no sleep at night.

Original poster
justinelibertine · 28/12/2016 20:16

Yeah. I need to get some bloodwork done. I keep putting it off.

OP posts:
Original poster
justinelibertine · 28/12/2016 20:20

I love a fellow napper!
She does sleep well usually apart from teething and illness. She does cry for her dummy a couple of times a night but nothing excessive.
I go to bed about 10 sleep at 11 up at 7 when DD wakes. Maybe I should go earlier. H will complain because he likes me to be with him. But he can't have it both ways.

OP posts:
KP86 · 28/12/2016 20:20

If DS 2.8y has a nap in the day then maybe 1-2 days per week I'll have a sleep for up to an hour as well. Sometimes I just need it!

Unfortunately he has started to drop his sleeps so it's less nap time for mummy :(

littledinaco · 28/12/2016 20:22

I don't think there's anything wrong with it, toddlers are tiring! I often used do the same with my first, it was lovely. DC1 still had a nap past 3 years old.
Don't feel guilty-enjoy your sleeps!

MrsDallowaySaid · 28/12/2016 20:24

I used to love this with DD. I still nap most weekend afternoons and in the holidays. Keep napping and enjoy!

dingdongthewitchishere · 28/12/2016 20:25

Bloody hell, what a pair. I wish I could nap at least one hour a day, but I don't have time. I am grown up and I still need sleep. There's no age when a child has to stop napping (unless they are at school obviously). Some need more sleep than others, nothing wrong with that at all.

If you have time to do all your chores and play with your kid when she's up, then nothing at all wrong with napping. If you need to sleep, you need to sleep!

Hollyandtheiveee · 28/12/2016 20:27

I don't think there is anything wrong with you napping in day. But I do think you need to get your bloods done. I was exhausted my little one was 2 Abd put it down to bring a sahp. Turned out I was very anaemic. So much more energy after months of iron tablets.

lilyb84 · 28/12/2016 20:28

Of course you're not a terrible parent. As far as I'm aware a nap at 2yo is still absolutely fine. As for you, why should your DH (and certainly not your MIL!) get to dictate what you do during the day? If you want or need to nap that's up to you - you're an adult.

If that level of tiredness feels unusual for you I'd get checked out. But if my DH were a sahd (and if our ds actually ever napped...) I can imagine him doing exactly this and I would have zero issue with it. Surely your DH would rather you were happy and able to cope with your JOB as a parent?

AliceInHinterland · 28/12/2016 20:29

It's a perk of the job.

NoFucksImAQueen · 28/12/2016 20:29

I LOVE nap time. I have ds2 who is 2.5 and DD who is 1 and i always try and sleep when they do.
I go to bed at 10/11 and get up at 6ish. I probably do sleep too much but the stress of the kids makes me eat my body weight in chocolate so meh

bobbinpop · 28/12/2016 20:29

YANBU and why would they need you during the day? Stand your ground! SAHP is knackering. Plus the naps won't last much longer so enjoy them while they do :)

DeliciouslyHella · 28/12/2016 20:30

I agree with the PP - it's a perk of the job.

I love a nap and come from a family who are very dedicated to naps. At the weekend when DD naps, DH and I often nap too.

FatalKittehCharms · 28/12/2016 20:31

I shouldn't sleep in case they need me during the day.

Do they think you're their mother? Tell them to sort their own shit out and you'll nap if you want to.

DJBaggySmalls · 28/12/2016 20:32

YANBU to want a nap, let alone need one. A power nap can recharge your batteries. Thats before you consider anemia or other medical problems.
I loathe people who get on their high horse about other peoples sleeping patterns. Theres no need for anyone to make snide comments about it, or play the 'who's a bigger martyr' game.

mylaptopismylapdog · 28/12/2016 20:32

No you are not BU child res are better off with a well rested mother.

Allthewaves · 28/12/2016 20:32

I still have naps with dc and he's 3.5 yrs. He's horrible if he doesn't have an hour after preschool. If he's been up 2 or 3 a times a night then I bloody deserve a nap. If he been sleeping through then that's my time to watch walking dead or other unsuitable programme - can you tell I'm not house proudGrin

Lireal · 28/12/2016 20:34

Stop boasting about how much sleep you're getting. 😴

Original poster
justinelibertine · 28/12/2016 20:34

Feeling much better with the perk of the job comments.
Just called her now and she asked if I'd been sleeping in the day today. What a nag.

Must make the doc appointment for some blood this week.

OP posts:
StarryIllusion · 28/12/2016 20:34

My 3 year old has only just dropped his nap and still has it some days. I can't sleep during the day unless ill but if I could, I would. 2.5 hours is excessive though for you both. Ds only ever had an hour tops. I can see little one maybe just being tired but for you I would get that bloodwork done. That said, he wants to try it. Being a parent is fucking exhausting.

Blacksox · 28/12/2016 20:36

I always napped when mine slept during the day - it was bliss!

I am still partial to a daytime snooze now and always have one at the weekends.

I think it keeps me young!

ScrumpyBetty · 28/12/2016 20:37

I used to nap with my DS until he was nearly 3, and loved every minute, it wasn't every day but I worked hard in the awake hours, and used to love putting my head down for an hour sometimes with DS. Mind you, he regularly used to wake up at 6am. Life with a toddler is tiring.
YANBU, and tell your MIL and DH to mind their own business.

SheepyFun · 28/12/2016 20:47

My DD napped for 2 hours until she was 3.5 - longer than some, but your DD is much younger than that.

Surely the main question is whether or not you are caring for your DD appropriately. Sleeping while she's awake wouldn't be great, but that isn't what you're doing. Checking you're not anaemic etc. is definitely worthwhile, but I need a lot of sleep and my bloods are fine.

Can you ask your DH to be a bit more supportive? Also, does he ever have whole days when DD is in his care (and without help from others)? I suspect he has no idea what it's really like. My DH and I both work part time, and share care for DD. He's never told me I shouldn't get extra sleep....