To sleep when baby sleeps

[justinelibertine]

Doing bedtime and bored whilst waiting for DD to drop off so here goes.
DD is almost 2 and still naps most days for a couple of hours. In that time I like to get some sleep myself. I find being SAHP very tiring.
H sometimes rings me over his lunch hour and gets annoyed if I don't answer because I am sleeping. He told my mum that I only called him at 3pm after DD and I had woken and had a snack. She jumped on this because she doesn't see the need for daytime naps full stop. Apparently DD hasn't needed one for a year and I have no business sleeping during the day. She has an ongoing hang up about it.
This was a few weeks ago and they are still talking about it. I shouldn't sleep in case they need me during the day. I should be doing jobs. H had the gall to say that I don't do much parenting because we spend most of the day asleep and M sided with me. Er, no. We are talking 2.5 hours at most and not every day.
AIBU to feel like I am a terrible parent? That I force DD to sleep just so I can rest. Or are they BU?
I end up lying about naps now.

Ignore your dh and dm. Lie if you need to

It's fine

It's my mother not my MIL. Makes it worse! I will enjoy my naps.

YANBU. I have been a napper my whole life and still do on the days I'm not working. My kids grew out of it years ago! If you are doing everything else you need to get done in a day then why not? Over 2 hours is pretty long though, although I'm sure i could manage. DH is perhaps jealous he doesn't get the opportunity? My husband has come to accept my napping as he knows I'm cranky otherwise. He texts before calling at lunch time to check if I am awake. BTW I went and got blood checked for diabetes, thyroid etc a couple of months ago and nothing wrong with me. If you have no other symptoms may just be you need a lot of sleep but best getting checked.

DS is 16 now so maybe advice had changed but my HV always used to tell me to sleep when baby sleeps including an afternoon nap if I needed it. I'm still a light sleeper and will have an afternoon nap if I can.
I used to love having a nice snoozy snuggle in the afternoon, and it didn't do him any harm either.

Ignore them both. You'll know when she n longer needs a nap when she either won't drop off during the day or she won't go to sleep at night until 11pm!

I would have thought your main problem was your interfering mother and your DH whose encouraging her. It is absolutely none of her business whether you take a nap during the day and why on earth would either of them "need" you during the middle of the day?

Hell yes it's OK!

Think of it as your daily siesta like the Spanish and Italian do.

You're not lazy, you're European!

this is what I tell myself

You take those naps OP, and you enjoy them! You hear me?

And don't let anyone tell you otherwise!

My DS is almost 2 and has a good 2 hour nap a day and if it takes my fancy, I will go for a wee snooze as well. He sleeps through the night but I love sleep! I did get bloods done and am anaemic so do get yourself checked.

I miss when he used to have 4 hour epic naps stares wistfully in the distance

Sleep when you can - grab every opportunity!!

I don't think yabu but if you want honesty I can see why your dh thinks it's lazy especially if you only have one. But I find napping lazy in general!

Tell them its none of their fucking business!

Thing is that you DON'T get 8 hours nice kip 11pm-7pm. You wake up 2-3 times listening to her need the dummy and might get out of bed to deal with that if needed. So it's no surprise to me you need a nap in the day.
I nap. I worried terribly about doing this with dc1 - felt i was lazy and less of a woman because being a sahm and waling up in the night wore me out in ways 10 hour days in an office never did. 2nd time round and i really couldn't give a stuff what anyone thinks - the nap recharges me and lets me ENJOY being a sahm.
Besides - i never gave my job up to do housework. Do get your bloods checked. If nothing is wrong then lie through your teeth and say you're anaemic or vit d deficient if you want to get them off your back without arguments. Although dh prefers me to have a nap as i'm much nicer when he gets home.

I used to love a wee nap. Especially when the real dog tiredness of the early days had passed so it was more of a lovely doze - a real treat. To me it was a bit of peace and me time - no different to sitting watching the tv.

What would piss me off here is their reasoning. Why on earth would they need you during the day? I think it just irritates them to think that you aren't some bloody Cinderella at their beck and call.

Keep napping and tell them to mind their own damned business.

YANBU. DS and I had a lovely nap together yesterday. He's just turned 4!

And yes to what just said. I was sometimes on my knees despite dd being essentially a great sleeper. My ability to sleep well stopped the day she was born. I frequently wake hourly and can take hours to resettle.

Op may be the same - sometimes you don't even realise as it become habit

I'm at home with my DS three days between Mon-Fri and he naps for approximately 2 hours after his lunch and I sleep then too. I love our nap times and I have no problem falling asleep. My DH always has a little chuckle about my daily naps but only because he's jealous

OP YANBU in the slightest. DD (3) still naps 1-2 hrs after lunch. She's at nursery school Tues-Fri but home with me on Monday and I love napping when she does! And at weekends and on holidays DH naps too- it might make us lazy but we bloody love it!

You have to do what's right for you at the time. DH isn't around so he doesn't get a say, and you really need to tell your mum to mind her own business. Your parenting choices are nothing at all to do with her and the sooner that is drilled into her the better.

If your DC is up in the night then yanbu. Even if she's not then yanbu for wanting a short nap - eg 20 mins, but you're sleeping for longer. If you're getting a full night's sleep and needing 2.5 hrs in the day then that does seem a bit much!

Am probably just v jealous though as I have a 4 week old DD and am knackered. Can't sleep during the day as she hardly sleeps at all and have an older DC too!

If you are feeling that fatigued then get it checked out.

I suggest you wake up your DH to take care of your DD in the night and morning, I am sure he'll soon change his mind about your naps.

Yanbu. I love nap time! I have two kids now and can't nap unless DH is at home too. Enjoy it while you can!

YANBU!!
Why are they so obsessed?? Strange.
Enjoy it!!

I nap with mine whenever I can, definite perk of the "job"

I used to love when DS would suggest 'milk and snoozy' with me. Carried on until he started school. Now I just do it on my own. There's nothing wrong with a good snooze.

My dc are 4 and 7 now and I still love a nap! During the Xmas read I've been sleeping 8+ hours at night and also napping some days too. I love naps!