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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel uncomfortable about DC's presents?

99 replies

Bitlessbahhumbug · 23/12/2016 17:53

I hate to add to the xmas present threads but here goes anyway....

I'm getting together all the presents to wrap for xmas and I am really uneasy.

Poor coordination and extravagant GPs who contribute to "Santa" presents mean in excess of £800 has been spent on 2 DC, one of whom is a toddler.

Possibly even more. Definitely well over £400 on DC2.

That's completely crazy isn't it? I might put away most of the presents I bought and save for birthdays. But it won't make much of a dent.

Or am I being bah humbug?!

OP posts:
Gallavich · 23/12/2016 17:53

That's a fuck of a lot

MagicSocks · 23/12/2016 17:55

Wow, that is a lot! What are the presents? You could definitely save some for birthdays I would say.

WhisperingLoudly · 23/12/2016 17:56

Either enjoy them or donate some of them.

Hand wringing on here is going to get you flamed.

CinderellaRockefeller · 23/12/2016 17:57

In some ways it depends how much money £800 is for you. Is it leaving you without?

Also, is it one big fancy present and some small, or just piles and piles of things. If the latter I would put some away as honestly, they'll get bored opening them.

If it is just the monetary value of a few items, and you can afford it I wouldn't worry.

cherrycrumblecustard · 23/12/2016 17:58

It is a lot, but I think since its someone else's 'a lot', just ride it out.

CanandWill · 23/12/2016 18:00

It is what it is. Sorry op I do think this is in poor taste considering the amount of threads on here lately where posters cannot afford to buy their children presents. So YABU.

Chopchopbusybusy · 23/12/2016 18:02

I'd save some for birthdays. Maybe even return some and put the money in their bank accounts. When ours were small we didn't buy them very much as they had more than enough stuff from doting grannies and from a generous aunt and uncle.

NerrSnerr · 23/12/2016 18:02

£400 is a lot on a toddler- I imagine that is a mountain of presents. Our daughter turned 2 recently and she was so over excited and overwhelmed by the presents (she probably had about 20 overall from everyone) and it took about a week to open.

cherrycrumblecustard · 23/12/2016 18:02

I don't think that's fair, there are all sorts of posters on here. I would hate to be told I couldn't or shouldn't post because our family have money.

skippy67 · 23/12/2016 18:04

Keep some back for birthdays then. Or donate to charity. Or just get on and wrap them.

Original poster
Bitlessbahhumbug · 23/12/2016 18:08

Ah sorry. I can see it's poor form. I didn't buy it and absolutely could not afford it. I carefully bought in sales and bought halfway sensibly - books, jigsaws, umbrellas. I generally dont read the xmas threads so I didn't really think just how offensive this could be.

Sorry again. Blush I am just stunned (kind of appalled) at what has been bought.

OP posts:
TinselTwins · 23/12/2016 18:10

It really depends on what it is, are they big things that they would get anyway but all condensed into christmas (i.e. like coats, clothes, bikes, trikes etc?) or just £800 of plastic?

I would happily spend £400 per child if I had it, but it would include kit for their hobbies, practical clothes, maybe event tickets.

I would not spend £400 on toys though

MrsMozart · 23/12/2016 18:25

I think it depends on the spare household income - we've had times where it was way under that figure, and due to changes in fortune it became years of way over.

I don't think it's something someone can decide is right or wrong, unless someone isn't paying their bills so that they can spend on presents.

youarenotkiddingme · 23/12/2016 18:26

I don't think the money is the issue. You can afford what you can afford.

But for me it would depend on if it's 30 little presents of tat or very similar stuff or useful things that just happen to add up in value.

For example a toy kitchen with accessories could easily cost in excess of £100 for a decent wooden one. A wooden train track and table with accessories the same. If there's then clothes, a ride on, books and DVDs etc then it's all stuff of value (eg will get played with repeatedly!) to get at once iyswim?

AndNoneForGretchenWieners · 23/12/2016 18:28

It sounds a lot, but then DH was totting up what we had spent on DS16 and it's close to £1000 Blush

To be fair most of that is on stuff for his photography A Level as he is really interested in it, but his new clothes were also quite pricey as was his aftershave.

Figure17a · 23/12/2016 18:29

Depends if it's things like a bike and a computer that they "need" that doesn't seem so bad as if it's all plastic tatt.

SanityAssassin · 23/12/2016 18:36

If you add up all the little things it's really easy to spend that amount. It depends if it's stuff they actually want/can use or mindless tat buying. I've spent quite a lot on mine but some of it is second hand and all of it will be stuff they want.

Serin · 23/12/2016 18:36

Noooo!!

Get them to contribute to savings for Uni or a house deposit or a car.

Only yesterday ours were tiny and now they are all grown up, when I reckon up what their GP's spent on tat Sad It would have gone such a long way now.

toastymarshmallow · 23/12/2016 18:37

In terms of the entire value, yes it seems a lot, and your DCs are certainly very lucky to get it, however, I have ended up spending around £270 on each of my two DCs, age 7 and 4, and the "pile" looks pretty underwhelming. It is a few good quality gifts rather than a poundshop mountain.

My point is that when it comes to the price of toys these days, it is easy to spend a lot very quickly.

I think my issue would be piling it all in to the Santa presents. If it was me I would keep Santa as what I bought, so that I was not then stuck with the raised expectations in years to come should the GPs not spend as much. IMO other family members should be acknowledged for the gifts they give.

dingdongthewitchishere · 23/12/2016 18:39

I agree with youarenotkiddingme It depends what it is. So many houses seem to have activity centers/ climbing frames in the garden, and these things cost a fortune. Most baby walkers cost around £50, jumparoos at least £70 so it's really easy to reach £200 per child, even a baby. Don't get me started on Playmobils!

You can either save a lot for birthdays (and keep the tiny ones as gift when invited to a party), or return them to buy something else.

MsJamieFraser · 23/12/2016 18:41

If you can afford it I don't see what the issue is, we spend way more on that and our DC are 7 and 10

Original poster
Bitlessbahhumbug · 23/12/2016 18:41

Well it would seem very poor firm to apologise and then list the presents. It's toys though. Good quality but lots.

I know it's all relative and subjective but this many toys feels wrong to me and would have even when I have been more comfortably off.

Family have always been generous but it's gone ott this year. But I can see "hand wringing" on here is annoying so I'll get sorting. I can't put away or give away presents I didn't buy though.

OP posts:
dingdongthewitchishere · 23/12/2016 18:42

Serin Looking at the current interest rates, I much rather overpay my mortgage to pay if off quicker than saving money which will not be worth anything in a few years.

Floralnomad · 23/12/2016 18:43

If you can afford it and it's things your children will enjoy it's not an issue . I agree with pp , any presents from GPs need to be acknowledged as from them .

SootSprite · 23/12/2016 18:49

I don't see a problem if it's affordable. We spend more than that on dd but we can afford it. What precisely is your issue with this?.....or is this a stealth boast? Xmas Hmm

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