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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to feel a bit shit that they're making me fly alone?

175 replies

SF25 · 16/12/2016 19:57

My mum, dad, sister, brother, niece and I are all going to New York for Christmas (can't wait, have never been before!) I admit that they are in much better jobs than me and do have more money. They're all deciding to fly First, I admit, I'm extremely jealous. There is no way in hell could I afford to pay the extra few thousand pounds!! I have tried asking my mum if they could maybe fly with me and they say that I should have saved throughout the year (mainly my brother and sister) but I just don't have enough to save!! Especially just so I can fly first (as lovely as it looks). It means I do the whole airport faff on my own, as they go to a separate bit. It's not that I can't fly alone, but it feels a bit shit. Especially as DC are with their dad this Christmas. BTW, we were all flying economy (which is when they gave me a price and I said I'd love to come) then they upgraded.

Feel a bit crap tbh.

OP posts:
Katy07 · 16/12/2016 19:59

That is a bit crappy of them. If they'd said at the start they were going first then fair enough but to start economy and then change....

Gooseygoosey12345 · 16/12/2016 20:00

Yeah that's a bit shitty of them but I don't really see a solution :( unless you could borrow the money but it seems a little frivolous to me

Ineededtonamechange · 16/12/2016 20:01

Wow... That is nasty. My family would never do this... ever.

We would rather all go business/premier economy than leave one person out in the cold.

ExitPursuedBySantaSpartacus · 16/12/2016 20:01

First is ridiculously expensive. I'd rather suffer economy and save the money.

You will cope.

Sparlklesilverglitter · 16/12/2016 20:02

But why would they travel in economy all the way to New York when they don't need too, so I can understand them Upgrading TBH

Domino20 · 16/12/2016 20:03

Ahhh, that is super mean of them, what a shame. I completely understand that you will feel left out. Hopefully they'll make sure you aren't sidelined when you arrive. Have you told your mum how you feel?

bakingaddict · 16/12/2016 20:03

I'm sorry that's really bad of your parents to do that they could have stretched to upgrading you and having all the family flying out together. I don't know what to say but hope you have a lovely time

SloeGinandTonic · 16/12/2016 20:04

If they are in 1st then they can guest you into the lounge and through priority check in etc.

Which airline are you on?

TheGruffaloMother · 16/12/2016 20:04

That's not nice of them really. What are the chances they try to surprise you with an upgrade as a gift? Because if they don't, I hope they all feel really guilty getting the first class treatment. I know I'd feel horrible if everyone but one person had managed to upgrade to first class.

Original poster
SF25 · 16/12/2016 20:05

Well, Spar because they knew I would only be able to come if it was economy, so they all agreed economy at the start, it seems really mean to arrange it all and me pay and then decide to upgrade, knowing I just can't afford it.

OP posts:
EatTheCake · 16/12/2016 20:05

Me and dh earn more than my sis and her DH so when we go on holiday together me, DH and my DC go first class and she goes economy it's never casused problems. I have even sometimes upgraded at a later date, again never caused any issues.

I can understand why your family have upgraded, why travel economy when you don't need too. It's a shame for you but that's life isn't it

bittapitta · 16/12/2016 20:05

I agree that is not on. Couldnt one of them travel in economy with you? A bit of a sour start to the holiday.

Do they realise that you will not even be in the same part of the airport beforehand? Could you pay to be in the first class lounge with them for that bit?

Original poster
SF25 · 16/12/2016 20:06

Really Sloe? British Airways

OP posts:
Petalbird · 16/12/2016 20:06

I would be worried that they may try and do other expensive stuff without you when you are there

JenniferYellowHat1980 · 16/12/2016 20:06

If they're not including you in the journey they shouldn't have invitees you at all. What happens in NYC when they're flashing the cash on expensive meals but you can't afford to? I suppose they expect you to find yourself a McDonalds. Rude, YANBU.

bittapitta · 16/12/2016 20:06

EatTheCake it's never caused any problems as she is too polite to say anything, I imagine Hmm

TheGruffaloMother · 16/12/2016 20:07

Do the economy decision was specifically with you in mind, then they all decided they cared more about flying first class than leaving you behind?! Shock

I'd be astonished if they hadn't pulled together to upgrade you.

Pinkheart5915 · 16/12/2016 20:07

I don't see an issue with it

bittapitta · 16/12/2016 20:08

Could they split the cost of your upgrade between them as your Christmas present? Or is that beyond the pale to ask?

Original poster
SF25 · 16/12/2016 20:09

Pink have you done it before too then?

I don't think they have secretly upgraded me, I really don't. You can just tell by the way they said it.

OP posts:
Patriciathestripper1 · 16/12/2016 20:09

That is well bad! They are really shitty. If they are that well off you would think that they could all club together and upgrade you too!

Ineededtonamechange · 16/12/2016 20:11

Eatthecake - I get what you are saying, but that is one family vs another, rather than leaving one individual out, which is harsh.

Original poster
SF25 · 16/12/2016 20:11

They're annoyed that I haven't been 'putting money away for the holiday' but I don't think they quite get that there isn't any money to put away, if I'm going to pick paying the bills or put money away for holiday, there is an obvious answer I have to go with. To be honest, it's the fact their my family that has annoyed me with it, it isn't like I'm with a partner of child, it's only me who has been left out from it.

OP posts:
PumpkinPie71 · 16/12/2016 20:11

We go on holiday with my older brother and sil each August and they travel first class, me and dh can't afford it. I don't resent my brother for travelling first class and I certainly don't think his mean. He can afford it and if the boot was on the other foot I'd do it like a fucking shot!

I don't see the problem. You will be fine

SloeGinandTonic · 16/12/2016 20:11

BA is the easiest airline. You can go into the concorde room with them- they can guest 2 people in each. They don't even need to be on the same plane.

With Virgin you need to be on the same flight.

Not sure about going through priority lanes (you can with Virgin) but to be honest it will be as quick at T5 through the main one. You can check in at the desk with them no problem- or even better get them to check your baggage as they will have a big allowance. you go through screening nd you will be there to meet them as they come out and you can go into the lounge together.

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