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AIBU?

to feel a bit shit that they're making me fly alone?

175 replies

SF25 · 16/12/2016 19:57

My mum, dad, sister, brother, niece and I are all going to New York for Christmas (can't wait, have never been before!) I admit that they are in much better jobs than me and do have more money. They're all deciding to fly First, I admit, I'm extremely jealous. There is no way in hell could I afford to pay the extra few thousand pounds!! I have tried asking my mum if they could maybe fly with me and they say that I should have saved throughout the year (mainly my brother and sister) but I just don't have enough to save!! Especially just so I can fly first (as lovely as it looks). It means I do the whole airport faff on my own, as they go to a separate bit. It's not that I can't fly alone, but it feels a bit shit. Especially as DC are with their dad this Christmas. BTW, we were all flying economy (which is when they gave me a price and I said I'd love to come) then they upgraded.

Feel a bit crap tbh.

OP posts:

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deste · 16/12/2016 20:34

Bloody teenagers, really.

Viviennemary · 16/12/2016 20:35

I don't think this is on either. Mean lot. Can't believe people go on holiday together and fly separately because they've got more money.

MistresssIggi · 16/12/2016 20:35

They are your parents for goodness sake. Which of us on here would go on a family holiday with grown up children and leave one of them out like this? My dm would give me her seat and fly hanging off the wing before she would do this.
You have your own dcs OP, you could take them for a weekend away for the price of the upgrade by the sound of it, and they are your priority. You will live NY, even if you don't spend much time with your scroogelike family.

SloeGinandTonic · 16/12/2016 20:36

Snow is coming into the east coast. All flights on the 17th and 18th cancelled or delayed.

Vombatidae · 16/12/2016 20:38

Sounds horrible OP. But yes, they can check you in to the first class lounge with them. If you're flying from Heathrow T5 then you can even have food in the Concorde Lounge before you go. The lounge is the best bit to be honest, so fill up on free champers and yummy food before you go and enjoy! It's a short flight, def not worth first class for - how mean of them!

galaxygirl45 · 16/12/2016 20:40

I'd be really surprised if they haven't upgraded you and will gift it you at the airport......... if they don't I'm not sure I'd even go with them. To separate one of you on a family trip is really shitty behaviour and I'm not surprised you feel a bit down about it. It's not what was agreed at the time of booking, and doesn't seem very nice. But on the other hand, NYC is an amazing amazing place and you'll have the best time there!!

Sparklingbrook · 16/12/2016 20:41

I think that's really, really mean. But on the other hand I wouldn't bother going first class to NY and would rather spend the money on material things while I am there.

There is no way on earth my parents would do it to me or that I would do it to my own DC.

JayDot500 · 16/12/2016 20:42

The main reason why I feel this is selfish of them? Because, if they are so fabulously wealthy they should have all huddled and shared the upgrade price for you. They are not friends, this is your parents. Your brother. I feel so awful for you. I would never do this to anyone and equally I would never accept this from my parents or siblings. Friends yes, but not them. I'm a fan of everyone doing what they enjoy on holiday, but this is exclusion. But screw them, enjoy your holiday.

I was having a conversation with my MIL about the crisis that is care for the elderly, and the loneliness a lot of them suffer. My MIL (an older woman herself) thinks that people spend so much time and money separating themselves from others, even dear family. So when the time comes, they get old and find themselves exactly where they always wanted to be... Just a theory I haven't bought into, but shit like this makes me seriously think she might be on to something.

AliceInUnderpants · 16/12/2016 20:44

Oh I love travelling alone. I'd enjoy the peace and quiet and time to regroup on my own without being expected to socialise

Castleheights · 16/12/2016 20:45

It's very Scrooge-like of your family.

airforsharon · 16/12/2016 20:45

Out of interest, if the holiday had been arranged in the first place with them all flying first class and you flying however you could afford, would you have been happy to go?

I agree with bloody teenagers, for me the hurtful part would be their changing from economy (and therefore flying with me) to first class (and therefore leaving me separated from them on the flight). If that had been the original plan I wouldn't have minded at all, but for the rest of the group (and it's your close family, not a hen party or such) to upgrade knowing it would exclude me - I would find that a bit crap. I hope it's not a taste of things to come when you actually get there OP.

BitchQueen90 · 16/12/2016 20:47

I think that's mean. If I could afford to fly first class and a family member couldn't then I would certainly offer to pay for them. Leaving just one person out is horrible IMO.

e1y1 · 16/12/2016 20:47

Wow... That is nasty. My family would never do this... ever

This. It's just wrong, mine would either loan (or even pay) the fee for upgrade or would remain in Economy (this is if we were ever in a position to all fly 1st .

But whilst 1st is the best, the laugh would be on them from me - UK to
NY is only about 6/7hours. If it were a 22+ hour flight to Oz or something, then absolutely worth the upgrade. 6 hours to NY - no.

Casmama · 16/12/2016 20:49

I think you are being a bit childish to be honest. You have such an issue with your family making you fly on your own yet your own dc aren't even getting to go!
I hope they can get you into the lounge but if not then you just need to get over it.

choli · 16/12/2016 20:49

It wouldn't bother me at all, I very much prefer flying by myself, and am delighted if my DH can't be seated beside me

Redesul · 16/12/2016 20:49

they say that I should have saved throughout the year

What, when they told you they had all booked economy? Why would you save for first class when you were told economy? That's just harsh! If it were me I'd simply say I've saved long and hard for a nice holiday in NY, and I wont be made to feel bad because I'd rather a holiday than a seat.

I do feel for you OP, my family used to pull this shit all the time. It made me feel like I didn't matter. (we don't actually talk anymore).

fourquenelles · 16/12/2016 20:50

Really unthinking of them if not downright mean Op. Just hold on to the fact that it's the same plane that will take off and land at the same time. Enjoy the opportunity to do your own thing.

LindyHemming · 16/12/2016 20:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Serialweightwatcher · 16/12/2016 20:56

I think it's rotten of them to do this - would it be so terrible for them to have flown alongside you instead of leaving you out, or if they're obviously that well off, treated you to join them - think it's really mean of them

Ineedmorelemonpledge · 16/12/2016 20:56

Are your family the Mccallisters op?

Sounds a bit shitty to me. Do you still want to go?

They'll all go and sit in the lounge for two hours on each side, and leave you in that long security line and stuck at the gate?

They still have to wait for you to disembark, they know that right? And you have to do the crappily slow immigration queue?

Book the last row and wait for everyone else to leave.

In fact I'd be tempted to book a separate flight and get there before them. Or invite a friend to go with you and share your room.

bloodyteenagers · 16/12/2016 20:57

Yes I really would look at cancelling. You arrange something as a group you do t change at the last minute without everyone agreeing to it.
They will be in another part of the plane, socialising, chatting about the plans and the op will be elsewhere.

Others posting about they go away and it happens all the time. You are missing the point. You agreed to this. The op didn't. The
Op paid for something everyone else was also paying for.

SF25 · 16/12/2016 20:57

Cas - have you ever heard about a divorce?

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SF25 · 16/12/2016 20:57

We have to share Christmases

OP posts:

Helloitsme87 · 16/12/2016 20:59

Maybe they've upgraded you as a surprise?

DailyFail1 · 16/12/2016 20:59

I could afford to fly first with dh, but when we go on family holidays we always travel economy as that is what my siblings can afford. It's horrible that they're excluding you like this, after convincing you to go in the first place by booking economy. If this were me, I would quietly check out of the hotel book another one and spend the holiday alone.

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