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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think she is completely overreacting

90 replies

Queenofthecats · 06/11/2016 21:05

and being a total bitch

DP and I are currently having work done on our house so are staying with MIL.

She is really funny about people using her washing machine and dryer, BIL actually his girlfriend broke the last 2 washing machines so understandable, so does everyone's washing. We've been here for about a month so far and in that time despite taking our washing serval times and muddling with everyone else's so I can't take it and do elsewhere without having to go through everything we've had probably less than 10 items back. She keeps putting washes on and then leaving it days so it starts smelling and having to be washed again so one wash is done a billion times before we've got anything back. So far since being here she's completed 2 loads.

Obviously at some point I'm going to have run out of clothes, especially underwear which can't be worn a few times before washing, so yesterday afternoon I mentioned to MIL that I'm getting low so could I use the washing machine this one time and she got all huffy and said she would do it. The load she had put on is still in there. 🙄 I asked if I could at the very least get a few pairs of knickers that I'll put on the radiator in our room and DP told me I could and I didn't need to ask. Whilst doing that she saw me and shouted at me to stop and she would put it all in the dryer when she's finished what she was doing she still hasn't

This was at about 6 and MIL has been sulking since. She's told DP I had no right to touch her washing machine and she isn't going to talk/cook/wash/do anything for me until I apologise.

She's being U right? Or should I never have touched her precious washing machine?

I'm just at the end of not having anything clean to wear now. I never thought I'd be so upset about not having pants. Grin

I ofc totally appreciate MIL letting us stay here and everything she does, Its just frustrating and i needed to get it out and I can't moan to DP about it.

OP posts:
frugalprincess · 06/11/2016 21:07

She sounds bonkers.

She'd have you going about in dirty knickers!

Tell her to get over herself

BratFarrarsPony · 06/11/2016 21:07

Take it to a launderette and wash out smalls by hand.
sounds like a nightmare.

Robinkitty · 06/11/2016 21:07

I'd just go to the launderette.

DearMrDilkington · 06/11/2016 21:08

How old is she? That's really weird behaviour. Is she a bit strange with other things or just washing?

gunting · 06/11/2016 21:08

Bloody hell, that is bizarre. Confused

Go to the launderette or buy some new knickers. You can't be going commando in this weather.

Tarla · 06/11/2016 21:08

I'm boggles at anyone being so attached to their washing machine! Can you apologise for the sake of harmonious living so there isn't an atmosphere and then Google the location of your nearest laundrette? Or is there a friend or relative who would do some washing for you? When friends have had washing machine breakdowns I've been happy to run a load through mine for them.

Original poster
Queenofthecats · 06/11/2016 21:09

I'm definitely going to do that from now on, I wanted to do that after the first 2 weeks but DP kept taking our washing down when she asked if anyone had anything.

OP posts:
BolivarAtasco · 06/11/2016 21:09

What the actual fuck? Get your stuff out of the machine and dry it yourself! I would not be waiting for her to do it.

Does she have an actual lock on the washing machine to stop you using it when you need to?

Coughingchildren5 · 06/11/2016 21:09

Just use the launderette. She doesn't want you touching her machine, she doesn't want to do your washing for you... Sort your own stuff out.

user1478450549 · 06/11/2016 21:10

It's enough she's putting you up for at least a month, why not go to a lauderette instead of letting her do your washing for you?
It sounds like she can't cope with it all but doesn't want yet another broken washing machine. Poor woman.

user1478450549 · 06/11/2016 21:11

and she isn't going to talk/cook/wash/do anything for me until I apologise

Just saw this, are you letting her cook and clean for you as well? No wonder she has had enough of you!

ChoudeBruxelles · 06/11/2016 21:11

How long do you need to stay with them? Could you stay somewhere else. I don't think I could cope with that behaviour

ChardonnayKnickertonSmythe · 06/11/2016 21:11

She's bonkers.

ATruthUniversallyAcknowledged · 06/11/2016 21:12

I think you need to talk to her. Apologise for offending her by using the machine, but say you really do need to do some washing now and because you really don't want to inconvenience her further, you'll do your own washing from now on. Perhaps you could buy a airer that you could put in your room so that you don't have to use the dryer?

Waltermittythesequel · 06/11/2016 21:14

You don't cook or clean either??

Eevee77 · 06/11/2016 21:14

Yup, use a launderette. She sounds nuts.

When I lived with MIL our clothes would be washed, dried, ironed and folded on our bed 24 hours later Blush

LineyReborn · 06/11/2016 21:14

How the fuck did BIL and gf break two washing machines? Is that even true?

BolivarAtasco · 06/11/2016 21:15

I'm not really sure the OP is at fault here.

If there's a launderette nearby, I'd use that instead. Or brazen it out and do your washing/drying in her machine when you need to.

I'm sorry, but getting possessive over people using a washing machine in these circumstances is nuts. It sounds like she's trying to keep control over something while you're there and the washing is the thing.

PigletWasPoohsFriend · 06/11/2016 21:16

Does she do all the cooking etc for you all too?

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 06/11/2016 21:16

I think your best bet after washing machine gate Grin is to hand wash underwear in the sink and bag up your dirty clothes and husband's and do a couple of big loads at the laundered from now on.

You sound remarkably laid back about it. I would be very upset not to have clean knickers! It sounds like you're all tip toeing around MIL but maybe she is struggling to have you all stay? Old people seem to get very set in their ways sometimes and don't like a change in their routine.

Hope your house is ready soon, for your own sanity Smile.

ChardonnayKnickertonSmythe · 06/11/2016 21:17

Can you promise you will replace the washing machine if it brakes down when you're using it?
Maybe she'll let you do your washing then.

Original poster
Queenofthecats · 06/11/2016 21:19

Just saw this, are you letting her cook and clean for you as well? No wonder she has had enough of you!

No, I'm not. She cooks for every one in the evening, I usually wash up after.

she doesn't want to do your washing for you... Sort your own stuff out.

I would but she insists, she told me off yes she told me, a 23 year old, off for trying to sort through the massive pile of stuff so I could get my stuff out and take it over to use my mums washing machine (I had her permission)

She had DP when she was 18 I think so she's early 40s ish I do believe?

I will apologise just to make things easier.

And yes, she's like this with everything and very highly strung. I work from home and she doesn't work so is also home all day so I can even do things sneaky during the day.

OP posts:
dotdotdotmustdash · 06/11/2016 21:20

Surely you're not 'using' her washing machine if you just lift your laundry out when it's done and hang it in your bedroom?

Original poster
Queenofthecats · 06/11/2016 21:21

How the fuck did BIL and gf break two washing machines? Is that even true?

Putting the power in the wrong place the first time and the second time I just think the machine was a faulty one but she wanted someone to blame. The 2nd time Samsung replaced it free.

OP posts:
ChardonnayKnickertonSmythe · 06/11/2016 21:23

Just keep your laundry and do your wash g at your mum's then.