To feel very uncomfortable about this Guardian article?

[KingscoteStaff]

Front page of the 'Family' section. A grandfather talking about his 21 yo granddaughter who has just committed suicide.

It just doesn't feel real. Could it be some sort of exercise in writing the most unsympathetic narrator ever?

Link?

www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2016/nov/05/my-granddaughter-the-girl-who-refused-to-let-joy-into-her-life

It's horrible

www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2016/nov/05/my-granddaughter-the-girl-who-refused-to-let-joy-into-her-life

I think she was right, he didn't seem to like her very much. Not a nice article.

Toxic doesn't even begin to describe this charmer.

God that's hard to read - why use one world when you can use a flowery meaningless paragraph??

I'm in two minds. A lot of people wax lyrical after a suicide, rose tinted glasses looking back at the past. This guy is just writing it as it is, from his perspective. He seems angry and somewhat defeated with his granddaughter. I get that.

Would I have published a similar article when my partner took his own life? No. But do I get the way in which this guy wrote this? Kind of.

It's pretty vile, it's also possibly the most badly written thing I've ever read.
I notice it's not been opened up for comments.

I couldn't finish reading that. He seems to blame and dislike his granddaughter for her mental illness.

"We did nice things for her and she was still sad! She made poor life choices!" Well, yeah, that'll be mental illness for you.

What a cunt.

I dunno, maybe he's dealing with a lot of anger after loss. It reads like that to me anyway.

"There always was a surfeit of available explanations for Emma’s irrational conduct. Self-dramatisation, attention-seeking, shortcuts to fame, laziness, hormones, bad seed … there’s a clarity, a sensibleness, a sameness to them all, the inexorable logic of those convinced of their own rationality."

Why write this? He obviously didn't like her. He sounds like an abusive person, if it quacks like a duck, it is a duck.

OP you are right. It makes for very uncomfortable reading.

I couldn't get through it all. But I do understand his thoughts on this. I suppose her mother would write a different article.

I think it's really interesting and goes some way to reflect the frustrations of the relatives of 'self destructive' individuals. He isn't pretending he had a lovely relationship with his grand daughter or that he understood her or that he could help her. In fact, his point is the opposite. That doesn't make him toxic. It makes him honest. He might express other feelings in a few years time.

That was such sad reading it just reads like he blames her for her mental illness and not snapping out of it because they took her on nice trips

"Bad seed" is enough to stop me reading.

There is a simple explanation for that sentence : Unkindness.

He is very bitter. I sense he also feels some shame/guilt which he is directing back at her.

Oh thank goodness it's not just me. I thought he sounded quite nasty.

I usually buy the Guardian on a Saturday; they can fuck off if they're going to run stigma reinforcing shite like this though.
All they're interested is now is click through for advertisers; they're almost as bad as the sodding Mail.

I think it's a revolting article. Particularly awful is the sense he puts over that his grandaughter's suicide was inevitable (that's the sense I read, particularly all the stuff about her years after 21 not being missed as they weren't hers to lose). Then putting the links to sources of support for potential suicides at the end of the article seems a bit on the ironic side.

Pretty irresponsible to publish an article suggesting anyone is beyond help with mental illness, I think.

I'm not surprised at the Guardian printing it though, I think they have no moral filter these days.

His writing style is difficult to read.
I wonder what Emma's parents reaction to this was? If she were my DD there would be NC with the DGF after this :(
He doesn't appear to have any compassion for her as a child or adult. She knew that, it may have been a contribution to the inevitable?

I guessed which article it was before I opened the thread. Mean and horrible and so badly written I could hardly make sense of it.

I think the language is amazing more like poetry. He explained that he wasn't going to do that thing people do where they make out someone is saintly after their death. He describes how it feels to have a family member that is very difficult to help. There will be people reading it, thinking 'thank goodness it's not only me that feels frustrated by my family member'. People experiencing mental health problems, especially young adults aren't always gentle, submissive and eagerly grateful for help. You might wonder if some of the awkwardness he described might have been inherited from him but I think he has an important perspective of the story to relate.

His writing style is atrocious, and surely if Jewishness goes down the female line, his daughters would be their mothers religion, not his? (Irrelevant)

It reads like he never liked her, even as a young child. Even when he talks about taking her to Niagara Falls as a six year old, he manages to convey that the experience was a big sacrifice for him.