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Vegetable substitutes for carbs are crap

76 replies

GinSoakedBarroomQueenInMemphis · 13/10/2016 16:41

Courgetti and carrotetti or whatever it's called instead of pasta = crap.

Sweet potato fries instead of chips = crap. (Not sure if sweet potatoes are a vegetable, but it's irrelevant. They're still crap.)

Mashed cauliflower instead of mashed potato = crap.

Cauliflower rice = crap.

Mashed celariac instead of mashed potato = double crap.

I'm most outraged with cauliflower. I love cauliflower when it's in its rightful place (on a roast dinner WITH ROAST POTATOES or in a curry), but mash it with sour cream and garlic, and it turns into devil vomit.

I'm not even being unreasonable. Potatoes and pasta and rice are lovely. Carb wish-you-were vegetables are just a huge massive vomity and expensive disappointment.

“The best way to cut carbs from your diet is to make creative substitutions,” says Irritating Chirpy Clear-Skinned Slim Nutritionist.
Oh, bog off.

OP posts:
DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 13/10/2016 16:42

I prefer courgetti to pasta.

80sWaistcoat · 13/10/2016 16:44

Agree with you on most of that - apart from celeriac - really like it - roasted or mashed (with potato to give structure).

Also like a nice swede and carrot mash....

Cauliflower rice is particularly crap as is cauliflower pizza base.

drspouse · 13/10/2016 16:44

I lurve sweet potato fries and so do the DC. They are no more healthy though, at least in terms of calories.

Sparklesilverglitter · 13/10/2016 16:44

I agree, but I am a carb lover and to me a life without carbs just isn't living.

No body is going to fool me in to thinking a bloody courgette is anything like spaghetti- just have the spaghetti already!

I know low carving is the trend at the moment, but it's nothing something I'd ever do

limeandsoda93 · 13/10/2016 16:44

YANBU. They're crap. Apart from sweet potato fries which are actually very carby.

PickAChew · 13/10/2016 16:45

YANBU. I love cauliflower with a curry, but in proper big chunks. With rice.

Titsywoo · 13/10/2016 16:45

I dunno - if you add loads of butter and parmesan to mashed cauliflower it is pretty lush. No good if you are on a diet of course Grin

Middleoftheroad · 13/10/2016 16:46

I bought that awful slim pasta last year. Yuk. Nothing fills me up like bread, pasta or potatoes sigh....

shovetheholly · 13/10/2016 16:46

The slim pasta is the stuff of the devil. Revolting.

ALLthedinosaurs · 13/10/2016 16:47

YANBU.

It's crap. I love courgettes cut in rings and griddled, not shredded into slimy messy vom.

There is nothing wrong with carbs in moderation. Just eat smaller portions.

MOIST · 13/10/2016 16:47

Yup. All crap.

Except celeriac. Celeriac is nice. But I'm horribly allergic to it.

Millionreasons · 13/10/2016 16:47

I agree. I love vegetables and liked the idea of courgetti etc and it was all horrible.

pinklovelypink71 · 13/10/2016 16:48

I agree OP.,and a High five to sparkle I'm a carb lover too.

Low carbing might be the latest thing but it's not something I'd do I could never give up my carbs.

Nobody, no one at all is going to convince me that cauliflower mash is the same as lovely creamy delicious mashed potatoe.

amusedbush · 13/10/2016 16:51

YANBU.

Crap, the lot of them!

Oysterbabe · 13/10/2016 16:51

I prefer shredded cabbage to courgetti. You don't get the wateriness. And I make cauli cheese to replace the carbs with some things. You are right though, my body ain't fooled.

poisonedbypen · 13/10/2016 16:54

I love butternut squash spaghetti!

icandoscience · 13/10/2016 16:54

I've never tried courgetti but I'm with you on all the rest! I tried serving cauliflower 'rice' with curry once and DP banned me from ever doing it again because he couldn't stop farting

CremeEggThief · 13/10/2016 16:54

YABU about sweet potato fries, but YANBU about the rest. I liked the taste of courgetti, but I didn't like the fact I had to make myself a peanut butter sandwich 2 hours later, as I was so hungry!

Ginkypig · 13/10/2016 16:55

Somtimes it's about the way you cook it apparently.

Courgetti boiled is horrible but courgetti done in the oven on a tray is crispy loveliness

Disclaimer Iv not tried it but Iv been told

Elendon · 13/10/2016 16:57

I hate courgettes full stop. Slimy and awful. A low carb diet is just that. Cut out huge big plates of potatoes, pasta and rice. Bulk with vegetables and protein.

I can't even imagine cauliflower rice - the very thought!

maggiethemagpie · 13/10/2016 16:57

Yes, you're not wrong OP but being overweight and, in my case, ill due to diabetes is crapper.

I do find beansprouts fried up with some oil are a good thing to have with rice and curries.

I also swear by Livlife low carb bread which is made with soya flour, not as good as the real thing but it's BREAD and doesn't taste too bad toasted.

Shiningexample · 13/10/2016 16:57

I don't believe all this low carb stuff, I eat load of carbs and its never made me fat

WhatWouldLeslieKnopeDo · 13/10/2016 16:57

YANBU. Celeriac is especially gross.

I can't eat most vegetables so thankfully I have a good excuse to avoid all these disappointing fake carbs.

User543212345 · 13/10/2016 16:59

Courgette works as a carb substitute if it's Byron courgette fries. If it's not them then it's disappointing.

Sweet potato fries are lovely.

Everything else YANBU about. Except saying that cauliflower has a rightful place other than the bin.

GinSoakedBarroomQueenInMemphis · 13/10/2016 16:59

Apart from sweet potato fries which are actually very carby.

Oh are they carby? I didn't know that. Good, well they can bog right off then.

Do I dare try cabbage instead of pasta? That actually sounds nice.

And yes, agree about courgettes. Griddled, in a stir fry: bloody lovely. Spirulised, pretending to be spaghetti: spirit-crushing.

OP posts: