Vegetable substitutes for carbs are crap

[GinSoakedBarroomQueenInMemphis]

Courgetti and carrotetti or whatever it's called instead of pasta = crap.

Sweet potato fries instead of chips = crap. (Not sure if sweet potatoes are a vegetable, but it's irrelevant. They're still crap.)

Mashed cauliflower instead of mashed potato = crap.

Cauliflower rice = crap.

Mashed celariac instead of mashed potato = double crap.

I'm most outraged with cauliflower. I love cauliflower when it's in its rightful place (on a roast dinner WITH ROAST POTATOES or in a curry), but mash it with sour cream and garlic, and it turns into devil vomit.

I'm not even being unreasonable. Potatoes and pasta and rice are lovely. Carb wish-you-were vegetables are just a huge massive vomity and expensive disappointment.

“The best way to cut carbs from your diet is to make creative substitutions,” says Irritating Chirpy Clear-Skinned Slim Nutritionist.
Oh, bog off.

[Titsywoo]

I don't use these things as a carb substitute - more a way to get more veg in my diet and often I just don't want piles of steamed veg with my dinner so adding it creatively is a good way of doing it. I love cauliflower rice fried with onions and garlic. Courgetti that you get in the shop is slimy and horrible but if you make it yourself (I have a spiraliser) it is lovely.

[crikey81]

courgetti and the like is ten times better than gf pasta

[Liiinoo]

We bought a pizza maker at the Ideal Home. The demonstrator recommended using a tortilla wrap as a base. It makes a delicious low carb, crispy pizza with what ever cheese, veg etc we have in the fridge as toppings and it takes about 10 minutes from thinking 'I fancy a pizza for tea' to eating it. It cost about £80.00 but we have saved so much more than that on take away orders.

[fourquenelles]

Thought I'd have a go at sweet potato toast. I put it in the toaster at the end of August. It's still not fucking cooked!

[Revealall]

Wow Trinity, that Fathead Pizza base looks amazing.

I'm making that bread for my poached eggs .Just a shame that it will cost about £3.00 a slice. Hey ho.

[GinSoakedBarroomQueenInMemphis]

That ham cucumber thing In the same category, have you seen the beefburgers wrapped in lettuce leaves instead of a nice white barmcake?

[oldlaundbooth]

Oh for gods sake.

It doesn't have enough be no carb, it can just be lower carb. You can eat lentils and squash and shit instead of bread and chips and lose three stone. Even baked spuds and the odd spag bol.

You pick your battles.

[stopgap]

I agree. I'd rather just sauté or roast vegetables with heaps of garlic and olive oil.

I have eaten some excellent almond flour substitutes for bread and cookies, though.

[TrinityForce]

I tried a cucumber sub, it was alright but it kept sliding around and was a pain in the arse.

OP
TRY 'FATHEAD PIZZA' just google it. It tastes better than real pizza.

[JaceLancs]

I love the idea of that cucumber sub
But I don't eat much carbs anyway as I either don't like the taste or am allergic to them
I'm still fat though as I like alcohol and chocolate!

[ZaZathecat]

I bought spiralised courgette and made a bolignaise sauce. Whole family hated it and the slop went in the bin. So YANBU. Except regarding sweet potato chips which are ace.

[Sparklesilverglitter]

Cucmber sub wtaf?

Like why would you even bother? Just eat the proper sandwich!! Also who on this earth can eat a whole sodding cucumber?

[FindoGask]

YANBU! Bread, pasta and potatoes make the world go round. Fuck courgetti and its unholy ilk.

[TiggyD]

Sweet potato is gorgeous. Carby though. I think it's the whole "carbiness" of carbs I like.

[ThePinkOcelot]

Lol at cucumber sub!!

[ThePinkOcelot]

Cauliflower rice is horrible. It even smells horrible. I like courgettie tho. I normally just mix it in to bolognaise and warm through. Never boiled it.

[Oysterbabe]

Just fuck off.

[Oysterbabe]

Also ham wrapped in a lettuce leaf is not a sandwich.

[Eolian]

Yanbu. Low carb makes you lose weight, but so do other diets if you stick to them. Low carb is impossible to stick to long-term, as are most other diets. Carbs are not inherently bad for you, neither are fats. Eating too much of either will make you fat. Eating veg is nicer when you eat it because it tastes nice, not as a substitute for something else.

[GinSoakedBarroomQueenInMemphis]

Oh yes, Revealall, I forgot about the portobello toast crap. I don't even need to try that one to know it's going to be a major disappointment.

[happyvalley4]

I totally agree with you OP.

[Revealall]

Agreed.

My particular bugbear is poached egg on "toast". I love mushrooms. But a portebello mushroom is absolutely not a lovely crisp, crunchy peice of delicious toast to soak up the runny egg...
.I love poached egg on toast. Who'd have thought I miss it more than cake.

[SukeyTakeItOffAgain]

They're all crap apart from mashed sweet potato.

I need carbs or I'd waste away.

[petitpois55]

Noe Swede ireally s the food of the devil, whether it's in a fake Gnocchi or not

[Pythonesque]

For those not sure which veg is "carby" - very rough rule of thumb, root vegetables are plant's energy storage so tend to be higher carb content. Though some more than others hence most will have less carbs than potatoes.