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AIBU?

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Original poster

Would you be upset by what I say?

130 replies

glass22 · 02/10/2016 11:46

I've name changed because I feel I'm in enough trouble and worry myself about everything.

I work in a primary school and give first aid regularly. A complaint has been made by another member of staff that I keep threatening to chop children's arms & legs off!!!!

When a child comes to me bleeding and crying I try not to draw to much attention to the injury whilst patching them up, talking about all sorts and it seems to calm them. I have on occasion joked "we will have to chop it off, what do you think?" This is absolutely said in jest and in a very light hearted way. Out of context it sounds horrific but this couldn't be further from the truth. I've never had a child upset by the comment and in fact most of them burst into laughter.

I can understand why it was mentioned to me but I think the complaint from the member of staff was made maliciously because she has unknown issues with me.

I'm now uncomfortable around the children and very aware of everything I say and do for fear of it being taken out of context.

OP posts:
Ohhhhbother · 02/10/2016 11:49

My mother used to say the same thing to me if I fell over, the staff member is definitely being malicious or has no sense of humour try not to worry.

FedUpBird · 02/10/2016 11:50

Bloody hell, what is the world coming too. I say the same sort of things and kids always know I'm joking.

The other woman has issues not you...can you speak to her about the problem she has with you?

Shockers · 02/10/2016 11:51

I usually say I have a rusty saw in the cupboard, should I get it, or do you think you can manage?

Always raises a smile, even from the most tear stained. I think if something like that is said with humour and a hug (side on- natch 😉), it would only be an issue to someone with little common sense.

Obviously I wouldn't use this approach with a black/white thinker... gotta know your audience.

PaulAnkaTheDog · 02/10/2016 11:51

Completely malicious and completely pathetic.

ElsaAintAsColdAsMe · 02/10/2016 11:54

That's a tricky one. 4 of my children would be fine with that. One would absolutely take it literally and it would play on her mind and cause anxiety and probably a meltdown.

That said, I don't think it's complaint worthy unless you said it to a child like mine and it caused issues.

Generally it's a pretty standard thing to say.

The staff member should have raised their 'concerns' with you first imo.

ChocolateForAll · 02/10/2016 11:54

Ridiculously uncalled for. YADNBU. This is absurd. I'd be happy for my child to have you looking after them in the medical room FWIW.

charlybs · 02/10/2016 11:55

YANBU - I've said this to kids in a school setting to raise a smile. Whoever reported you is being a little B

Realhousewivesofshit · 02/10/2016 11:56

I think If I was questioned or it was taken seriously I would refuse to carry on being the first aider. You must be the registered one in your school so threaten to withdraw. You don't have to take on the responsibility.

They won't want the expense of training up another person.

Then have it out with her face to face in s calm measured way.

WatchingFromTheWings · 02/10/2016 11:56

YANBU. My mum said it to me and I say it to my kids. The other staff member is an idiot.

m0therofdragons · 02/10/2016 11:57

I say this too and have joked dd's paper cut looks fatal Blush dc need to be taught to laugh and your colleague is nuttier than a bowl of crunchy nut cornflakes! (Disclaimer: I have 3dc and all currently have correct amount of limbs).

JustSpeakSense · 02/10/2016 11:59

There is absolutely nothing wrong with what you say, perfect way to distract and get a smile. I think the member of staff who mentioned it is bonkers, and has no sense of humour. If this is all they can come up with to complain about I think it's pretty pathetic. I would be having a talk with them and finding out exactly what their problem was.

Soubriquet · 02/10/2016 12:00

I use it with my children

They soon shut up whinging about the tiny scratch on their arm Grin

ErrolTheDragon · 02/10/2016 12:00

Fine with most kids but not all. I know someone who was still a bit bugged as an adult about a joke his aunty used to make about throwing him in the bin. He knew it was a joke, he knew she loved him a lot but it still evidently upset him.

So while a 'complaint' is OTT, a slight warning that this sort of approach needs some caution might be apt.

Allice · 02/10/2016 12:01

I work in a similar job to you and say the same all the time, I often offer an axe or a knife! Most kids pick the axe!

Like you I find it tends to calm them down and make them giggle, if a friend is with them I tell them to hold the leg so I can chop it!

Coconutty · 02/10/2016 12:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

wineandcheeseplease · 02/10/2016 12:03

I say it to children at work all the time. They love it! Yadnbu

MarklahMarklah · 02/10/2016 12:03

I say this all the time to my DD.
"Mummy, I've got a headache"
"Oh dear. Shall we chop it off, or do you think a few minutes sitting quietly will help?"

"Mummy, I hurt my toe"
"Oh no! Quick - I'll cut it off and then it won't hurt."

TroysMammy · 02/10/2016 12:03

I used to get the same off my mother and I say it myself but nearly became unstuck when I was in work. A child came in with his mum and whilst I was dealing with her he decided to press the bell for attention. I nearly said in jest "don't do that or I"ll chop your fingers off" when I noticed he only had one hand. Blush

Amandahugandkisses · 02/10/2016 12:04

I always say lets bang the other one when DD hurts her arm/ leg!

How ridiculous.

MissMogwi · 02/10/2016 12:06

There are some absolute precious arseholes about.

I've said that to my DC for years, now they eye roll at my hilarious quips, but when they were little it made them smile.

Autumnsunshinebaby · 02/10/2016 12:08

I'd much rather you said that and made my child laugh than be doom and gloom about the situation and worry my child further. I don't think this colleague has a leg to stand on with her complaint... Actually threatening to chop it off probably wouldn't worth with her, not sure you'd get a smile!

TaliDiNozzo · 02/10/2016 12:09

Oh for goodness sake, of course it's just a little joke - what kind of moron makes a complaint about that?!

Original poster
glass22 · 02/10/2016 12:11

Fed up- I wasn't told which member of staff it was but it could really only be one. She had her wires crossed the day before and thought I had raised an issue with her. I hadn't but she obviously thought I had which is why I think she scraped the barrel with the complaint about me in retaliation.

It's hard to actually describe how she is with me and on the surface sounds petty which is why I'm very reluctant to mention to anyone, thought I think someone might of noticed finally. She has ignored and blanked me since we began working together. I've made many attempts to converse but I'm lucky to get a one word answer back and she never looks me in the face. It's very difficult to work with. As far as I know I've done nothing to her and before working with her we were complete strangers. I think if the head really knew the situation he might of seen it differently. I don't know, but it's difficult to raise especially now as it could be seen as tit for tat and I'd like to think I'm past that sort of behaviour now I'm in my 40's!

OP posts:
Realhousewivesofshit · 02/10/2016 12:12

Troys omg Shock

Gizlotsmum · 02/10/2016 12:12

My children often get told we'll have to take the limb off when they have a cut.. all in jest and taken the way it is meant. I could imagine some children would take it literally but they would be the minority. Am sure you can judge the situation correctly..