Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would you be upset by what I say?

130 replies

glass22 · 02/10/2016 11:46

I've name changed because I feel I'm in enough trouble and worry myself about everything.

I work in a primary school and give first aid regularly. A complaint has been made by another member of staff that I keep threatening to chop children's arms & legs off!!!!

When a child comes to me bleeding and crying I try not to draw to much attention to the injury whilst patching them up, talking about all sorts and it seems to calm them. I have on occasion joked "we will have to chop it off, what do you think?" This is absolutely said in jest and in a very light hearted way. Out of context it sounds horrific but this couldn't be further from the truth. I've never had a child upset by the comment and in fact most of them burst into laughter.

I can understand why it was mentioned to me but I think the complaint from the member of staff was made maliciously because she has unknown issues with me.

I'm now uncomfortable around the children and very aware of everything I say and do for fear of it being taken out of context.

OP posts:
lostscot · 02/10/2016 13:40

There would be no first aides left where I work if we all got in trouble for that! We all regularly offer scissors, saw or ambulance!!

GingerbreadLatteToGo · 02/10/2016 13:43

I'd speak to the Head again & ask him if any child or parent has ever complained, or just the one staff member who is holding a grudge Hmm

hungryhippo90 · 02/10/2016 13:48

Oh gosh! We say this! Off with the arm! Before cleaning a cut and applying a plaster.
I "chopped off" my friends two year old DDs feet a few weeks ago. Both children find it funny. Along with the picking up, running about and making ambulance noises. Yes I'm crazy. No I can't do it with DD anymore but it takes their minds off what they've just done.

JeffVaderneedsatray · 02/10/2016 13:51

When I was on playground duty if a child came to me with a minor hurt and tears I'd ask if the playground had been dented.
I regularly used to reach onto my pocket for the 'rusty saw'. I also had an invisible tube of magic cream in a pocket.

We do little things to distract children from a minor injury.
Both my children have ASCs and so if I was doing the rusty saw thing with them I really had to make it a pantomime so they knew I was joking.
Bonkers that someone has complained.

Eyedrophell · 02/10/2016 13:52

Oh good lord, I say this frequently at home and at work (after school club).

Mynestisfullofempty · 02/10/2016 13:54

I'd speak to the Head again & ask him if any child or parent has ever complained, or just the one staff member who is holding a grudge

That's a very good idea. The thought did occur to me though, OP, would you definitely know in advance if a child was going to take it seriously and worry?

lionheart · 02/10/2016 13:55

No, I wouldn't be bothered. 'Scraping the bottom of the barrel' sounds about right but at least you now know to watch your back where your colleague is concerned.

LindyHemming · 02/10/2016 13:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

kesstrel · 02/10/2016 13:59

Part of children becoming socialised into the adult world is learning to understand jokes and how they work. There are many, many things that might potentially upset some children; if we stop doing all of them, they will never develop the resilience and understanding to cope with the adult world.

Foxysoxy01 · 02/10/2016 14:04

When I fell over as a kid my mother used to come over give me a sly check to make sure no broken bones and in a cheerful breazy way ask 'oh dear did you make a hole in the road/grass/pavement, oh we better look, should be around here where is it etc etc' worked for me and stopped any crying, your co-worker would've had a field day with that, Caring more about the road surface than some child's mortal injury.

She sounds ridiculous, she has obviously got some personal issues and probably a whole lot of jealousy of you.

nocoolnamesleft · 02/10/2016 14:12

Oh dear. Does that mean that I need to stop joking, when taking a kid's BP, that we've never had an arm fall off yet, but I keep living in hope, as then I'd get to glue it back on?

user1473454752 · 02/10/2016 14:15

I should think many people that work in schools say these sort of things,so I should not worry about that, as for your colleague I would not even try to converse with her, just leave her to it x

neveradullmoment99 · 02/10/2016 14:22

I have frequently said to my children, don't come and interrupt unless your leg is falling off. It's said as a joke. What the hell is the world coming to????!!!

Original poster
glass22 · 02/10/2016 14:36

It's disappointing that the head took it so seriously. I would like to go back and talk about it with him now I've had time to think but am I dragging it up unnecessarily ? Do I point out the other member of staffs behaviour towards me even though I've not been told it was her who made the complaint? It has really affected me but I have been putting on a brave face. Looking at things online it seems that isolating and undermining a competent worker does come under bullying in the work place. I'd like it addressed unofficially if possible because I'd hate to be responsible for someone losing their job plus I feel uncomfortable complaining about others which is why I've kept quite for 6 months now. I don't want to be over the top but how she has treated me has affected me, it knocks your confidence and makes you question yourself. I've never come across this behaviour before outside of my own playground as a child!

School's are 'clicky' places as I'm sure you know and unfortunately I think the head and the other member of staff have known each other a long time. I don't know their history but he has shown favouritism towards her over me before. I didn't know they knew each other at the time though. All this makes it difficult to approach the head and hope they see it how it is.

OP posts:
nicp123 · 02/10/2016 14:59

I think you shouldn't behave towards pupils at work in the same way you behave with your own children at home. You need to be professional at all times when in charge of First Aid.
If you work in an Infant school or with children younger than 8 years of age you should know that most of them cannot understand grown-up jokes or catch phrases.
Instead of making silly comments I would actually reassure those injured and explain what are you going to do to make them feel better. They might be already feeling ashamed about getting hurt in front of their peers and joking about their pain will make them feel worst.

SaturdaySurprise · 02/10/2016 15:08

I don't like it when adults make these sorts of comments to children. I've heard all of these said to toddlers...
"I'll call the Police and they'll put you gaol",
"the waiter will come and lock you in the cupboard",
"I'm going home now and will leave you in the street".

I don't think it's funny and must be confusing to the children. Why tell children stuff that isn't true and is just unpleasant?

Shockers · 02/10/2016 15:14

I think those comments are slightly different Saturday. The OP isn't telling the children that they will be abandoned or sent away for behaving badly.

fastdaytears · 02/10/2016 15:17

Those comments are entirely different and the OP isn't dealing with toddlers

BearGryllsHasaBigRope · 02/10/2016 15:17

I got told I shouldn't say this to my kids (which I do, all the time!) by a couple of women who were sat around talking about how they used to smack theirs... Apparently my comments would terrify them. Smacking them though? No issues with that. The mind boggles! Confused

youarenotkiddingme · 02/10/2016 15:26

I thought everyone said this when a child had a cut/injury (that clearly isn't life threatening) as an lighthearted distraction technique.

I'm surprised anyone complained.

chickenowner · 02/10/2016 15:29

I always say that and the child always laughs!

TealGiraffe · 02/10/2016 15:32

Another one saying wtf?! I work in primary and say this all the time!

"Ooh dear, best get mr 'caretaker' to get out the saw...i hope you haven't damaged his floor!' Etc etc.
They usually giggle and go 'nooooo, don't chop it!' while laughing.

Whoever reported you is a dick

DixieWishbone · 02/10/2016 15:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

40somethingwonderful · 02/10/2016 15:51

I too work in primary and say this thing all the time.

Yanbu

user1468518769 · 02/10/2016 15:53

I just hope my child is treated by a first aide like you. This would make her laugh. I also joke like this with some of my patients. Sneak laxatives in her tea. (Only joking).