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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have wanted more than toast?

400 replies

Womenareliketeabags · 01/10/2016 17:17

First time posting in AIBU so please be kind and I'm prepared to accept I am.

A few weeks ago I had a planned home birth, birth went well until the placenta was delivered at which point I had a large haemorrhage and was rushed to the nearest labour ward in an ambulance. By the time I had been sorted and I got my coffee and toast it was 01.30am and I hadn't eaten since lunch at 12.30pmish so I was very very hungry! Coffee and toast was lovely. However it did not ease my hunger, the kind midwife offered to see if they had a spare sandwich lying around, there wasn't so she made me some more toast. As I had been rushed in I didn't have my purse and my hospital bag only had very basic stuff, was middle of the night and DH had left at this point so I had no way of getting food from else where.

AIBU to think that labour wards should be able to access food for women at all hours of the day and night?

OP posts:
Dizzybintess · 01/10/2016 17:18

I have never been so hungry as I was in hospital after having DD i was in for 4 days and was constantly starving

SecondTimeIsBetter · 01/10/2016 17:20

Sorry but I think you are being unreasonable - they made you coffee and toast at 1:30. Toast was what I had after both my dc!!!

Sparklesilverglitter · 01/10/2016 17:21

I not long had DD and I ended up with an emergency c section after a few hours of labour.
All I got was toast too, I spent 4 days in hospital and was starving most of it. DH and good old Mum brought me snacks each day but not enough I was sooo hungry!

I am very jealous of my friend she had her baby at a private hospital and she got afternoon tea and a menu she could choose from any time of day.

TeaBelle · 01/10/2016 17:22

I think Yabu, sorry. It would be difficult for them to have access to a sufficient range of foods to cover all dietary requirements/tastes etc. While you may have wanted more, you wouldn't have become medically unwell through lack of food. I was advised to have food & money in my hospital bag

ClopySow · 01/10/2016 17:23

I only got crackers with butter first time.

Second time i got lunch which had been kept warm in the oven for about 3 hours. My ex tried to eat some. He nearly died by my fork. Best meal i'd ever had.

MumOnTheRunCatchingUp · 01/10/2016 17:23

Yabu

Your DH left you with no food or money.... thats your problem. Not the NHS

Eatthecake · 01/10/2016 17:23

Oh I do hear you!

The toast for me doesn't do anything with dc4 I hadn't eaten since labour started 18 hours and then I had to stay in 3 days I was constantly hungry I just wanted to eat and eat. DH brought me snacks of course he did but they didn't last long I was soooo hungry

AyeAmarok · 01/10/2016 17:24

I think YABU.

They can't have a 24HR staffed kitchen there in case someone comes in hungry and wants a proper meal in the early hours of the morning.

RebootYourEngine · 01/10/2016 17:24

What kind of food were you thinking of?

JellyBelli · 01/10/2016 17:24

Its the cuts, its ridiculous. If you were diabetic or had another medical issue you might have needed something to eat and they cant provide anything.
Last time I was in I didnt get fed for a week. They kept moving me, so I missed ordering the meal for the next day.

chanie44 · 01/10/2016 17:24

I remember having toast in the hospital when DD was born and it was the best thing if ever tasted.

YABU to expect anything else.

JellyBelli · 01/10/2016 17:25

I dont think its ridiculous to think a hospital can staff a small canteen overnight.

LineyReborn · 01/10/2016 17:26

When I had DD I had been in hospital in labour and hadn't eaten for over 24 hours. It was after midnight. They sent my then DH home. I was given a small cup of tea and one piece of toast, then just left.

I remember being bloody ravenous and there was nothing I could do. I was also on a drip so couldn't wander off to scavenge. In fact it's just one of the many things I recall being a bit shit.

ExH would have left food if we'd been told I was only allowed one piece of toast. But we weren't told.

Anyway, breakfast arrived and they let me have two, thankfully. I have never been so glad to see a plate of tinned tomatoes in my life.

Original poster
Womenareliketeabags · 01/10/2016 17:26

Reboot not expecting anything fancy. When I'd previously worked on NHS wards they had a stash of frozen ready meals incase of anyone needing food at odd times due to admission/diabetes etc.

OP posts:
Groovee · 01/10/2016 17:27

Toast was more substantial when I got 3 biscuits when admitted to the ante natal ward with pre eclampsia. Only the post natal ward had toast and stuff. During the day they could call the kitchen to get a sandwich delivered but not at night Sad

Topknob · 01/10/2016 17:28

Ds 3 was born prematurely, very quickly on Christmas Day at 1.00am.

I was given a lovely turkey and stuffing sandwich to eat by one of the midwives.
Which I promptly threw up in the shower after.
Grin

Lunar1 · 01/10/2016 17:28

I'd re word you question to say, AIBU to think dh could have sorted some food out before he left me, I was hungry with no access to money or food?

MimiSunshine · 01/10/2016 17:29

In theory YANBU but think practically how would that work?
Kitchen staff working on 24hr rotation? Expensive and mostly unused

Fridges of sandwiches? Who will manage stock rotation (not midwives I hope) and what if there's only chicken left and you're veggie or can't / won't eat wheat?

Ultimately it's our responsibility to be prepared and that's true even for planned home births, I'm sure you were advised to have a bag packed just in case and lesson learnt that should have included change and or snacks

LineyReborn · 01/10/2016 17:30

I'd have been happy with toast. But only one piece, after over 24 hours? As a bf new mother? When they've told your partner to leave and won't help you, and you're on a drip. How is that U?

NavyandWhite · 01/10/2016 17:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

onwego · 01/10/2016 17:31

Agree with chanie, I remember the sweet tea and toast I had in hospital at about 1am after having dc as blissful!

Original poster
Womenareliketeabags · 01/10/2016 17:31

For the slating my DH, Id like to point out that DH had actually picked me up some food on his way in but was told I wasn't allowed to eat it and had to leave before it had been decided that I didn't need surgery and was actually allowed to eat. By this point the healthy McDonalds he had got me was stone cold and totally inedible.

OP posts:
MatildaTheCat · 01/10/2016 17:31

A lot of women vomit soon after giving birth so a light snack is quite sensible. YWU to not pack a small bag for hospital, all home births run the risk of an emergency admission.

I would be more grateful for the midwives saving you from a potentially life threatening haemorrhage and less critical of their culinary offerings.

PinkyOfPie · 01/10/2016 17:31

Sorry YABU, theh fed you it's not their responsibility to give you a hearty meal

Cinnamon12345 · 01/10/2016 17:32

I believe in many other countries family bring in food and do a lot more care for their family members. We do have the NHS but what we pay in taxes no where near covers the cost of what we expect it to give back to us.

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