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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To have wanted more than toast?

400 replies

Womenareliketeabags · 01/10/2016 17:17

First time posting in AIBU so please be kind and I'm prepared to accept I am.

A few weeks ago I had a planned home birth, birth went well until the placenta was delivered at which point I had a large haemorrhage and was rushed to the nearest labour ward in an ambulance. By the time I had been sorted and I got my coffee and toast it was 01.30am and I hadn't eaten since lunch at 12.30pmish so I was very very hungry! Coffee and toast was lovely. However it did not ease my hunger, the kind midwife offered to see if they had a spare sandwich lying around, there wasn't so she made me some more toast. As I had been rushed in I didn't have my purse and my hospital bag only had very basic stuff, was middle of the night and DH had left at this point so I had no way of getting food from else where.

AIBU to think that labour wards should be able to access food for women at all hours of the day and night?

OP posts:

Anmi0802 · 04/10/2016 08:45

YABVU you and People (including me) in this country should be so happy for the service you get, for the ambulance you got straight away when you needed, and for the toasts. In most countries you don't get even the ambulance. You are nt there to eat something special, but to deliver a child, also why did you husband leave you ? He could have gone somewhere to get something nice to you as a new daddy?
I don't want to be harsh, just giving my view. Hope you are ok and your baby as well

AutumnMadness · 04/10/2016 09:03

Anmi0802, as I said before, next time you are an inpatient in the hospital for anything (e.g. hip replacement), don't forget to pack those rubber gloves so you can scrub the toilet as you really should just be happy with the actual medical bit of the service. Anything else is an unnecessary extra. In most countries people don't even get the medical bit, btw, so stiff upper lip, etc.

fishonabicycle · 04/10/2016 09:53

I hadn't eaten for about 24 hours and was given tea and toast too. I remember hurling my son aside and almost biting the nurse's hand off I was so hungry!

Anmi0802 · 04/10/2016 10:13

AutumnMadness I will
Thank you for the idea, I think while people are dying there and they are so worried you will be there asking for food. And waiting to be in a restaurant. All I'm saying is her husband could have bought her something, what is the big deal on that? Instead of complaining ?

Anmi0802 · 04/10/2016 10:16

Oh and just to let you know I had a baby 8 months ago and was starving, had toast ( didn't make me happy) but I got full and it was enough, when I got home I are lots of nice things

Anmi0802 · 04/10/2016 10:17

Oh and I had cancer two years ago and had toast again,

milkyface · 04/10/2016 10:28

I gave birth just after midnight and had tea and toast.

I also had a massive bar of dairy milk from dp because I passed my driving test the day I went into hospital outs self

milkyface · 04/10/2016 10:28

I gave birth just after midnight and had tea and toast.

I also had a massive bar of dairy milk from dp because I passed my driving test the day I went into hospital outs self

Stormtreader · 04/10/2016 10:31

Wow, so if you dont have a partner or family to come in to provide basic welfare then what? Youre supposed to starve? Patients are being moved from one ward to another, they exist on the paperwork as being a continuous patient for that whole period, why is there no meal allowance ticket being passed between wards? Why is there nothing in place to flag that someone has not been fed?

I cant believe people are still harping on about "restaurants" when the clear message coming across here is that a lot of women are being starved. Not complaining that the beef wasnt perfectly medium-rare, not complaining that they only got 2 slices of toast when they wanted 4, theyre being starved in hospital. Thats horrifying.

Anmi0802 · 04/10/2016 10:53

I think I misunderstood everything here, I thought Op said she was hungry at 2am and her husband wasn't there. So she got a toast and had to wait for breakfast. I can't remember why she didnt have breakfast. All I'm saying here is they do give food but not at any time, if you had toast, you can wait till morning or next food available to eat? I had a baby and I had food but on the times they wanted. Also I said her husband should have bought something ( but when you are having a baby it's the last thing you will think about ) I'm sorry if I said women should starve, that's not what I meant. I have been in hospital here when I had cancer and never starved, just had to eat their food which wasn't ideal or nice but i had to eat and I was ok with that, my main worry at the time was to get rid of my cancer.

Blondeandinept · 04/10/2016 12:40

Stormtreader... "starved"

expatinscotland · 04/10/2016 13:06

'Wow, so if you dont have a partner or family to come in to provide basic welfare then what? Youre supposed to starve?'

Erm, no, you wait the 4-5 hours till breakfast is served. The OP was given toast, more than a couple of slices, and then had to wait about 5 hours till breakfast was served.

Stormtreader · 04/10/2016 14:50

Quoting from a previous poster:
" I was given 2 cream crackers and a miniature piece of rubber cheese because at 6pm it was too late to get me anything else. I had missed the food ordering for the next day and I was never given a chit to fill in because they 'only deliver those with the previous meal'. I could access a continental breakfast of cereal between 6 and 7:30 am and that was it. How anyone ever got fed is a mystery to me! I had nobody to bring me food for my 4 day stay as mother dearest had buggered off as soon as the baby was born and my husband was trying to get home from a war zone. I wasn't allowed to leave my baby to go to the canteen (obviously) and the post natal ward staff wouldn't keep an eye on her for 10 minutes either. It was a hideous experience. The lack of food completely messed up breastfeeding and I came out of hospital half a stone lighter than I was before I was pregnant and wearing size 8 jeans."

So yes. I have no DH to pop across to the shops etc, and would be very scared to go into hospital to give birth if this is what can happen when you dont have someone on hand to fight for you.

expatinscotland · 04/10/2016 14:58

Well, I didn't have a DH to go out, either, as I gave birth to my DS on my own over an hour from home. So you pack snacks in case you get caught out!

redskytonight · 04/10/2016 14:58

I would have got very hungry without a DH to get food for me as well. I was put in a "back room" due to no room in the post-natal ward and basically forgotten about. I gave birth at 8.40am, and didn't get offered any food (by the hospital) until nearly 6pm. There was no even anyone (that DH could find) to ask! If it's hard for hospitals to provide food, maybe pregnant women should be advised to bring more food with them?

SugarMiceInTheRain · 04/10/2016 15:00

I got nothing in hospital after a 19 hour labour followed by emergency section, brought up to the ward about 11pm. Actually I think I ate a cereal bar I'd brought in with me about 12 hours into my labour. Just tried to sleep/ fed DS1 every half hour through the night after I arrived on the postnatal ward. However, the rice krispies and toast I had the next morning tasted like the food of the gods.

JellyBelli · 04/10/2016 15:16

Its desperately sad how many people think its entitled to expect to be able to get food in a hospital.

DudeWheresMyVulva · 04/10/2016 15:19

I got nothing after finally giving birth at 1 am. I ate some leftover winegums DH had been eating.

My cousin abroad had her baby around the same time in a private hospital... where part of the deal was they moved the mothers and babies out of the delivery room into a 5 star hotel. About 2 hours after giving birth she posted pics on facebook showing her eating a roast chicken dinner and drinking champagne.

I've never forgiven her for it.

(I was very jealous though!)

MLGs · 04/10/2016 15:23

Perhaps if it's not possible for the various logistical reasons stated here to provide more food at night then it should be made really clear to people that they should bring something.

And partners should be reminded by staff on leaving to check with the mother whether she needs them to leave more money, get something from nearby etc. Alot of partners would assume that food is provided, I guess, because it would have been in the past (I think).

MLGs · 04/10/2016 15:26

I didn't get toast either time with mine, but I don't remember being hungry. Perhaps I had something with me, I can't remember (useless post).

MariposaUno · 04/10/2016 15:29

Simular story to you op had my daughter at half 10 at night but didn't get wheeled into a ward until midnight I scoffed two slice of toast and promptly konked out, I didn't even expect toast and didn't have an appetite for weeks after that.

I imagine kitchen is closed at that time and basics is all they can offer.

GingerDoesntHelp · 04/10/2016 15:52

Yanbu.
I gave birth this year and arrived on the post natal Ward late at night. The nurse said that because I'd missed dinner I would have to have a packed tea so I received a sandwich, crisps, yogurt, cereal bar and orange juice - it was great.
This was an NHS hospital and shows it is possible to feed people properly at odd times.

LetsJunglyJumpToIt · 04/10/2016 17:03

If a patient misses a meal, due to being in surgery, or whatever, we just ring the kitchen to order something. Not at night obviously. But we can get toast or a sandwich out of hours.

randomsabreuse · 04/10/2016 17:29

The problem isn't waiting until morning having missed dinner - predictable but waiting from before lunchtime until the following morning that is less predictable. I gave birth at 2.30 pm, got to ward at about 5.40 and had missed dinner!

NickyEds · 04/10/2016 17:39

Exactly randoms, I delivered at 1pm having not eaten for over 24 hours and was told I'd missed lunch, fine so had toast. I was told that I would be up in the post natal ward for tea but, after getting there and asking dp to leave they then told me I was too late. In the morning they said they would save breakfast for me if I wanted to go see the bf support and then didn't. I then asked to be discharged and they said it would be imminent and it wasn't so by the time I left on Monday lunchtime I'd only had toast since Saturday morning,over 50 hours.

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