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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want to continue breastfeeding?

122 replies

BrightOranges · 16/09/2016 10:31

When my baby was born, I never faced or noticed opposition within the first year. But since passing 12 months, I've lost count of the amount of times someone has said "ooh you'll have to stop now" "no that's too old to breastfeed" "you need to change to bottle now" etc.
Why? Why is it seen as wrong to still breastfeed my 16 month old?
BTW I love breastfeeding and it certainly hasn't put me off but I'm sure there are other mum's out there who it would deter.

OP posts:
VladmirsPoutine · 16/09/2016 10:33

I cannot see how anyone would consider this unreasonable. I'm often left flummoxed by the amount of agro breastfeeding causes on Mumsnet.

CecilyP · 16/09/2016 10:37

Just say loudly in your best Lady Bracknell voice, 'a bottle, why would a baby this age need a bottle?' then carry on as you are.

wayway13 · 16/09/2016 10:38

I had the same! Everyone is very supportive until your child is 1 and then it's suddenly weird. My DM is hugely pro-Bf and even she had comments. It was only morning and bedtime (unless she was very upset) so it wasn't even as if they had to witness it.

I continued until 22 months and only stopped because we wanted to try for another baby but my periods hadn't come back.

It is no one else's business!!!!

M0nstersinthecl0set · 16/09/2016 10:39

I got (and still do, people think I am lieing) grief for letting them stop by themselves at 1. For reasons of insecurity I think a lot of people judge whether someone else does things differently. People seem to take personal decisions as some sort of soapbox judgy stance on them. It's weird but i guess there's nothing people are more insecure about than their parenting choices. Sad, isn't it?

raspberrysuicide · 16/09/2016 10:40

It reminds me of bitty from Little Britain when people still breast feed older children.

CeCeBloomer · 16/09/2016 10:40

I had the same - have stopped at 25 months as in late pregnancy with dc2 and wanted a little break. Carry on as long as you like - you don't need anyone else's permission it's between you and your baby

CeCeBloomer · 16/09/2016 10:42

And Raspberry it's shit like that that makes people feel uncomfortable. WHO recommends til 2

CecilyP · 16/09/2016 10:42

16 months is hardly older children!

KayTee87 · 16/09/2016 10:45

First of all I'm hugely jealous of your bf success. My first baby is 7 weeks on Sunday and I'm having to express for him as he just won't latch properly. If I could I'd have loved to bf for as long as possible but looks like he will just continue to have expressed milk!

Do you think people that say something could be jealous in some way if they've not been successful? I know seeing mothers bf their babies just now makes me feel like a bit of a failure (although I would never take it out on the other mum!)

When you're told you need to stop just say 'why?' If they say the baby is too old just say 'why?' and mention that the world health organisation recommends bf until 2 years old.

SpeakNoWords · 16/09/2016 10:46

And bingo to raspberrysuicide... what an idiotic thing to post.

KayTee87 · 16/09/2016 10:46

raspberry 16 months is hardly an older child though is it?

NotSureYet · 16/09/2016 10:47

You're not being at all unreasonable. I think people have weird hang ups about kids over one/toddlers/older kids breastfeeding because no matter how hard we try we can't help but see boobs as sexual things as well as milk machines and I suppose the older children get the more likely people are to think it's sexual in some way.
It's sad and completely misguided but I can only imagine people's weirdness about it is something to do with that.
Breastfeed as long as you're both happy to. People need to get used to seeing breastfeeding babies as well as older children too if we're to change attitudes.

Original poster
BrightOranges · 16/09/2016 10:47

Reminds you of Bitty? Ha! A comedy sketch show of a grown man vs a baby (yes, still a bab) feeding milk the most natural way.
Yet society would rather I give my baby animal's milk or powdered milk. Bit skewered really.

OP posts:
DillyDingDillyDong · 16/09/2016 10:49

You're doing an amazing job!

Ignore what others say or tell them that WHO guidelines actually recommend breastfeeding at least up until two years of age and tell them some of the amazing benefits of breastfeeding toddlers.

Sparklingbrook · 16/09/2016 10:53

Who are all these people commenting? Your friends? Did you ask them why they said it?

raspberrysuicide · 16/09/2016 10:55

The point is that it's got nothing to do with me or anyone else what you do with your own child.
Why on earth would you care what some random person on the Internet thinks!

LaundryQueenHatesIroning · 16/09/2016 10:59

KayTee you are not failing! You are succeeding in feeding your baby and giving him what he needs, well done for expressing for so long, it's hard work! Flowers

My DS is 9mo now and I still feed him in public and I hadn't considered that in the coming months I might get negative comments, probably from family, some of which were not very supportive at the beginning. Of course that will just make me feed him more in front of them until they shut up about it!

Itsmine · 16/09/2016 11:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SpeakNoWords · 16/09/2016 11:06

It's an odd way to make that point, raspberrysuicide. Do you think you might be contributing to making women feel uncomfortable or anxious about breastfeeding in public, with that sort of comment?

blamethecat · 16/09/2016 11:08

Do what is right for you, ignore other people. I still feed my Ds and he was 3 in June, didn't plan to it just seems to have happened. As already mentioned WHO guidelines recommend breastfeeding until 2 years and beyond. If you are happy keep going.

60sname · 16/09/2016 11:09

To me it just seems a bit pointless to breastfeed a child who is eating well. I say that as someone who has just stopped at the 12 month mark (for various reasons not including other's opinions).

However,I would never be so rude as to voice this opinion to an extended breastfeeder.

DaisyFranceLynch · 16/09/2016 11:09

I don't think YABU at all but I'm still feeding a 17 month old.

Breastfeeding up to six months, possibly a year, seems to be generally accepted (although not by some older members of my extended family) but once he passed the year mark I started to get lots of pointed comments about weaning, and how it would be "weird" or "disgusting" if I was still breastfeeding when DS was eighteen months or two. I have had a lot of Little Britain "bitty" comments.

I'm not sure that it is always jealousy, as such - I have some friends who wanted to breastfeed and couldn't, and they've been very supportive. More people believing that the choice that was right for them (not to breastfeed, or to breastfeed until X age and then stop) must be right for me too, as well as prejudice against something which is still very unusual in the UK (breastfeeding children and babies over the age of 1).

I have to say before I had DS I assumed I wouldn't be able to breastfeed, or that I'd struggle on to 3 or 6 months and then stop. I definitely thought it was weird to feed a child with teeth, or one who could ask for milk. Now I have a toddler who can walk up to me, pull down my top, and demand "mama milk", and I don't think there's anything strange about it. But I can see how other people who hadn't ended up in that situation might find it odd.

dustarr73 · 16/09/2016 11:10

I think you need some serious smartarse answers.Like if someone says that to you,say waitt ill hes 5,10,20 then i may stop.

Its jealousy and its usually from people who dont know the 1st thing about bf.

Purplebluebird · 16/09/2016 11:11

Personally I stopped telling people I still bf my son, after about a year. He stopped asking for it in the daytime, nobody needs to know that he still bf's in the evening now, at 2,5 years old! I never imagined I would continue this long mind. But yeah, I just couldn't deal with the comments, so I just am not open with it apart from with some mum friends I have. It's nobody's business tbh! Go you! :)

SpeakNoWords · 16/09/2016 11:12

60sname, it isn't just about nutrition, there are other benefits too. 16 months is no age at all, but it is still quite unusual in the UK given how low our breastfeeding rates are, particularly beyond 6 months.