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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want to continue breastfeeding?

122 replies

BrightOranges · 16/09/2016 10:31

When my baby was born, I never faced or noticed opposition within the first year. But since passing 12 months, I've lost count of the amount of times someone has said "ooh you'll have to stop now" "no that's too old to breastfeed" "you need to change to bottle now" etc.
Why? Why is it seen as wrong to still breastfeed my 16 month old?
BTW I love breastfeeding and it certainly hasn't put me off but I'm sure there are other mum's out there who it would deter.

OP posts:
Sparklesilverglitter · 16/09/2016 14:52

I don't know why people have to be so rude OP, asking when your stop saying he needs a bottle it must be bloody annoying. When will people understand how somebody feeds there baby is nothing to do with anybody else.

16 months is still a very young child, so I really can't understand people's issue

Showgirl109 · 16/09/2016 14:54

But at what point do they need to be able to be comforted by someone else or something else other than a breastfeed?

I don't know that people are more excepting of 4 year olds with dummies.

TheSunnySide · 16/09/2016 14:55

Still doing it at 5. Stop when you want to - you could even let the baby / child self-wean.

SadSock · 16/09/2016 14:58

I just don't get why people need to go on about it all the time. Breastfeed or don't, but why the endless discussions? Just do what you want

HellsBellsnBucketsofBlood · 16/09/2016 15:00

I find it all very confusing as I've never been able to locate decent info about why breastfeeding over 12 months is desirable? Not in terms of comfort, etc, but as relates to whether there is actually a nutritional benefit/health reason. I've heard so many contradictory things - it'll rot their teeth, it'll give them good skin, it does/doesn't provide any health benefits...

There's also the issue of teeth and biting. Which makes me flinch just thinking about it.

Not that it mattered for me anyway, as the need to return to work in a city a long commute away put paid to any extended breastfeeding I might have done.

If you want to continue, then it's no one else's business.

MrsJoeyMaynard · 16/09/2016 15:18

I didn't find biting during breastfeeding to be a problem.

DS2 did bite once or twice after his teeth started coming in, but he quickly learnt that biting meant the breast being removed and the breastfeed stopped, so he stopped biting very quickly.

sianihedgehog · 16/09/2016 15:18

hellsbells It's also a handy immune system boost - older children still receive antibodies through breastmilk. And breastmilk is easier to digest than pretty much anything, so if they are unwell it's amazing at keeping them nourished and hydrated. And it is very comforting for them. Sure, they can be comforted with a cuddle, and sometimes that is the sort of comfort they want. Sometimes they want a breastfeed. Sometimes I want to talk about my problems and sometimes I want a hug. Being comforted is healthy - look at how stress affects adults!

As far as teeth go, my son had all his front teeth by four months. He wasn't REMOTELY ready for solid food at that age. Some babies are born with teeth. Teeth are really not an issue, honestly. There were a couple of uncomfortable days when each tooth came and he had to learn how to latch again, but that was all.

Writerwannabe83 · 16/09/2016 15:31

Oh yes - I remember the re-latching issues when new teeth were appearing Grin

DS accidentally bit me once and it hurt like HELL but thankfully it's never happened since.

My friend is breast feeding her 7 month old teething son and she's bleeding with most BF's. I imagine she'll be stopping soon Grin

PaperdollCartoon · 16/09/2016 15:32

Breast feed as long as you want OP, and tell the nay-sayers to go to hell.

I find it truly quite odd that people think it's weird to feed human milk to a human child over a certain age, but it's perfectly acceptable to give them the milk of anothee species instead.

PaperdollCartoon · 16/09/2016 15:33

Another*

wayway13 · 16/09/2016 15:39

I had the odd nip around 5/6 months when DD started teething and that was it. At 22 months she had a full set and biting was never an issue at all.

RortyCrankle · 16/09/2016 15:42

Next time someone comments tell them that you are going for a world record - there's big money in it - so will be bfing until your child is 16.

That should shut them up Grin

AllTheShoes · 16/09/2016 15:43

I found it the best way to calm a panicking toddler with a nosebleed. If I wasn't there, it took much longer to stop the nosebleed, and she had them quite frequently. So that was a definite benefit.

MrsNuckyThompson · 16/09/2016 15:47

Even my MIL who was a GP asked me incredulously what I was going to do now that DS had so many teeth. This was when he was around a year! It frightened me that even a doctor would have so little grasp as to what's involved to understand that teeth don't matter!!

My own mum was bemused I think but didn't comment.

I fed DS until he turned two and plan to do the same with the next (am 12 weeks!). But I didn't do it in public after I went back to work at a year, mainly because we'd dropped to just morning and bedtime feeds by then so there was no need. So I think that reduced the comments somewhat.

All in all, I say fvck 'em!!

Titsalinabumsquash · 16/09/2016 15:48

I've been going through this, DD was 1 in April and I have lots of 'helpful' people giving me tips on getting her off the breast and telling me it's essential she stops now before it damages her teeth/mental health/stomach, sadly for them, DD isn't all that keen on food and like milk, she doesn't like bottles or cups so that's that.

DS stopped being at 1 because I had to take medication that wasn't safe for him but all safe alternatives had failed, apparently I must love DD more than him because I'm still feeding her. HmmHmm

bomfunk · 16/09/2016 15:49

Haha I just scrolled down to type 'jut fuck'em!' but mrs NT got there before me. Honestly, if someone wants to judge - FUCK 'EM!

harderandharder2breathe · 16/09/2016 15:50

Thought you were gonna say she was 7!

16 months is a baby! If you and baby are happy and healthy then it's no ones else's business

EmzDisco · 16/09/2016 15:51

Hells - if you accept that they still need milk of some kind - cows milk, formular etc, then why not give them milk that's meant for human children, if it's convenient for mother and child? Or would you also question why someone gave cows milk or follow on formular etc past 12 months?

It is funny we are some comfortable with not only giving our children milk meant for another species offspring, in fact even consume it ourselves as adults (which is really really weird when I think about it - and I consume as much dairy as anyone), it's quite crazy that a toddler drinking milk from their own mother could attract any kind of comment or attention at all.

Wonder what the cows make of it all Confused

DixieNormas · 16/09/2016 16:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SeaFlute · 16/09/2016 16:44

I wonder if some of the 'when are you going to stop' comments are kindly meant, along the lines of giving the mum permission eg 'you can stop if you want to'? Not everyone finds BF easy or enjoyable and there's a lot of pressure to keep BF. I felt guilty reducing DD's feeds when she turned 1, but it was beneficial to both of us as she started eating more solids and sleeping better. Before that she was BF multiple times a day and was so full up with milk she wasn't hungry. I thought she was just a fussy eater at the time Blush My HV suggested cutting it down and highlighted the benefits, taking away some of my initial guilt. When she wants comfort I give cuddles instead. I do feed more when she's ill and off solids, I find my supply quickly adjusts. And we always have a long feed before and after work, which I'll carry on with.

It's personal choice. But for many mums, a toddler who is on and off the breast all day/night is tiring and doesn't fit well when you return to work.

I've also been through a biting stage, and almost weaned at this point. I can totally understand why many mums choose to wean around the age of 1.

Highlandfling80 · 16/09/2016 16:49

I am still breastfeeding my 4 year old Dd. Only at bedtime though. Never expected to and Tbf I don't discuss it due to idiotic bitty type comments
Clearly op is nbu.

Titsalinabumsquash · 16/09/2016 17:30

DD is my last so maybe it is selfish to continue but she doesn't eat solids really, she might eat a tablespoon of dinner but breakfast and lunch are a no no.
I wouldn't know how to stop if I wanted to she's breast obsessed, she is always asking for milk (by lifting my tshirts and nodding frantically "for Baby for baby!")

YokoUhOh · 16/09/2016 20:06

Hecan'tbe try telling my ovaries that!! I couldn't get pregnant for the life of me then - wham - I fell pregnant the first month after DS1 gave up.

My periods only came back after 2.5 years, when we gave up night feeds.

I'm just a one-off freaky prolactin-sensitive person, I'm afraid.

metimeisforwimps · 16/09/2016 20:11

You just have to ignore them. I'm still feeding my 2.5 year old and get a lot of comments, especially from family. I neither hide nor draw attention to it as it is no one else's business. There are a lot of benefits, and not a single health or psychological related drawback to extended bfing.

Writerwannabe83 · 16/09/2016 20:12

I got my periods back when DS was four months and he's now 2.5 years.

I've been pregnant three times in my life and each time I fell pregnant on my first cycle.

Me and DH are TTC#2 and so far we've had one early miscarriage followed by six months of BFNs and part of me does wonder whether the fact I'm breast feeding has something to do with why it isn't happening for us this time round.