To already roll eyes at the whingy school threads..

[Ditsyprint40]

Working in a school, and being totally inundated with both serious and trivial things..

FFS you read the prospectus, you know the uniform and hair rules. No, I don't have 37 pens to give out, buy one for your child, or maybe even a pencil case with colouring stuff and a pencil and a ruler too. No, I won't replace the bag/coat/phone that you DC has lost (the PE kit is probably still hanging in the changing room where he left it). Remember when you were at school? You turned up with all the correct kit, you got on with the work and you did what was expected of you. If you didn't you got punished. Get over it. Your child is not perfect, any more than you were. In a 60 minute lesson your child in a class of 30 will literally have 1 minute of the teachers time. And no, they won't phone you back urgently or respond immediately to your email. They are busy teaching some other kids. Oh, and don't email me at midnight and wonder why I don't respond. And stop phoning your child on their mobile during lesson time. I will confiscate the fucking thing. And homework, don't get me on homework! Get a consensus people. Your child gets homework because every time a teacher forgets to set it or decides that it isn't appropriate at this point, someone phones or emails to complain that little Jonny didn't get his usual 47 pieces of work this week! Oh, and no, I won't move your DC for the third time on my seating plan just because he's fallen out with someone else. Actually, it's because he smells, please bath him. Oops, sorry, I'm not supposed to mention that am I?

Label your child's things, and go over how to look for them. All schools have lost and found. Don't send valuable things to school. Teach your child to look after his things, and to organize himself. Girls are just as bad as boys about these things. I don't have children that don't purr, but was a child once.
Before buying school clothes, shoes, and haircuts, check the school rules on uniform and appearance. If makeup, hair dye, and nail varnish are forbidden, back the school up. If you don't like the rules, don't send your chikd to the school.

I am farking fed up with PS teachers using shy introverted children to sit between children with disciplinary problems that they have no notion or new ideas how to reach. The explanation being 'well shy timid kid will teach by example' nah shy kid becomes anxious weepy kid
Sooooo yes, I will indeed be looking at you and watching all your blardy children blaming again this year teacher...massive sigh and eye roll
I will also whinge until you realise that my kid is not your blardy goat on a stake

If your child can't tie laces yet, then buy them velcos. Don't expect the teacher/aide/other students to retie them 100 times per day. Label everything, more than once. No, I won't peel your child's apple, if they can't eat the peel, then send them with something they can eat. Your child is not going to go up three reading levels on day one. No, I can't give you any indication of what their high school prospects are yet. If little Susie's braid falls out during the day, I'm not going to sit and rebraid it. If she comes in with dangly earrings, I'm going to make her take them out, because dealing with you telling me off because she doesn't look pretty, is better than than you telling me off when her earlobe gets torn. If the bell rings at a certain time, then you need to pick them up on time or make other arrangements, because I will not be sitting around waiting for you, they'll go to after school care who will charge you. No, I will not call you each night and tell you what their homework is, look at the classroom blog (that you came to a training course about how to use). If your child forgets their lunch, then they get a sandwich, not a gourmet meal catered to their individual tastes.

I don't have a child, but was one once. Label your choice kid's clothing and possessions. Teach him to check the lost and found; better yet, teach him to take care of his things. Don't send valuable things to school. Buy him a planner, and teach him to write down his assignments.

Before purchasing school clothes, shoes, or haircuts, check the school rukes carefully. If certain items such as nail polish, hair dye, or make up are forbidden, back the school up. Pack sensible food and drink.
Chikdren whose parents feel school is important and model reading at home do better in school.
These things apply to chikdren of all genders.

I would like Mumsnet to move these threads to an appropriate board in the Education topic.

But Ronald they don't have "disciplinary problems" they are just "outgoing" "sparky" or "lively", ok?

I would like to see parents become a teacher for a week and then maybe then they'd STFU.

Moaning parents remind me of Michael Gove. Honestly, I expect they'll have a point on some occasions but have some respect for those in a profession that they'd probably never dare consider.

I also want teachers to respect parents and where they're coming from (which they generally do IME) unless they're the type who think that their child is so precious and special to the world.

Everyone, just grow up.

I am not a teacher btw. But can see that the toxic environment between pupil/parents/teachers is a disaster for our education system.

midnite - mine did go up 10 reading levels in one day and apparently would have carried on but the (lovely) TA thought she'd done enough of the tests. In my defence, I was polite about asking about her reading (I asked how I could help dd as she had spent a long time at the original level) as it was an NQ teacher at the time and she looked like a rabbit in head lights every time a parent approached her.

I agree with everything that everyone says, but Eric - you don't have children that purr, you have cats.

It gives me the rage when people refer to their pets as children.

As you were.

Good point about putting the quiet children next to the difficult ones though.

Good point about putting the quiet children next to the difficult ones though.

On day one, most teachers probably won't know who are the quiet ones. We will know the "challenging" ones though ;)

mine did go up 10 reading levels in one day shock and apparently would have carried on but the (lovely) TA thought she'd done enough of the tests.

There is no way I would push a child that far in one day. And I certainly wouldn't rely on a TA to be doing my testing for me. I need to have evidence that they can demonstrate those skills on more than one occasion at each level before moving them up. It's not a race.

This is nice to know

Everyone in my class got a turn with the "challenging" ones. I used to move the class around on a weekly basis to try to make it fair. Still had parents trying to dictate who their DCs could and couldn't sit near.

Emergency numbers - no use if the ill DC can't be collected within an hour of calling. Pity the poor DC sitting in the corridor outside the HT's office with a bucket on its lap. Or better still, don't send them to school when they are ill. Especially you, A's mum. Chicken Pox is infectious and uncomfortable. Covering her with calamine lotion and sending her to school because you have an "important" job isn't an option.

Emergency numbers - no use if the ill DC can't be collected within an hour of calling. Pity the poor DC sitting in the corridor outside the HT's office with a bucket on its lap. Or better still, don't send them to school when they are ill. Especially you, A's mum. Chicken Pox is infectious and uncomfortable. Covering her with calamine lotion and sending her to school because you have an "important" job isn't an option

Exactly this.

The lost property, bloody cardigans, jumpers, gym shoes, jackets etc that are left on the grass outside/lunch hall however it's the teachers fault, never the child's fault. Actually I don't care if you expect the school to replace it we never do Label the bloody garments to enable the janitor to return lost items, it's not rocket science.

Juice in water bottles - yes I will tip it out and refill with water as per the rules of no juice in class. I don't want my precious school books ruined by ribena thank you very much.

Snacks - put them in the bloody school bag the night before, my class was interrupted 5 times yesterday with the janitor dropping off snacks for pupils.

Ensure your child does actually like what's on the dinner menu and no I won't "make him a quick sandwich" 🙄 I'm a teacher not a chef.

No child needs a twix, pack of crisps and fruit for a 15 minute break - reign in the snacks for goodness sake.

Please don't let your dd have nice bright acrylics done the weekend before we come back. It's in the rules so please don't be shocked when she gets in trouble. And big tip parent of boy X, do you really think a 13 year old can be trusted to buy the right shoes unsupervised? (I saw him in town and he'd bought trainers)
And breathe.

Oh, also - you can label stuff as much as you like. No fucker ever reads the labels! It just disappears into the ether, the only time a label ever works is when someone trustworthy takes an item home by mistake and notices and gives it directly to you.

I've never had a labelled item of clothing back by a member of school staff even though at the end of term when they do the whole 'lay everything out on the floor so people can root through the lost property', half the stuff has got people's names in!

Sounds like you all love your jobs

I read the labels. Every sodding half term I go through the lost property and return labelled items. And if you've labelled in pen, please remember that it might need redoing from time to time. If I can't read the name, it goes back in the basket.

Please don't complain to the school if your child's clothes are ruined because they've left them on the playground (again) and it's rained, or the items have been trampled into the mud. How about teaching your child to take responsibility for themselves?

How about you all re-think your jobs if you hate the stupid children and stupid parents so much?

Emergency numbers - no use if the ill DC can't be collected within an hour of calling.

I'm a bit confused by this - is the idea not to give an emergency telephone number?

It isn't reasonable or realistic to expect parents to always be able to pick up children within an hour.

It isn't reasonable or realistic to expect parents to always be able to pick up children within an hour.

It isn't reasonable or realistic to expect an ill child to be cared for in school. Who do you suggest does it? Teachers are teaching and office staff are doing their work.

The school need a number of someone who can be there ASAP. It doesn't have to be a parent.